Guilty Gear X2 #Reload

The Short


Pros
- The absolute best version of the X/XX iterations of Guilty Gear (it would be changed in Slash following)
- Insane roster of 22 characters plus 2 unlockable ones
- Improved controls make Dust attacks as well as specials easier to pull off
- Visuals look incredible
- Game has a massive amount of content, including a survival mode, challenge missions, story modes for each character, and more
- Combos and ariels are still fun and make the game quite accessible
- Thankfully it's one of the many backwards compatible games for Xbox 360.

Cons
- Movesets, while extremely similar, are a bit more tricky than in the original Guilty Gear X
- Online play, which was the main improvement of #Reload over the PS2 version, is gone since Microsoft cut orignal Xbox Live servers
- No widescreen support hurts
- Voices, while thankfully in the original Japanese, seem much more chatty and obnoxious than previous installments
- Xbox controller sucks at fighting games. Mostly because that d-pad is absolute garbage, especially on the 360.
- Still is, at its core, the same game as Guilty Gear X

Heaven or Hell: Let's Rock! Again!

The Long

First off, let me point out the actual full title of this game (according to the box) is Guilty Gear X2: The Midnight Carnival #Reload. Ho-ly piss. Great name, guys. No, seriously, good work on that. Rolls right off the tongue. 

Anyway, stupid name aside, Guilty Gear X2 #Reload (am I seriously going to type that every single time?) is the final tweaking of the game Arc Systems made way the crap back for the Dreamcast (and that, in turn, was an updated version of an arcade/PS1 game). It certainly has the fighting game syndrome down of releasing the same game over and over with minimal incremental update. Haven't these guys heard of patches? DLC?

This all doesn't matter anyway, because #Reload is an absolutely killer fighting game, and in my opinion the very best in the Guilty Gear franchise. So let's get on with it, shall we? 

The game still looks good to this day, even at 480p. 

I already reviewed Guilty Gear X, so if you haven't read that you should probably check it out. If you are too lazy then here's the sum up: Guilty Gear is an excellent series if you are just starting to get into fighting games, as it's advanced mechanics are very accessible and the game itself is flashy and fun and has some absolutely crazy characters. There, I summed the whole thing up. Why do I even bother writing the long reviews? That's a good question.

So what is different between Guilty Gear X and #Reload? Well...not a whole lot, but still enough to look at. First off, the character roster has improved significantly. A total of twenty-two crazies now join the fray, including two secret boss characters that have to be unlocked. All the originals from the original Guilty Gear X are here, and the new ones are just as insane as the previous ones. And yes, this game has the infamous Bridget, the boy raised as a girl nun who fights with a yo-yo. Because Japan.

Yeah, that's a dude. But the nuttier part is he isn't even the weirdest character in the game. 

The new characters are a blast to play, though I found most of them to be more "advanced" in terms of movesets. While the originals play almost exactly the same, the newcomers employ tricker strategies that took a while to get accustomed to. Still, it's good to have more characters, and the immaculate balance of these games (despite the moves being absolutely crazy) means you have nobody to blame but yourself if you die.

On the subject of advanced moves, it's worth noting that many previous moves have been somewhat "bumped up" in difficulty from Guilty Gear X. It's mostly small stuff, like quarter-circle specials being replaced by half-circle ones for a few characters. Nothing major, just worth noting. On the other side, Dust attacks are much easier to pull off, and the window to chain regular combos together (you have to press the next attack button just as the previous one hits) seems to be much easier. Oh, and this is one of those rare instances that the manual is actually in full color and has a complete moveset for every character. Man, I really miss manuals. 

"Puny god."

In addition to the new roster, an absolute insane amount of extra content is here. Aside from the usual pictures you can unlock by playing the game enough, every character has their own "Story" mode (with branching paths and different endings) in addition to the regular "Arcade" mode. There's a staggering number of challenges as well (100!) to test your ability to pull off certain moves quickly and under difficult situations, and the "M.O.M." and "Survival" modes are both variations on the idea of fighting as many characters in rapid succession while on the same health bar. This is also in addition to the usual two player vs mode and a variety of sound options, including sound-test for every song and sound effect in the game. Loads of content here if you are into that.

On the down side, #Reload's main feature over the PS2 release of X2 - Xbox Live play - is no longer available due to Microsoft cutting the servers a few years back. Meaning there is literally no way in this day and age to play against somebody over the internet with a Guilty Gear game. Wait, maybe my Dreamcast can still connect, via dialup! There's hope yet!

This game has some crazy finishers. 

At it's core, however, this game is about sitting on the couch with a group of friends and handing it off as you beat the crap out of each other. As I've said before, #Reload is like the original Guilty Gear X: very available for new players. It's much easier to get enemies in the air on this one, as well as countering and breaking out of guards. It's a fun rush that's weird but still frantic, and as such makes for a great time with a group of buddies.

The only downside is that the Xbox controller is the worst controller ever for fighting games, in my opinion. It does have the option to turn on the analog stick over the d-pad (WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!), but it still doesn't help that the controller just sort of sucks. Fightpads? Yes. Or find a way to hook my Dreamcast controller into my 360. 

This game is still so very, very peculiar. 

The game is still drop-dead beautiful, even at the low resolution of 480p. Character sprites are hand-drawn and masterfully detailed, with animations and effects smooth and flashy. It still looks fantastic even today (and even next to the future released BlazBlue from the same company), though the lack of widescreen support is a big bummer. Come on, Banjo-Tooie on the freaking N64 supported widescreen, why can't these guys get with the program?

Most of the music is recycled from previous home console releases, with a few new tracks for new characters. There is voice-over for all story segments and frequently in battle. While I'm glad it's in Japanese instead of being butchered by some low-rent English voice actors, the yells and grunts get really repetitive, and the characters just seem way more chatty in this game than previous installments. Regardless, you can turn the voices down if they really bug you that much. 

A guy being possessed/groped by the girl from The Ring? Sure, why not? 

Ultimately, if you liked any of the past Guilty Gear games, pick this sucker up (either this version or the PS2 release, though I'd preference #Reload). If you have yet to dive into the series, this is probably the one you should test out. It's absurdly cheap (it was released at a budget price of $20, and currently goes for about $6-7 on Amazon) and an total blast. After playing it for only a few hours I was convinced that it could very well be my most favorite fighting game ever. Yeah, I'm really digging it.

It's sloppy, tricky, and (if I haven't mentioned it enough) weird, but I think it's safe to say there really isn't any other fighter like it. 

Five out of five stars. 

And hey, the music still rocks, too. 

Half-Life 2

The Short


Pros
- Excellent first-person shooter with unique weapons, story, and setting
- Lots of variety helps mix up the shooting with other sections
- Years ahead of its time graphically. Game can still be knocked up to some crazy settings on modern machines.
- Voice acting and story are superb and entertaining throughout
- Universe/world is compelling and leaves you wanting more
- Physics engine is still impressive to this day
- Gravity gun is still one of the funnest toys in gaming
- While Half-Life completely reinvented how FPS games are viewed, Half-Life 2 did the same thing for modern shooters

Cons
- Game feels a bit long
- Any vehicle segment feels tacked on, has clunky controls, and just straight up isn't fun
- You pack such an arsenal the game isn't very hard by the time you hit the second half
- Not a lot of enemy variety or boss battles
- While it is still a landmark game, it was completely dwarfed by its own episodic sequels and many modern FPSes (Bioshock comes to mind)

Time to tackle what many people feel is the best PC game ever made. 

The Long

Half-Life was a groundbreaking game for the industry. Where FPS games had become tournament style deathmatches with little in terms of goals or story, Half-Life completely turned all this on its head. It released a game that valued its setting and characters as much as it did its shooting, starting off slowly to build a scene before letting everything go to hell. It pioneered the "corridor shooter" or "setpiece shooter," where triggered events in the world gave a distinct sense of progression while still telling a story and providing a hefty dose of spectacle. I still remember getting a Sierra-On-Line fan magazine at the time and Half-Life being the upcoming game featured. I thought it looked pretty awesome, having no idea the impact it would have. 

Six years later in 2004, Half-Life 2 finally came out. It had truckloads of hype behind it. From the publicity when their source code was stolen to the fact the game had been delayed constantly and that it was tied to Valve's new "Steam" platform in order to operate, Half-Life 2 had a lot to live up to. And guess what: it pulled it out in spades. Where Half-Life proved that FPS games could be more than just tournament shooters, Half-Life 2 bumped that up a notch. With great shooting, impressive physics and graphics, and excellent storytelling (especially for a shooter), it pushed the industry forward and helped shape the way FPS games are made all the way to this day. Games like Call of Duty and Halo are still playing catch-up with Half-Life 2, and if anything that really goes to show how far ahead of it's time this game was.

But it isn't perfect. Which I will get to shortly. 

The engine still looks pretty dang good, even today. 

Half-Life 2 picks up several years after Half-Life ended, and in such a strange way some people (myself included) might find it hard to pinpoint the connection between the two games. Since unleashing a portal to space/hell in Half-Life, the world has been overtaken by a race of alien called the Combine who have enslaved humanity for relatively unknown means. One of Gordon Freeman's old associates (Breen) acts as overlord and slave to the Combine, and you simply appear on a train in City 17 (just another enslaved city) before heading off on your adventure to free mankind.

The details of the story are convoluted, though I appreciate the attempt to make this universe large and interesting. What really draws you in are the characters and the excellent pacing (at least at the start). The game does a lot to draw you into the atmosphere of this bleak, crappy future, and the excellently voiced and animated characters only help push this forward. While the details of mankind's enslavement, the status of humanity, and plenty of other important tidbits are relatively hidden under the convoluted storyline, what you are given is presented so well it is easy to overlook the fact that the main story is kind of... nonexistent. 

One big problem I had with the story, however, is how it seems to come in spurts. In the beginning, where it has a good blend of talking, atmospheric setting, and action, the game feels very well paced. Unfortunately, it then decides to just drop you off in the middle of nowhere with a crowbar, leading to several hours of no interaction with other people at all. Since Gordon Freeman is mute all the time (which is also sort of annoying with regard to trying to have a character someone can relate to and interact with the plot) these bouts alone are pretty much void of all story. Then you hit a landmark, get fed a ton more story, and are sent off alone again. While the atmosphere makes up for a lot (and the final act manages to have a good deal of plot), I can't help but think the pacing is a bit off once you leave City 17. 

Luckily the shooting is good enough to keep you entertained. 

Where Half-Life 2 shines is the setpieces it puts you into, even if they aren't particularly story related. Ravenholm is regarded as the prime example: a city overrun with headcrab zombies and half the city burning down and corpses piled up set the mood. But, unfortunately, these absolutely incredible setpieces seem to be padded on either side by a lot of bland, generic areas with the same enemies. Yes, it's awesome to go to some really cool places, to drive up the coast, to use antlions to murder a bunch of dudes and clear out a base. But then it's back to running around in sewers shooting the same enemies over and over, performing some bad first-person jumping puzzles or having to move crates about in silly physics puzzles that make no sense in the actual world. I get it: you made an awesome physics engine, and the Gravity Gun is totally sweet. But that doesn't mean 90% of the puzzles need to involve moving stuff around to make your physics work.

So you have a lot of really good setpieces mixed with some boring segments. Gee, sounds like every shooter to follow Half-Life 2 just does the exact same thing. Well...yep, that would be accurate. Again, keep in mind that these little side-adventures are really good. Shooting down spaceships in real time and watching them crash into things (also in real time) and the physics just going crazy and being realistic is totally nuts, especially considering when this game came out. There's just...the pacing is so off here. And I like the shooting and all, it just feels like the lulls go on for too long, and a good portion of the game ignores other shooters that had come out since then. Keep in mind: Half-Life 2 came out after Halo 2 (maybe just a few days after, but a good deal past Halo: Combat Evolved). While Half-Life 2 certainly pantsed Halo on the physics side, Halo 2 did the exact same setpiece bits but kept it interesting throughout. Again: I'm not saying Halo 2 is better than Half-Life 2, and it certainly wasn't as influential, but when you put the two games next to each other as straight shooters, Halo 2 often comes off as being funner and faster paced (and has included multiplayer, which Half-Life 2 did not). 

Alyx Vance: Winning nerds' hearts since 2004

There are plenty of other problems to be found here. The game often requires you to get behind a vehicle, which straight up sucks. Vehicles control decently and are fun to drive for the first 10-15 minutes, but some of these segments involve driving them around for hours, getting out and shooting stuff or doing a physics puzzle (or worse: doing a physics puzzles in the vehicle) and then driving around some more. The boat section especially, while having some totally awesome chase sequences at the beginning (where they drop mines as you are skimming through an aquaduct and they are air-dropping guys you then squish) is fantastic. But then it drags on, back into that "in-between" time padding around cool scenes, and it gets tedious. Same with the car/buggy thing you drive around the coast. You do some crazy stuff on it, but it is padded by so much boring driving and having to get out, shoot some guys and do some really bad first person jumping (whoever decided that bridge climbing/traversing part should stay in the game should be punched) and then it's back in the car. For the time, yeah I'll give it to Half-Life 2 because it made a game that was long and relatively engaging all the way through, and the crazy physics did provide some fun in the downtime. But still...this is just bad game pacing. It's like they had a 5 hour game and they felt the need to stretch it out much longer because of what the fans wanted. I think the Half-Life 2 episodes only prove that Half-Life 2 works best in small, concise and well-planned chunks. Half-Life 2 feels bloated.

The opening segments are still extremely powerful, though. 

I feel the need to stop here and lay down this disclaimer: I really like Half-Life 2. I was blown away when it came out, and replaying it recently I found I still enjoyed the adventure. I just feel that, looking back, we really cut this game a lot of slack for a myriad of problems. I will never deny how influential it was on shooters and how it pretty much shaped how shooters are made to this day, but just because something inspired greatness doesn't mean it itself is immune to criticism (see: Goldeneye 64). Half-Life 2 really hasn't aged well in the gameplay and pacing departments, people. That's all I'm trying to say here.

This game still looks fantastic. 

The graphics and sound effects, however, have aged extremely well. It's a testament to Valve's Source engine that it was capable of processing and running on higher resolutions and setting than were available at the time of release, kind of like how Crysis was made for systems that hadn't come out yet. The difference between Half-Life 2 and Crysis is that the Source engine is much more versatile. Have a crappy 766 MHz machine with 512 MB of ram and a 128 MB ATI video card (these were the specs of my machine when the game first came out)? Bump down the settings and it'll run. Have a modern Mac Mini with a duel-core processor, a decent video card and 8 GB of RAM? Crank those graphics up and see how well everything still looks. It's been eight years since this game came out, and it still looks really good on powerful machines, and even on the Xbox 360 release of The Orange Box. Which is also probably why Valve still uses the Source engine, even for their modern games like Portal 2.

Voice acting, when it happens, is all excellent. The sound effects are also fantastic, with the screams of the headcrab zombies (a mixture of violent howling and cries of pain) still being horrifying enough to get a jump out of me whenever I hear it. When it comes down to the little things, Valve tends to succeed, and it does good at making Half-Life 2 still relevant even all these years later. 

I still hate you, hover-water-bike-thing. But I'll be damned if that water doesn't look incredible. 

So...the final verdict? Half-Life 2 is still decent, and is certainly worth playing if you haven't yet. If you have you probably have rose-tinted nostalgia glasses and will hate me ripping into it, but hey...the truth hurts. As I said before, the Episodes following this game pretty much put it completely to shame (even if the long-delayed release of Episode 3 has become pretty much a joke at this point), condensing the better bits of the game into short, manageable sections. While it still is an excellent single-player shooter that is an exciting adventure and has some really cool story bits, the excessive padding and vehicle segments really get under my skin. It just goes to prove that laying the groundwork for bigger and better things is still important, but it doesn't mean you did everything right the first time. 

Three out of five stars. 

You are awesome, Half-Life 2. You are just starting to show your age. 

Fable

The Short


Pros
- Excellent RPG taking you from boy to man in the shoes of a Hero
- Spec out three separate spheres - magic, ranged, and melee - based on how you use them
- Moral choices and freedom let you shape your character and the world
- Tons of options available, from tattoos to hairstyles to clothing and armor
- Action-RPG combat system that has a surprisingly decent melee and a fun ranged system
- Game looks great, sounds great, and really sucks you in

Cons
- Doesn't fulfill even a sliver of the promises made by Peter Molyneux, aka the biggest gaming liar ever
- Despite having tons of depth, all of your character interactions are stale and shallow
- Story is stupid nonsense with a bland payoff
- Load times are so, so so so long.
- Lots of little dumb problems that probably sounded like good ideas on paper get annoying quick
- Really easy
- Magic sucks except Time Slow, which is overpowered insanity
- Can't play as a girl
- Where my acorn, Molyneux? WHERE'S MY ACORN?

Off on an adventure (all screenshots from the PC version)

The Long

Believe it or not, there was once a time I didn't waste my days submerged in video game news and information, and because of this I missed all the hype spouted by Peter Molyneux about this game until after the fact. I remember my roommate and neighbors at the time were super excited about this game coming out on Xbox my freshman year of college, and I have no idea what they were talking about. When the game finally did show up, some were disappointed, some were elated, and some didn't care. I gave the game a run-through on my roommate's Xbox and guess what? Having literally no idea what this game was and with no expectations, I loved the crap out of it. Fable is a game series that has always done well in immersing you into a massive, sprawling world that you feel you are really a part of. But while the sequels kept trying to capture the magic of the original while piling on more and more of Molyneux's broken promises, I still feel the very first Fable is the best game in the series, and a must for any action RPG fan to play. And here is why. 

First, you can look like this! 

Fable's story is nothing to write home about. Essentially "Hogwarts, but replace 'wizards and witches' with 'heroes,'" Fable stars YOU! Yes, YOU! A young hero boy, who only wanted to buy his sister a nice present before douchebag bandits showed up and murdered everybody! Luckily some hero wizard guy shows up and, rather than showing up ten seconds earlier and saving everybody, he shows up later and says "tough deal about your family. But YOU'RE A WIZARD, HARRY!" and off you go to Albion's School of Heroism and Really Big Swords. Where you know it's racially diverse because there are two black people in the whole world. But that isn't the point.

Anyway, there's some story arc revolving around your mom and sister still being alive, and Jack of Blades being a big bad...person for some reason and you have to kill him before he ruins Hogwarts, and...ok, the story is stupid. Luckily for you, the little side stories (and all the voice work) is excellently done so you'll have a much funner time just running around messing with people than doing the actual story. It's weak, unmemorable, but also isn't particularly important for games like these (where you are supposed to be telling your own story), so I'll give it a C- but let it pass the class. This time. 

And here is the headmaster, Dumb...er, Bumblebore!

The story is just a setting to say: "You have to help people, or you can be a massive jerk to them, or both. Also: magic." The actual game in Fable is pretty simple. You have three schools of combat to work with: physical (being melee), agility (being shooting stuff with bows), and magic (being...magic). What is cool about how this system works is that every time you kill an enemy you get both general XP as well as a bonus XP based on how you killed them. If you bashed them a lot with a sword you get red Physical XP, shot them a lot you get yellow Agility XP, etc. General XP can be spent anywhere, while the specialized have to be used in their specific tree. Meaning the more you use one type of sphere, the better you get at it, though it's still easy to multi-class as you just have to start using a sword more to get XP for that specific area. It's something Oblivion did like crap and Skyrim did really well, so it's good to see Fable streamlining it to a point that it works almost perfectly (even if it is a bit too easy).

But aside from that, the real fun in Fable comes from the simple idea of just messing around and making your person exactly the way you want to. Fable was one of the first games of recent generations to really push the whole "Morality System" thing that now stinks up every game that seems to come out, though it did so in such a comical and over-blown way that I'm willing to forgive Fable for starting this trend. Basically you have a bunch of options in Fable. Want to give money to people and be their friends? You can do that. Want to murder everybody in town and steal all their stuff? You can do that too. Want to sacrifice people to some demi-god of darkness and get the best bow way early in the game? Do it. Want to be a pansy nice guy and donate all your hard-earned money to charity? You can do that too. The point is that everything you do adds either good or evil points to a slider, and where that slider stands can influence many aspects of the game.

Oh crap, I forgot to talk about combat. We'll get to it.

Be really good and people will love you, you'll glow with inward goodness, have a halo, and butterflies will flutter around your pristine hairline. If you are evil you'll bald, giant horns will pop out of your head, your eyes will burn red, flies will buzz around you, and the ground beneath your feet will burn. So yeah, pretty stark contrast. It honestly doesn't do much aside from make you look weird (and have people run away from you); the overarching "story" doesn't have any influence and nobody seems to care if you are evil or not except nondescript NPCs, but it's a nice artistic touch.

Anyway, let's go back to the combat, which is actually pretty simple. Melee is usually just button mashing, though if enemies block you can instigate a guard-block break move when you combo enough (also a knockdown move) to keep it busy. Archery requires you to pull the bow back (the time of which can be decreased with level-ups) and then fire for maximum damage. And magic...well, it sucks, to be honest. It's never particularly powerful and most spells are useless, except Time Slow, which is the biggest hack in the world. So just learn that one. 

Combat is extremely easy, especially if you play an archer and know where to get the best bow in the game on like the third mission. There's also no penalty to wearing heavy armor vs light robes, meaning you should always wear heavy armor all the time. There's also no real stealth in this game, which is too bad, since I wanted to make a ninja. Basically the combat is fun but not particularly challenging, and if you stock up enough on potions you'll make it through the whole game without dying. 

You can augment weapons with certain runes, ala Diablo II 

Back to the random crap: there's lots to do. Getting married, buying shops, cutting your hair, getting tattoos, getting scars if you suck at fighting and take a lot of hits, doing random quests; the list goes on. What actually matters is this: I felt immersed in the world. Yes, it's really just a string of different areas linked together with awful load times, and yes it is actually a very limiting world once you dig deep (again, no stealth system, etc.) but I didn't care. I got connected to my character in ways few games do. Being able to provide so many levels of customization made me attached, and the fact that the camera stays close behind helped me always keep an eye on him. I wanted him to be the most evil bastard Albion had ever seen, and I dressed him accordingly and slaughtered everybody with awesomeness. I really felt like I made the guy I wanted to make for the first time in any video game, and it was an experience.

And you stab lots of guys

I could go on, but I think I covered it enough for now. The point is thus: Fable is a fine game if you go in with moderate expectations. Is it flawed? Yes. Did it totally fail to live up to the expectations? Yes. But as a game it's fun, quick, and sucks you into its world. Which is more than enough for me.

Graphically this game looks really good on both original Xbox and especially good on PC, even now. The game is colorful and flashy, with character models that have a cartoony British flare that has since become a theme of the series. Sounds are also fantastic, with excellent voice acting all around, though I wish your character spoke some time. 

Now go forth and fish!

I can't say much for where this series went - Fable II was ok and Fable III was an abomination - but I still have a good deal of fondness for Fable. Something about it really resonates with me (and most of my friends, based on their opinions) so much so that I'll go back and replay it every couple of years. If you enjoy action RPGs where you "forge your own destiny," than you really owe it to yourself to check out Fable. Though if you do be sure and grab Fable: The Lost Chapters; it has an expanded ending as well as some more weapons. 

And while I still say it's flawed, I really think everybody should play Fable. There's something in it for everyone.

Five out of five stars. 

Yay for Fable!

Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones

The Short


Pros
- Still the same extremely solid platforming from the first two games of the series
- Setting of the ruined city of Babylon is unique and makes for some fun areas to traverse
- "Dark" tone from Warrior Within has been diminished substantially. Thank goodness.
- Mixes things up with the "Dark Prince" gameplay segments and combat
- "Quick kills" are a great idea for this series, focusing on platforming and quick reflexes
- Music is back to its awesome Persian-sounding roots
- Provides decent closure to the Sands of Time series

Cons
- A bit "more of the same" from Warrior Within's gameplay in both combat and platforming
- Combat is still weak overall, with "quick kills" working only about 25% of the time
- While I appreciate the attempt to lighten the tone, it still doesn't come close to Sands of Time's brilliance
- Almost feels like a "best of" between the last two games, without bringing anything of its own to the table
- New gameplay bits like chariot races are ok, but hardly necessary
- Dark Prince isn't particularly fun to play, even if his concept is interesting

Yay! The old Prince is back! Sort of...

The Long

I was so mad at what Warrior Within did to the Prince's character that I didn't play The Two Thrones until nearly two years after its release. Yeah, the game was still awesome to play, but the sour taste in my mouth was so prevalent that every time I even looked at The Two Thrones' box I could just remember the Prince screaming "YOU BITCH" and stupid Nu-Metal blasting in the background. Ugh. 

When I finally did get around to playing The Two Thrones, I was pleasantly surprised. Ubisoft apparently had an entirely different game in the works for this one, but after an E3 showing that revealed it was going to be another dark, Warrior Within-esque sequel, the fan backlash was so bad they went back and redesigned it. Now you get what we have now: a mix between The Sands of Time's charismatic, quip-friendly Prince, Warrior Within's combat and excellent platforming, and general aesthetics more loyal to the original game. Sounds like a match made in heaven, right? 

Well...sort of. 

Man, this series is just so much fun. 

The story picks up immediately after the "true" ending of Warrior Within. The Prince is heading back to his home city of Babylon with the Empress of Time, intent on making things right. Once he gets there, however, he finds the city under siege. Apparently since he undid everything that happened during both the first and second games (rendering them irrelevant, which kind of sucks) the Vizier from The Sands of Time invaded Babylon (even though that...wasn't his role in the story in Sands of Time. Whatever.) and is generally ruining everything. The Prince's boat is sunk, the Empress captured, and off he goes to save her.

First off: this game's tone is certainly more Sands of Time than Warrior Within, though some of the "hardcore"-ness from Warrior Within does poke through from time to time. The original voice actor for the Prince is back, with the Empress of Time narrating over the story. This storytelling idea ties it in perfectly with Sands of Time. Farah, the love interest from the first game, shows up again in this one (this isn't that big of a spoiler; you'll live) and we get more of their silly banter as they quest about the city.

Together again! Yay!

The ending is really satisfying, as I said before, and ties everything up almost perfectly. Yeah, it's a bit corny and maybe isn't exactly had in mind when I beat Sands of Time back in 2004, but whatever; it works, and it isn't the Prince cutting himself or whatever the original plan was. That being said, this game is not Sands of Time. While the Prince and Farah throwing insults back and forth is great, it isn't nearly as clever or believable as it was in the first game. It almost seems forced at times, like Ubisoft was saying "You liked this, remember? We liked it too! We don't know what we were thinking, taking it out last game!" which sort of works, but still doesn't have that same magic.

The Vizier also turns into some weird sand-monster-god thing that looks kind of like a mix between Kefka and a Silent Hill monster, so...there's that too. 

At least he isn't calling himself "The Vizier...OF TIME" or anything stupid like that. 

As it stands, it blends elements of the previous two games together, which I appreciate because Sands of Time was so good, but really...you could have just not put the Warrior Within bits. He erased that timeline anyway; just pretend it never happened and go straight Sands of Time. That might have worked better, but I'm satisfied with what I'm given. They even tried giving the Prince another growth arc this time, this one about becoming brave enough to face his mistakes and lead his people (something he's been avoiding since the first game), which again works but not as well as the arc in the first game. As it stands, it's a good story, and fixes enough of the Warrior Within's problems that I'm willing to forgive this series.

On to the rest of it, then. 

Gameplay wise, not much has changed with the platforming. At all. The Prince still has his same skillset from Warrior Within, though he's replaced his sword with the Dagger of Time ("See, guys? We remembered what you liked!"). You still pick up weapons that break, have almost exactly the same combos (and the same ones still work), the running and jumping is identical, etc. As regular Prince, this game plays remarkably like Warrior Within, which is a good thing, though it would have been nice to mix it up.

The biggest change in regular Prince combat is the "quick kill" system. Basically, if you can be both quick, sneaky, and have perfect timing, you can leap from a wall towards say, an enemy on a balcony, and if you time it right you can tap a button and kill them instantly. It's a cool idea, one that works well with the Prince's acrobatics as well as the idea of him needed skill to face overwhelming odds, but the problem is it doesn't work. Each situation usually only has one right way of doing it, and if you mess it up all enemies are alerted and you are basically forced to fight them normally. Since there really isn't a stealth mechanic in play, you either get it or you don't, and you can't go "hide" or anything to reset it. It's stupid that they took this idea and didn't bother fleshing it out well at all, because again: it compliments the Prince's style. Oh well.

Then we got this guy. 

The most radical shift is the Dark Prince, who your regular Prince transforms to when he runs through fire or something like that. He's supposed to represent all the pent up anger and douchyness the Prince had in Warrior Within (so casting him as a villain really pushes the point home that even Ubisoft knew they'd messed up), and often can be heard talking to the Prince inside his head (which is a cool touch). The Dark Prince is absurdly overpowered when it comes to fighting, meaning you won't need any stealth kills, though he does have a big weakness: his health keeps draining down to a tiny sliver unless you keep collecting sand (either by killing or finding it in the environment). The Dark Prince also platforms a little differently because he has a chain that lets him swing, but the environments are built completely around this so it isn't that big of a mixup. Ultimately, the Dark Prince just makes the game easier, and while I'm glad for the variety he just seems sort of tacked on.

And now we see some Warrior Within bits creeping through. 

There are a few other new elements. Most enemies can only be killed when in light, leading to some cool underground portions where you have to lure them to light in order to finish them off. Chariot races are a fun diversion but hardly necessary, though the slow-mo enemy chariot explosion when you run them off the road is kind of hilariously awesome. Bosses, despite looking really stupid, are actually pretty fun. Most require use of the platforms around to get up on and then kick the crap out of (though they do the "quick time event" thing that was just now starting to become the norm), which means you are actually using the platforming elements of the game to fight them. Good work, Ubisoft! Only took you three games to realize you probably should use your series' strongest feature in the boss fights!

Of course, some of them don't do this, relying on the still-decent-but-not-great combat system to pull through, and those are disappointing. As it stands, however, this game is pretty much Warrior Within but with easy Dark Prince areas and a brighter, more lighthearted approach. Which I am totally fine with.

Every room is a puzzle, and as Professor Layton would say "Every puzzle has an answer."

This game is still using a heavily modified version of the Quake engine, and it shows. While great lengths have been made to modernize the graphics, this engine is just outdated by now. Considering this came out the same year God of War did (and almost a full year after Resident Evil 4), it looks a bit dated. Still, the brighter color pallet and cityscape setting reminds me a lot of their future work on Assassin's Creed, and since the scenery and climbing was the best part about that game, I'm fine with it.

Sounds are so much better. As I said already, the original voice cast is back, complete with over-story narration, and it's fantastic. Though the Empress of Time kind of talks a bit too much in a whispy, "I'm so mystical" voice like Galadriel from the Lord of the Rings movies, she isn't annoying. The music is back to its Persian rock roots, and it all sounds really good. 

The Prince, before he loses his shirt. He and Jacob from Twilight share that character motif. 

As it stands, The Two Thrones was a step back in the right direction. It provided a satisfying conclusion to the series, helped repair some of the damage caused by Warrior Within, and was a pretty good game in its own right. It's a pity nothing it brought new to the table was particularly good, the game heavily resting on the shoulders of its predecessors to succeed, but those are excellent shoulders to rest on and so the game still works.

It doesn't reach the heights of Sands of Time, not even close. But for the end of the trilogy and the conclusion of the story, it does it all well enough. As I said before, you can get all three of these games in HD on the PS3 for only around $20-30, and I really suggest picking them up if you haven't ever played them. This is one of the best game series' I can think of, and really should be played. Just...treat Warrior Within nicely, ok? It's been through some rough times, and we just now got it on antidepressants. 

I'm sad to see the Prince go. Four out of five stars.

And they all lived happily ever after. Awww...

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

The Short


Pros
- Takes the core gameplay elements of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and improves all of it
- Platforming is harder, funner, and has more moves
- Combat, while not perfect, is streamlined and certainly improved
- Environments are less "this is where you obviously go" and instead require problem solving
- Going between an old, ruined temple and the past, fixed temple is a neat concept
- Dahaka chases are crazy intense, resulting in some of the best moments of the series
- Wild plot twist at about the 3/4 mark completely changes up gameplay in a crazy way

Cons
- Nearly every fantastic story element from the first game has been completely ruined by the "dark" tone
- New Prince is an angsty, raging jerk who has lost all his wit and charm
- In addition to adding blood and gore to make it "dark," there's bonus tasteless cleavage and iron thongs. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea?
- The female enemies make weird, sexual/painful moans as you hit them and it's just...ugh
- Story is an incoherent mess about "fixing the timeline" or some such nonsense
- Still has some camera problems that the first game did, bosses are lame and unfun

The Prince is back, but not for the better. 

The Long

I love Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, and stand by my statement that it was one of the best games released last console generation. The fast-paced, free-form platforming integrated with excellent puzzles is ingenious, and coupled with the charming story and brilliant script it really makes for one great trip. I played it for the first time my freshman year of college, and everybody in my dorm loved it to death. We were all crazy pumped when we heard the second one, Warrior Within, was coming out soon, and it looked like it was going to be bloodier, darker, and basically improve all the minor problems we had with the first game. It's worth noting that Prince of Persia: Warrior Within was the first game I ever bought full price, and on release day (and for the Gamecube, no less). I brought it back to my dorm, popped it in, and began round two of the Prince's crazy aerobics exercises. 

It...wasn't everything I expected. 

The difficulty in this game has been ramped up. 

Something must have happened between 2003 and 2004 at Ubisoft. I have no idea what it was. They couldn't have played God of War, because that game didn't come out until 2005. Maybe they thought having a cute, funny story didn't work with their game of running around sawblades and leaping from high areas to a crushing demise. Regardless, somebody decided that having a happy-go-lucky, somewhat sexist, actually three-dimensional witty character was a "bad thing," and that they needed to change him up to appeal to the "kids these days."

So they took the Prince we knew and loved and made him a generic, angsty, rage-filled idiot with a gravelly voice who curses frequently and is generally a cold-hearted bastard. And his hair color changed, inexplicably. Because he probably dyed it black after picking up some new threads at Hot Topic. 

Who are you, and what have you done with that guy I liked from the last game?

I'm going to try and not dwell on this, but it's hard not to because the Prince of Persia series (the Sands of Time offshoot, anyway) is still struggling to overcome this radical makeover they thought was a good idea for this second game. Replacing our sassy, funny sidekick we now have an oversexualized woman who I have no idea how her dress stays on. Biggest bonus is during the first 3D CGI scene you get a "nice" scene of a new girl villain, who apparently somehow got a one-piece metal suit that has an included thong and shows vast amounts of her chest. Seriously, who the hell saw the first game and thought this was a good idea? 

I find this ironic, seeing as one of the Prince's character arcs in the first game was overcoming the fact he was a misogynistic prick

The story itself is also all sorts of nonsense. When you used the Dagger of Time to mess up the Sands of Time, apparently that made some time-flux or something, and some nasty Time-Beastie called the Dahaka wants the Prince eaten or killed or something to fix this. So he sails to the Isle of Time to talk to the Empress of Time in the Palace of Time to...geez, you can't just take every normal word and add "of Time" at the end to make it fix. Come on, people. It was bad enough in the first game, this is just overkill.

Anyway, there's a twist at the 2/3 mark and a twist near the end, and luckily you kill the annoying metal-thong woman about 15 minutes in and the red hooker/empress woman is just gone most of the game so you don't have anybody to talk to. Unlike the first game, where the Prince was narrating throughout (often with hilarious results), this game is mostly done in silence. Which I guess fits the somber mood, but again it feels like something was taken away that shouldn't have been.

Point being that having the new baditude Prince shouting "YOU BITCH!" as one of his first lines of dialogue after going on a swashbuckling, roguish adventure with him in the last game was startling. Ubisoft is still trying to recover from this misstep in tone, with the two games following this one being heavily emphasized that "Yes, we messed up, the Prince is sane in this one. Sorry." Somebody probably got fired for this game, now that I think about it, and maybe I'm ok with that. Who knows. 

Back to the traps

Character sabotaging aside, Prince of Persia: Warrior Within is actually a pretty big step up from its predecessor in nearly every gameplay element. First off, the game just feels better. The Prince is a bit faster (though he still takes a second to stop after a run, a realistic handicap you'll have to quickly master), his wall runs are quicker, and he just controls smoother. Second, the platforming segments of this game might actually be the best in the series (with the exception of the next-gen prequel, The Forgotten Sands). In the first game, it was almost blatantly obvious where you were supposed to go, with platforms and handholds easy to spot. They mixed it up in Warrior Within where the environments are more like actual background rather than a means to a puzzle (unless they are a means to a larger puzzle), so it can be tricker to even know where to go. They addition of being able to slow down time from nearly the offset can make certain segments a lot easier, but since it costs a rewind to pull it off you have to make an important decision: can I do it in two runs or less, or should I try slowing it down first?

It's just a better platformer overall, with harder puzzles and crazier setpieces. That element certainly was improved, and I haven't even talked about the Dahaka chases yet.

Death from above!

Stupid plot reasons aside, the Dahaka is cool. Basically he shows up every once in a while to scare the crap out of you, and you have to run as fast as you can to get away from him or he'll insta-kill you. He can't be beaten so you can't fight, you just gotta blitz across some crazy-hard platforming until you get to a safe spot. These tend to pop up right when you least expect it, and are quite intense. It was a good design choice, as a lot of people (like myself) spend big chunks of time figuring out where to go in these game before even attempting it, and this way it forced you to just go by instincts.

The game also has a cool feature where you switch back and forth in time between the "old" Island of Time and the "new" Island of Time, with the aesthetics being the opposite of what you thought. "Old" Island was before it was busted up, so everything is green and stuff is fixed and generally nicer. "New" is the modern setting where it's a big crappy ruin, stuff is a lot darker, and machines that were running before are now busted. While it's sort of them recycling content, the changes are so dramatic I never really minded. You don't really get to freely shift or anything to solve puzzles (the game decides when the swap happens) which is too bad, but it's a good aesthetic change that fits with the series' theme on time manipulation..."of time."

Oh yeah, it's more violent now. BADITUDE. 

Combat has seen a decent improvement, though it's a bit more button-mashy now than it was before. You don't have to knock enemies over and then suck 'em up with the Dagger of Time anymore, instead you can just cut their various body parts off and call it good. You have one sword at all times and then on your off hand you pick up weapons from the environment or enemies, all of which will eventually break. You have daggers, maces, axes, and swords, though most use the same combos. Once you figure out one or two good combos (the duel-blade "spin around in a circle so everything falls in half" is essentially a win-all) you can just spam them through most of the game, until the rare instance that it doesn't work and then just general mashing is ok. 

He can be a bit more aerobic in fights, too. You can spin around poles to cut heads, jump up walls and them leap back and dive down on people, and even attack on the walls now. This is actually my favorite improvement: being able to use his crazy platforming abilities in combat. It isn't done very well, but it's a step forward. 

Suffer not a beastie OF TIME to live

This game also has bosses for some retarded reason, all of which involve slashing at its ankles until you can jump on it, avoid him grabbing you, and punching at its head until you can get a stab in. They are boring and all are exactly the same. There's also boss fights against people (two boss fights against people) that are almost exactly the same as well: awful. In both instances you are put in rooms where you can't use your acrobatics (no walls), and instead have to just roll around and attack. Gee, great idea there. Take everything that made your game unique during the normal fights and get rid of it for what should have been some awesome boss encounters. Way to be. 

The game looks pretty good. Mostly. 

Graphically, this game looks loads better than Sands of Time, though you can tell it's on an aged engine. Environments are a bit muddy but still look really good. Character models are less blocky and polygonal but still exhibit the same "this person is a bunch of pieces put together" problem of earlyish PS2 games. The animations are all fantastic, however, with the Prince looking awesome as he runs, flips, and flies around. 

The music is horrible. The middle-eastern sounds of the first game are replaced by heavy metal licks to prove how "hardcore" the game is, and when you are running from the Dahaka the chorus of Godsmack's "Alive" blasts in the background (thankfully without lyrics). The voice are also terrible, with the Prince having a completely different voice actor and the voices of the enemies being annoying. The blatantly-sexual moans of pain from the female enemies, accompanied by such classic lines as "There's so much...pleasure in pain" makes you wish they would all just shut up like the enemies in the first game. That being said, you do spend most of this game in quiet (until you get to a cutscene or combat), so it isn't that awful I guess, but compared to Sands of Time this game sounds ugly. 

"I AM THE PRINCE OF PERSIA RAAAAWR"

Despite all my complaints about the radical shift in tone, I can't deny that Prince of Persia: Warrior Within is actually a very solid game underneath the awful new coat of paint. It's still a blast to play, the combat being fun if not particularly deep, the platforming being completely incredible, and the new setpieces both great to look at and fun to traverse. It's still an extremely solid game, mostly because it was based off the formula of it's much better predecessor, and I have to recommend it on those merits alone.

However, if you were really sold on the Prince's character in Sands of Time, this game might be a bit painful to experience. In all truth, you could wiki the story if it really mattered and jump straight to The Two Thrones without losing all that much, since it ties up most Warrior Within plot threads in the first fifteen minutes of The Two Thrones anyway (almost as if they wanted everybody to forget this game's story ever happened. Huh...).

This is part of a Prince of Persia HD Collection on PS3, which I really should own because I love these games so damn much, but it was also on every last-gen system (so if you have a backwards-compatible Wii, PS3, or Xbox 360 you should be set) and on PC, and it actually looks best on PC so that might be the way to do it. I still wholly recommend this series despite this game's...setbacks, but it certainly wasn't the sequel I expected back in 2004. 

Four out of five stars. 

Though I wish I could lobotomize the story from my brain.