Castlevania: The Adventure ReBirth

The Short

Pros

- An actual new, linear Castlevania game. In 2009. Whaaaa

- Graphics look appropriately 16-32 bit with some fantastic pixel art

- Gameplay feels shockingly familiar to Rondo of Blood/Bloodlines era of the series

- Multiple paths through levels encourage replaying

- Difficulty and continue settings make the game accessible

- A "classic" mode adds old jump controls (vs in-air control) and locks non-traditional sub-weapons

- Music is kick-ass and sounds exactly like it would if the Genesis and SNES had a love child

Cons

- Picking up a subweapon on accident doesn't give you the option to retrieve the old one. Come on!

- Game gets pretty damn hard starting on Level 3

- Only five stages and the final boss "stage"

- Split paths are cool but don't unlock anything like they do in Rondo of Blood

- Is tied in name to Castlevania: The Adventure, which was a really stupid thing to associate ones-self with

This whole experience has been shocking.

The Long

So, this game was supposed to be awful. It really was. It was a few months before Lords of Shadow came out, "rebooting" the franchise and ultimately killing it. Konami decides to release a Wiiware exclusive Castlevania game (maybe to make up for the fact that Lords of Shadow wasn't coming to Wii), and based on the title it sounds like a remake of Castlevania: The Adventure. You know? The worst Castlevania game ever made? Yeah. That one.

I only even gave this game a shot because I wanted my Castlevania review binge to be complete, and figured even a remake of The Adventure couldn't be any worse than the original. Well, I was right. It isn't worse. In fact, it's one of the best Castlevania games. No, really. I'm as shocked as you are. Maybe even more, actually. Because I'm pretty damn shocked.

Anyway, let's talk about this.

This looks a bit familiar.

First thing to point out: this isn't actually a remake of Castlevania: The Adventure. In fact, the only thing that carries over is the eyeballs (but they don't explode anymore) and the fact that you can get a whip that shoots projectiles. Hell, they even cut the remixed song from Castlevania: The Adventure from the game (which sucks, frankly, because that song is awesome). Oh, and it's the same Belmont (Christopher), in what little story it presents.

Aside from that, Rebirth is a whole different beast. And thank god for that, because Rebirth is a phenomenal Castlevania game.

This is a linear Castlevania game. Unlike all the Game Boy Advance and DS titles, Rebirth is sticking with the basics, making this the first linear Castlevania game since Castlevania Chronicles on the PS1 (which was a remake of Castlevania 1). And as such, you traverse stages in a semi-linear fashion, gathering power-ups, hunting for wall-chicken to refill your health, and wishing the stairs were all gone (though they aren't as bad this time around). You gather orbs to power up your whip, and while getting a second orb grants you a ranged attack (like the Game Boy games), it is only temporary. I imagine this is in response to having sub-weapons in the game, but still provides a cool throwback to it's Adventure source. I like it.

Also, this game can get quite tricky.

Despite being released in 2009, I'm pleased to say Konami didn't skimp on the difficulty. While the game does have branching paths (the trickier they are to find, usually the easier they are to traverse), there is some mad difficult platforming and level design in this game. While it isn't perfect (the difficulty seems to fluctuate a bit, espeically considering how hard Stage 3 is), this sure feels a lot like old-school Castlevania. Not Castlevania III: Drac in the Box hard, mind you, but on par with Rondo of Blood or Bloodlines at the very least. I'm a huge fan.

If you aren't a huge fan (or were raised on the more lenient Metroid-vania offerings of the series), the game does have difficulty settings as well as life settings (up to 9, with unlimited continues). Easy isn't quite a cakewalk (since most of the later stages [stage 3, again] have more platforming challenges than enemy challenges), but it's certainly simpler than old-school linear 'vania's. Normal feels like a great fit, and there's even a Hard setting if you thought Castlevania III: This Joke is Getting Old was too easy. You masochist.

Also, there is a LOT of eyeballs.

The game plays great. The whip has appropriate wind-up, sub-weapons are essential (though, as always, the cross is the best). Item-crash or acrobatics (from Rondo) aren't here, and neither is multi-dimensional whipping (from Super). This is just a very by-the-numbers Castlevania experience, similar to Bloodlines. And ya'll know how I feel about Bloodlines.

One big difference is you initially have in-air control over your jumps, rather than the unalterable arch. Those who read these reviews probably know how I feel about that (I like my jumps like I like my significant others: dedicated yet uncontrollable), but after beating just one stage unlocks "Classic" mode. This returns the engagement-ring style of jumping, as well as removes all sub-weapons except the bottle and the cross (the only two you need, so no biggie). Brilliant touch, Konami. Those who like their Castlevanias this way can enable it should they desire, while everybody else can have their wamby-pamby, easy-mode in-air modern platformer jumping controls. WHO NEEDS IT?! 

3spooky5me

Stages are well built throughout is the point, and it can feel as classic or modern (or anywhere in-between) as you want. While Rebirth doesn't really do anything too crazy or that hasn't been done before, it just does it all so...well. I'd claim they were pandering to me if this wasn't exactly how I've wanted to be pandered to as they released game after game of Metroid-vania titles. Between the tricky platforming, familiar enemies (and some new ones!), obnoxious stair-climbing, and monkey skeletons on ropes (which you, sadly, can't climb anymore), this is about as Castlevania as it gets. I love it.

The only thing that feels under-utilized is the branching paths. While I appreciate them (obviously a nod to Rondo of Blood), in Rondo they often were more than just another route. Frequently they'd unlock entirely new stages, new bosses, or even new characters (Maria). This is not the case here: split paths are just for funsies, some harder and others easier than the "standard" route. It would've been cool to offer unlocks or something by going down these paths (like a Simon skin for Christopher, etc.), but alas, it was not to be.

Final gripe: picking up a subweapon doesn't let you change your mind and pick up the other one (i.e. you don't drop it, it just vanishes into space). This is especially obnoxious if you pick up the key before a boss (which does jack all ) and now...tough luck, nerd! Good job trying to key Dracula's car to death!

Oh, and the game is pretty short. I said the last gripe was my final one, but too bad. To be fair, the stages themselves are pretty freaking long (each with a mid-level boss as well as the final one), but the fact there's only five of them and a "final boss" stage is too bad.

Death is still a huge jerk.

I'm in love with this game's graphics. While it isn't the best pixel art around the board (some of the enemies look a little...bad, like the mermen), nearly every enemy has original sprite art (we finally aren't using the Medusa Head sprite from Rondo anymore! It only took seven freaking games!), and the game even tosses in a few brand-new enemies (and bosses) to test your mettle. Everything is hand-pixelated, without any of the pseudo-3D cheap tricks people like to sneak into their 2D (or 2.5D) platformers these days. Even when things are falling apart (like the bridge in the pic up there), the way it breaks into chunks looks very SNES/Genesis style of sprite manipulation. I love all of it; it all looks fantastic. If Shovel Knight was meant to emulate a NES, Rebirth perfectly emulates the 16-bit era.

Music is also on-point in so many ways. Every song is a remix, which I am all about. Even better, they chose to remix a few lesser known songs (the opening level is a Bloodlines remix, which means instant 10/10, perfect game). The midi mix they used sounds like a weird hybrid between the SNES and Genesis sound chips (though more of the latter) and I love it. I love all of it. They even remixed the best song from Belmont's Revenge, which I thought Konami forgot existed. Like, I'm gushing now, but this soundtrack is boss hog. 

This is my kind of Castlevania.

So color me completely surprised or whatever, but Castlevania: The Adventure ReBirth is a damned fine Castlevania game, a wholly original linear Castlevania experience, and one that came out in freaking 2009. I'm still having difficultly fathoming this.

It has great gameplay, varying levels of difficulty to appeal to newcomers and hardcore fans alike, the graphics and music are phenomenal, and the levels are built smartly and are equal parts punishing and fun. It's a great Castlevania game.

If I had to force a gripe on it (aside from the small points I've mentioned already), it's that Rebirth, while solid, never quite reaches the heights found in the best of the linear Castlevanias. Maybe I'm rose-tinting here, but there's a tightness in Castlevania 1 and Bloodlines that this game is lacking. Barely. Also it doesn't really try anything new (aside from a handful of original enemies) or steal that might have been too controversial (Richtor's moveset, Bloodline's whip-swing, etc.). It's as basic as it can get.

And I'm totally ok with this. For a $10 downloadable WiiWare title, this game seems like a bloody miracle that it even exists. If you have any affinity for the linear Castlevania games, you must get Rebirth. I can't believe I'm recommending something associated (if only a little) with Castlevania: The Adventure, but there you go. Get it. Right now.

Four out of five stars. 

Also, shame on you Konami for not using this song! Shame, shame, shame!

Castlevania: Legends

The Short

Pros

- Another handheld Castlevania game! Yay?

- Stars the first solo female protagonist in Castlevania history. And her hair is awesome!

- Magic system (replacing subweapons) is a pretty decent idea

- More control over jumps makes platforming a lot easier

- Has an easy ("Light") mode for those who suck

- Actually has...a plot? Whaaaaaaaaaa

- Attempts to mimic Symphony of the Night with its expansive levels

Cons

- "Expansive levels" is code for "lots of dead ends"

- Graphics look bad, especially character/enemy sprites

- Music also ranges from "just ok" to "my ears, my ears!"

- Auto-grabbing ropes is gone (why...?)

- Enemies frequently seem to have only the most basic of AI (walk off cliffs or target in on you and never leave)

- Entire plot was retconned out of Castlevania canon, because having the Belmonts be descended from Alucard and Sonia was a little too weird.

- Is like...$60 on eBay. WAY OVERPRICED.

Is it legend-wait for it....-dary?

The Long

So far we've had a catastrophic failure GB Castlevania game and a pretty damn good GB Castlevania game. So for the third installment, Konami regulated the game to a side-team, KCEN, who were also responsible for the (cancelled) Sega Saturn port of Symphony of the Night. That should be an unfortunate indication of where this review is heading already.

It's also worth pointing out that Castlevania: Legends was released after Symphony of the Night, which meant my comment in my review of Castlevania: Bloodlines (saying it was the last linear Castlevania game that wasn't a remake or a re-release) was wrong. So much for research, but I'm just gonna keep it that way. Why? Because Bloodlines is awesome and Legends is bad.

Whoops, getting ahead of myself. Let's break this down, shall we?

Sonia Belmont, retconned out of history.

The plot follows Sonia Belmont, and was meant to be a prequel to the series. She wields the first Vampire Killer whip (the one passed down the Belmont lineage for generations), and due to some weird plot things later it is implied that all the Belmonts are descended from Sonia and Alucard (?!). But that isn't super important. What is important is vampires need killing, and Sonia is the most badass person around so she gets the job done. She's also the first solo female protagonist in a Castlevania game (where Castlevania III: Drac's Back, Jack had Sypha and Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin had Charlotte, and also Rondo of Blood let you play as Maria with some unlocks), which is a pretty neat idea! I think it would be cool to have more badass female vampire killers in the Castlevania series, especially if their hair was as rad as Sonia's.

It's unfortunate, therefore, that the game she's in is pretty damn bad.

SPOOKY GHOST SPOOKY

Ok, "bad" might be a little much. "Bland and mediocre" might be more appropriate.

Castlevania: Legends looks at everything done in the previous Game Boy game (Belmont's Revenge) and says, "Eh, what? Auto-climbing ropes? Tight controls? Single-room challenges? Enemies that actually have patterns that make sense? Who neeeeeeeeds em?" and then proceeds to make a bloated mess of a Castlevania game. It is clear that they played Symphony of the Night and wanted to incorporate some of the "open world" style decision making in their level designs. But while this sort of worked in a linear game in Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse Hearse, here it's just an unmitigated disaster.

Levels have next to no thought put into them. Frequently, these "branching paths" will simply lead to dead ends, resulting in unnecessary backtracking. Further exacerbating this is the constant, reckless respawn time of enemies. Often an enemy will appear, you'll back up to land an attack and kill it, only to have it instantly respawn when continuing right. This happens constantly. 

And don't even get me started about the traps. Because I'm about to talk about the traps.

Pictured: Aforementioned "traps"

Sometimes (often at random but rarely as part of the "plot"), you'll whip a candle and instead of getting a delicious heart or coin, the floor will disappear beneath you. You'll then be trapped in a room with enemies you are forced to kill in waves (yes, wave based murder in a 2D platformer) until the room frees you. You get no reward for this, just the ability to continue your adventure. It's about as absurdly frustrating as it sounds.

Sophia controls decently. You don't downgrade your weapon ever (even when getting hit) which is nice, and she has the projectile-whip that Christopher had in the other Game Boy games. What's appreciated is you do have a slight bit of in-air control with the jumps this time around, though the game doesn't use this to make platforming any more interesting. In fact, most of the platforming is delightfully bland, making Simon's Quest's layouts look inspired. This is coupled with enemies (bats and ghosts in particular) who just straight up ram into you over and over with no escape. Imagine getting hit again and again but a crappy bat, whipping and trying to hit it but missing because it's sprite is literally on top of you. This is the enemy AI in Castlevania: Legends. Frustrating.

You also got this big doofus.

Which is interesting, because most of the bosses are cakewalks. Well, to a point. You see that "B" beneath your lifebar? What do you think that is? Well, if you've played any other 2D Castlevania ever made, you'll say "the stage boss's health bar."

Wrong. You IDIOT. 

The stage boss has no health bar. That's right, a Castlevania game with no boss health bar. You just kind of whip all over and hope he dies before you do. Great strategy.

Luckily, Sofia has this totally badass "light myself on fire so Ninjas can't get me" powerup that she can use once per stage. It makes her invincible and doubles her damage for a brief moment (you activate it by pressing all the buttons at once, thank me later). It's a cool idea, but pretty much you'll only use it for bosses, which makes an already easy boss fight even simpler.

Ceiling worms are the worst of her problems.

Lastly, subweapons are gone. Well, sort of. You can't get the traditional ones (well, you can find them, but they're just collectibles. Yeah, I don't know either. I picked up an axe and then couldn't use it, really intuitive). Instead, after beating a stage you get a magic, which you can then switch to as it is added to your arsenal. This is actually a decent idea (allowing you to switch up magics on the fly), but it means the first few levels are super-boring as you only have one (or none) subabilities. Cool in concept, bad in execution, like the majority of this game.

All together, the gameplay in Legends is a massive letdown after Belmont's Revenge. I appreciate the attempt to add more branching pathways and change the subweapon system, but everything just seems like a misstep. Tacked onto boring enemy placement, levels that have dead ends and backtracking, and super easy bosses, and you're looking at a subpar Castlevania experience.

Plus...the graphics. Just...ugh.

Castlevania: Legends looks bad. I honestly think it looks worse than The Adventure, which is the nicest thing The Adventure has had said about it since it was released. Everything is super thin but with a black outline, which leaves little room for any detail. Enemies have awful animations (especially after how good they were in Belmont's Revenge) and next to no detail. The backgrounds are sparse, especially when compared to the previous Game Boy games, with mostly just plain white rather than any detail. With the exception of the status bar on the bottom (where the slightly shaded health bar actually looks nice), Legends looks atrocious.

It also sounds really bad. While I appreciate some of the classic tunes showing up here, they seem bit-crunched to death when translated to the Game Boy's hardware. While Belmont's Revenge and even The Adventure managed to make do with the system's limitations, Legends seems like they just didn't care and shoved the songs in without even listening to them themselves.

I got Bloody Tears just listening to this. Ha ha ha! Urrrrgh...

I am now faced with a once-in-a-lifetime extremely difficult decision, a reverse Sophie's Choice if you will. I've been wrestling with this for a few days now, and I feel no closer to reaching a conclusion. Basically, the question is this: is Castlevania Legends worse than Castlevania: The Adventure, the same, or a little better? Believe it or not, this is actually where we're at right now. At least Castlevania: The Adventure isn't rare, so eBay carts are in the sub $10 range. Legends is now a "collector's item," which means you'd have to pay $60+ to get an actual Game Boy cartridge. That's just...insult to injury right there.

All in all, I'd probably give Castlevania: Legends a one and a half star rating, but we don't do half stars here. So because I liked the cutscenes (and the gameplay was too easy rather than Game Boy-throwing furious [with the exception of the trap rooms]), I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt and round up. I still highly, highly suggest avoiding it unless you are some sort of collector. Besides, the entire plot of this game got removed from the canon when Castlevania: Lament of Innocence came out on the PS2, making what little relevance Legacy had evaporate. You could say it's Legacy was...not having a legacy.

Yeah, that joke could have probably used some work (much like Legends! Ha! Ok, I'll stop).

Two out of five stars. 

Sorry Sofia, your good Castlevania game is in another castle.

Master of Darkness

The Short

Pros

- Solid Castlevania ripoff on the Sega Master System (and Game Gear)

- Excellent music

- Large arsenal of weapons and sub-weapons

- Graphics look fantastically spooky, with some good animations

- The whole "Jack the Ripper Era England" time setting is woefully underused; glad to see it here

- "House of Wax" level is both creepy and inventive

- Gameplay is tight and controls are very responsive

Cons

- Pretty easy compared to Castlevania

- Sometimes dropped items downgrade your weapon. For shame!

- Level designs are a bit bland

- A bit obvious in its Castlevania pandering

- It can be hard to walk down on stairs for some reason

- Only five areas each with three stages each (15 levels total)

- SMS version only released in Europe! What's up with that?

Are you getting a familiar vibe?

The Long

You may have noticed a theme these past few reviews, the theme being Castlevania. Lots and lots of Castlevania. So why is this weird game showing up here? Well, because the Sega Master System (a system woefully underrepresented in my lexicon of game reviews) never got a proper Castlevania game, but it did in fact get this thing...Master of Darkness (also known as Vampire: Master of Darkness for the US Game Gear release). It's about as shameful a copy as you can get, but despite it's obvious...uh...let's say "inspiration" from the famous gothic platforming series, Master of Darkness still does some pretty cool things all its own, and is one of the best games on the Master System.

Too bad you have to import it (the SMS version was Europe only! Thanks Obama! Or wait, 1992...thanks...George Bush Sr? Bill Clinton?)

This looks really familiar.

Murder is afoot in ye olde England. Bodies have been turning up dead, and it's up to you, a stalwart gentleman and enforcer of the law (or something) to get out your cane and beat the ever loving crap out of the homeless. Or...zombies, I think they're zombies. But there's for sure guys with guns that you pummel to death in this game, which is fantastic.

What is cool about Master of Darkness is it actually tries to have a sort of thematic story. The first boss is Jack the Ripper (like, the actual one) who you find out is in league with Dracula to be all evil and stuff. At the start and end of each stage you get some cool text and graphics explaining where the story is going, which is more than any of the early Castlevania games gave you.

I also really dig the setting. If you liked Bloodborne or Dishonored, this is the same time period. The industrial revolution is just kicking off, and the streets are full of rats and apparently gross monsters. Did I mention the first weapon you get is a cane that you use to beat ghosts to death with? This is pretty much my dream game.

A duel it is, fine sir!

Gameplay-wise, Master of Darkness is Castlevania. You have monsters that move slowly, bats that fly, etc. There are stairs that suck to walk up and down on. You don't have as delayed attack as the whip with most weapons, but larger ones (the sword) do have a brief wind-up. Actually, let's talk about the weapons, because it's actually something Master of Darkness does that's different and cool.

Hitting floating white masks (which I guess are the "candle" equiviliant in this game) will drop powerups. Unlike Simon, who was tied to just an upgradable whip, our hero here can pick up a wide assortment of weapons. You start with a crappy knife (which is the only one that I feel is just bad all the time). You can get a dapper cane (fast, medium range, medium damage) a sword (slower, longer range, medium damage) and...a hand axe (short range, maximum damage). Yeah, the axe didn't really fit the theme, but whatever. You can swap whenever you find another powerup, but the game likes to be a jerk and drop the knife from time to time, so be careful to not pick it up.

You also have subweapons, though there's only three. Here, there are no "hearts," weapons just come pre-equipped with a set amount of ammo. You have a gun, which is basically the "knife," bombs (the "axe"), and the boomerang. The boomerang is supposed to be the cross, except unlike the cross it doesn't pierce (it just goes away on impact) making it substantially worse. Of all these, the bomb is really the only useful one, particularly against the final boss. Can you guess how you use subweapons? If you said "Up + attack," you know how video games work.

It ain't London if someone isn't getting gruesomely murdered.

The gameplay itself is pretty straightforward. There's five stages, each with three levels. After each level your health is restored (making this easier than Castlevania) and the last stage is always a boss. Bosses are actually pretty easy...truthfully, this whole game is a lot easier than Castlevania, but that's ok. The locations you go to are all pretty cool. My favorite is stage two, a wax museum, where frequently some of the wax dummies in the background come to life and attack you. That's a neat idea!

Oh yeah, there's also a clock tower level, because "Castlevania did it." It even has swinging pendulums you jump on. Really.

SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS.

I guess the question is: is this game as good as Castlevania? To that I say, "not really." It doesn't have that difficulty factor, nor the super deliberate level design that set the best of the series apart from other platformers. That being said, Master of Darkness is still a ton of fun to play, even for a straight ripoff. The controls are responsive and tight (even if stairs still suck), there's lots of creepy enemies and themeing, and it's a bit easier for those who thought Castlevania was a little too rough.

Point being? It's one of the best platformers on the Master System, and certainly a great 8-bit platformer in genera. If you liked Castlevania, you'll feel right at home here, and probably enjoy the differences they stuck in.

Plus, you know, spikes n' stuff.

Graphically, I think this game looks fantastic. I've always enjoyed the way Master System games look, kind of a weird combination between MSDos games and NES games, though usually more colorful. I particularly like the England-cityscape backgrounds and the gritty look of the whole world. It's a great looking game on Sega's 8-bit system.

Sound effects are a little...drab. The getting hit sound is pathetic, though I do appreciate the good "thwack" sound when you beat a zombie to death with your cane. Music, on the other hand, is excellent throughout. While the first stage's song does get a little repetitive, it evokes the similar creepy feel that Castlevania games do. It's not quite as good as Castlevania's iconic tunes, but it comes pretty damn close.

As it stands, it's a crying shame we here in the west didn't get this game on our Master Systems. It's one of the coolest games on the systems, and a solid Castlevania knockoff with some great tricks of its own. We did get the Game Gear port, which is essentially the exact same game just with a slightly smaller field of view (the Game Gear and the Master System were almost identical tech, just one was a handheld), so it is possible to play the game without importing or emulators. However, if you can pony up the cash to import the PAL version (it'll play on an American Master System), I'd say it's totally worth getting if you're a collector.

Master of Darkness surprised me. I went in expecting a bland Castlevania knockoff, and left with it secured as one of my favorite 8-bit platformers. Few flaws notwithstanding (and honestly most of the flaws are borrowed from its source material), Master of Darkness is a great vampire-murdering replacement for those without NES system, at least until the Genesis came out and they got the best 16-bit Castlevania. 

Plus, I beat Jack the Ripper to death with a cane in an alleyway. Best game ever.

Four out of five stars. 

Suck it, Jack. Though I do like your stylish purple attire.

Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge

The Short

Pros

- A *gasp* good Game Boy Castlevania game?

- Takes elements from the craptastic previous game and makes them actually...good

- Some genuinely cool platforming ideas within the Castlevania universe

- World selection aped straight from Mega Man 

- Kick-ass music

- Looks fantastic

- Getting hit doesn't downgrade your weapon (unless getting hit by very specific enemies)

- Not just a good Castlevania handheld game, but a good Castlevania game in general

Cons

- Calling it Castlevania II is a great way for me to think it's Simon's Quest

- The last three bosses can be pretty cheap

- Level design isn't quite as good as the NES/Genesis offerings

- Password system instead of save, but that's better than nothing

- Controls are still a bit ridged at times

Belmont is back, and he's PISSED

The Long

Holy cow guys, I don't know if it's like...weird gaming rebound because I just came off the worst Castlevania experience in my life or what, but Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge is...good? Like...a good Game Boy Castlevania game? It exists? Whaaaaaaaa

Ok, sorry, getting a bit ahead of myself.

My expectations were pretty much dashed after playing Castlevania: The Adventure. I knew already that the Game Boy was an inferior piece of hardware compared to the NES, but I hadn't expected the translation of a classic franchise to have gone so poorly. And if Castlevania Legends  is any indication (cough spoilers for a future review cough), making a good, Castlevania-esque platformer on Nintendo's handheld proved a larger challenge than some expected. I went into Belmont's Revenge fully expecting crap...or maybe even something similar to Simon's Quest (seeing as they share a name).

Guess what? I was pleasantly surprised, so much so that I'd say Belmont's Revenge is one of the best platformers on the system. Yeah. It's pretty solid.

Plus it has MONKEY SKELETONS.

There is actual plot this time. Kind of. Christopher Belmont (the guy from the first game) is back, and his son has been nabbed by Dracula. Or joined Dracula. Or something. I'm not totally sure, there isn't exactly a lot of text in this game. But you're here for revenge, cause it's in the title. So off you head to four different castles named after different...elements? Well, the manual said elements, but I don't remember "Crystal" or "Plants" being elements.

The game here takes a page from Mega Man, allowing you to tackle any of the four castles in whatever order you choose. It doesn't really matter (you don't get any power-ups or anything from beating them), and after beating all four you have two final stages followed by the Dracula boss fight. Pretty standard Game Boy platformer stuff.

Insert "Rockman" pun here

Right off the bat you'll notice Christopher controls much better. Most annoyances from the first game have been fixed: his jump is a bit further, he auto-grabs ropes by just being near them (a fantastic addition), and gravity doesn't fluctuate randomly. Even better, when he powers up his weapon he retains the powerups even when hit, unless hit by a very specific enemy (and it gives a sound-cue letting you know). So far, so good.

I was originally dismayed, because Belmont's Revenge features tons of the same elements from the first game. Ropes still play a prominent part, as do vertically oriented sections. Enemies too, like the bouncy-ball spitters and sickle-throwers, have been kept over. But my dismay quickly turned to delight as I realized how much better things were this go around.

The game has been better adjusted to fit both Christopher's gimped jump as well as the Game Boy's capabilities. While some areas are continuous scrolling, most castles have each room be a self-contained challenge, and leaving it tosses you into another one. It's a smart use of the screen's limited real estate, and with better designed rooms leads to some really cool challenges.

This room would be hell in the first game. This time around, it's a blast.

Belmont's Revenge uses ropes in interesting ways. In the image above, the pairs of ropes switch directions (up vs down) every couple of seconds, leading to some interesting jumping challenges. Later it mixes it up by having these with enemies coming at you, but never enough to be impossible (no Medusa heads). The new grab and jump mechanics make this challenging but quite fun.

Another cool rope trick is spiders. Now, when spiders come from the ceiling, you can grab their threads and use them for platforms. Kill them, however, and the thread will end. You have to be smart as to which spiders to kill and which to use, again leading to some really fun platforming.

Explody Eyeball Bridge is also back, but actually fun.

It isn't just ropes, though. Something the original game had was horizontal spike stakes that would come out of the walls. You'd have to use them as platforms to escape a room, but the game gave no indication when they'd stick out or retract. It became a case of trial and error, and was exceptionally frustrating. Belmont's Revenge fixes this with a simple design decision: the spikes flash just before they move. Such a simple thing, but it makes the room more about skill rather than dumb luck. Smart.

That isn't to say these changes make the game easier. In fact, Belmont's Revenge is quite tricky, though not nearly on par with Castlevania III: Dracula's Day Out. In particular, the final three bosses are super difficult, requiring some pattern memorization as well as quick reflexes. The final fight with Dracula is also very hard, though he only has one form this time around.

Drac's back, in the same room as last time.

You may note in the screenshots, but subweapons are back! Sort of! There's only two this time, the axe and the water, and they act exactly as they did in the rest of the series. Here's a Nathan Protip: Use the axe, ditch the water. Axe is so, so useful throughout. The exception is the second to last boss, where the water is actually better. But I swear Dracula is impossible if you don't have the axe, he's so hard.

So...yeah. While it isn't quite as tight as earlier Castlevania games, Belmont's Revenge's gameplay and design work exceptionally well given the limitations of the hardware. It's challenging, but really fun. My only major complaint is the four castles (which have branching paths, btw, which is also cool) are a bit long for a handheld experience. Nothing awful (and I'm glad for more content), they just seem to take a while. You still get ~2-3 hours of gameplay out of it, though (depending on how good you are), which is pretty dang good for a Game Boy platformer.

Like, you can beat Kirby's Dreamland in 30 minutes. Also, this boss is cheap.

Graphically, this game looks fantastic. The enemies have better death animations, with the eyeballs particularly having some 60 frames per second explosions that look great. The backgrounds (which were the one good thing about Castlevania: The Adventure) are even better this time around, and even though there aren't a lot of different enemies they all look great, especially the bosses.

When I first booted up the game and played Crystal Castle, my ears nearly exploded for joy. Ok, not really, that would be excruciatingly painful. But hot damn, this game has some rocking tunes. Seriously some of the best on the system, I have no idea how they made it work given the Game Boy's somewhat tinny sound chip. Really worthy of the series' legacy.

Seriously like...holy crap. LISTEN TO IT. 

Point being: Castlevania II: Not Simon's Quest, but Actually (Christopher) Belmont's Revenge is a phenomenal Game Boy game, and a really solid Castlevania game. Is it as good as the greats, like the original, Super, or Bloodlines? Well...not quite. But I will say I'd rather pick it up again than, say, Castlevania III. Or The Adventure. But I'd rather take a long dive off a short pier than play The Adventure again, so that isn't really fair.

I'm genuinely sad that I didn't have this game when I had a Game Boy growing up. It's a fantastic platformer and should be part of any Game Boy collector's collection.

I'd also like to point out that Castlevania: The Adventure is available on the 3DS eShop, but Belmont's Revenge isn't. If that isn't proof that Konami hates their fans, I don't know what is.

Oh wait. Yeah...

Four out of five stars.

When I'm comin' home, son, I don't know when, but we'll kill Dracula then, son, I know we'll have a good time then.