Final Fantasy Record Keeper

The Short

Pros

• A nostalgia trip down every single-player Final Fantasy game
• The Final Fantasy VI inspired sprites are a treat, particularly pixel-styled monsters from the later games
• All the original music is maintained, and it's great
• For a free-to-play game, you can get a lot of gametime out of it without spending a cent
• Great for short bursts of playtime
• Daily dungeons give you new stuff to try every day
• It's basically Puzzle and Dragon but with Final Fantasy. If you like that, you'll like this.
• Dr. Mog is probably not a real doctor, but that's ok.

Cons

• Horrible UI and constant load times mar the experience
• Not a whole lot of strategy until the dungeons get really hard
• To unlock most characters you have to wait for bi-monthly events
• Black magic is worthless until way later, and after you've invested tons of time into the game
• Mithril gets painfully scarce after the initial run. If you try and use real money, prepare to get ripped off.
• Not totally void of strategy, but the real meat of the game requires several weeks of playtime

Get yo nostalgia on.

The Long

Square-Enix sure likes to milk it's fans nostalgia for the Final Fantasy series. Starting with Final Fantasy IX, which one could argue exists as a nostalgic throwback to the I-V style of games, in more recent years the pandering fanservice has become more apparent. When not squirting out Final Fantasy VII spinoff games (or the upcoming remake), they've made a ton of crossover style games to try and lure old fans back into the franchise. Some of these are good (Dissidia) some are really good (Theatarhythm) and some are abominations (All The Bravest). With Record Keeper (which is an awful name, by the way), does Square finally hit pay dirt on the nostalgia train? In particular, do they finally release a new mobile game that isn't awful and/or completely overpriced?

On the surface, this looks a hell of a lot like the awful All The Bravest. However, if you only read one thing in this article know this: Record Keeper is NOT All The Bravest. It's much better (thank goodness). How much better remains to be said, but compared to that atrocity, Record Keeper looks like god's gift to video games.

So...does it stand on its own? Or is Record Keeper not worth recording? Or keeping? Puns? Read on.

I'm here to get nostalgic and play video games. And I'm all out of...well, neither.

There is actually a story to Record Keeper, albeit a stupid one. You are a record keeper (fancy that) named whatever you want to be named (so, "Barf") and apprentice to Dr. Mog, who is obviously a Moogle. Apparently all the stories from the Final Fantasy series live in some kind of Moogle archive in...space? The moon? Cocoon? The Esper Realm? Who knows. Point being, something happens and all the stories get screwed up, so it's up to you, Barf, to go back and fix them. How do you do it? By recruiting characters from the games and reliving the most poignant battle scenes and moments, of course! How ELSE?!

This is portrayed through text descriptions of events in the game, with a few screenshots. Unlike Theatarhythm, where you got little movies representing the stories, in here it's just badly granulated jpegs. The images they choose to use are also pretty baffling; Final Fantasy VI uses the SNES graphcis, but Final Fantasy IV's story screenshots are from the 3D DS remake (ugh) and Final Fantasy V's are from the RPG Maker looking android/iOS port (double ugh). While the pixelated stuff looks ok, the 3D stuff looks weirdly SD, even worse than it probably looked on the PS1/PS2. I dunno, maybe I'm being too picky, because I just skimmed the stories anyway. Point being: if you haven't played these games in a while, this does a decent job at reminding you of the general flow, and it's fun to unlock plot progression across multiple Final Fantasy games at once.

Limit break!

Gameplay is pretty much Puzzle and Dragon, except replace the monster fusing/sacrificing with doing the same thing for character equipment. If you haven't played Puzzle and Dragon, then I'm gonna explain it anyway, so don't freak out.

Basic gameplay is in the traditional ATB Final Fantasy combat, meaning you have a meter that fills for each character, you issue instructions, it takes a moment for that command to execute, and it moves on to the next person. In a weird twist that I actually like, spells and abilities are done more in the style of Final Fantasy I, with a charge system rather than MP. All abilities have to be crafted (more on that later), and have limited uses in a dungeon based on how much you've "honed" them. All these and your HPs reset after a dungeon run, so no worries there.

Essentially, you pick a realm (being the numbered Final Fantasy game) and then a particular event. In that event, you have 3-10 dungeon "events"  you have to do in order to complete the dungeon, with the last usually being a boss. Within each event you have 3-4 waves of enemies to fight. If you back out of a dungeon, you keep your loot but have to start at the beginning, same goes if you fail. So don't fail.

And there's quests. We'll get to that.

In order to do dungeon events, you have to spend "stamina." Stamina is automatically generated over time, and you have a pool of it that can grow as you clear more dungeons. Stamina generation is actually pretty fair: you get 1 point every 3 minutes, and your starting pool is generous. Dungeons get more expensive the harder they get, but you usually have enough to do one or two dungons, then be done for an hour or so, then come back and play a little more. I imagine not having stamina would allow people to grind through the game in like a week, so it's understandable. I actually like this system, as it encourages me taking breaks.

Clearing dungeons gives you loot in the form of equipment, crafting materials, gil, and XP (and Mithril, but only rarely). There is a ton of equipment in this game, pooled from all the Final Fantasy games. To upgrade it, you "feed" other equipment into the equipment you want to level, destroying the food equipment and paying some Gil to make it happen. Max upgrade a weapon and you can combine it with one of the same name, upping the max level and quality. Quality ranges from one to five stars, with anything three and above considered pretty good. As you can guess, you get a ton of junk gear which you then use to feed your higher ranked stuff. Additionally, characters can only equip certain types of weapons, which I'll get to...right now.

You pick up characters along the way. Each world has at least one to get, tying into the game you are in. Just a word of advice: named character (Cloud, Cyan, Steiner, etc.) are way better than the generic FFI characters (White Mage, Black Mage, etc.). Dump those guys, stick with the named ones. Each character has their own unique limit break and a handful they can learn from elite/rare gear, as well as their own class (usually ranged fighter, melee fighter, red mage, black mage, with summoners and monks being included in some of those roles). There are a lot of characters to collect, and seeing as characters get giant bonuses in their own worlds, it's good to even out your party with a range.

Dungeons vary in length.

The downside is that most characters can only be collected during special events, which Square rotates through once every two weeks. These require both a beefed up party and a lot of stamina, so expect to be stuck with Cloud, Barf, Kane, and Wakka for a while before getting anybody really good (Cloud is good, at least). If you miss an event, too bad; better hope it comes up again if you want Sabin and Edgar from FFVI, for example. This is a little obnoxious but it makes me keep coming back, so it's got that going for it.

And...that's essentially the game. Doing realms and dungeons unlocks more realms and dungeons to battle in, which get progressively harder. You use crafting materials to create and upgrade spells, with the rarer components making the better stuff. Square does everybody a solid by having "Gil" dungeons come up on the daily randomized dungeon rotation, which are basically dungeons where you get a buttload of money (seeing as all upgrades, combinations, etc. require Gil, it's good it is plentiful if you know where to look), as well as crafting material dailies and more. It's surprisingly lenient considering Square's history of free to play games. This game is very easy to pick up, play for a bit, do some upgrades, and put it down for a few hours. Which makes it a great phone game...in theory.

Let's talk about what's bad now. Like this UI.

The saddest part to me about Record Keeper is that the game's biggest failing comes in completely technical ways. First off, the UI is a cluttered mess in every instance. From the confusing scrolling banner, to the non-centered navigation buttons on the bottom with huge icons, to there being buttons freaking everywhere and look like they were designed for a smartphone in 2009, this game's interface is bad. To be fair, you get used to it, but some streamlining would really help this game out a lot. But that isn't even the biggest problem, which is: the load times.

Now, I usually don't fault games for load times. I mean, I loved Fable and the Xbox version of that game had 30-45 second load times for every freaking area. But Record Keeper is a mobile game, designed to be picked up and run through fast. Instead, literally (and I mean the literal use of the word literally here) everything you do has a load screen. Switch menu options? Load screen. Go to a realm to check your progress? Load screen. Load the quests interface? Load screen. Load a dungeon layout? Load screen. Load a battle? Load screen. Results screen? Yep, it loads. Hell, it even has a load screen just to show the Square-Enix logo fade in and out at the beginning, and then loads again for the title. Like...what.

To be fair, I've only played the android version, maybe the iOS version is better. But still...damn. If this game were better optimized, it would be much funner to just bust through every couple of hours.

We gonna win.

Another problem is the lack of strategy. Early on (by that I mean the first month you play), you can probably beat most battles by having an all-melee warrior team and hitting "auto battle." Healers? Who needs em! Black magic? Are you kidding? Black magic is essentially worthless until it's honed (as you have two casts of Thunder per entire dungeon at the start), which means using gil and crafting materials, which you get from battles. So Terra can't be that godly black mage until you've played a ton, so just...pick warriors and auto battle. Which means most of the game (except bosses) you just watch your guys murder everything and do nothing. Fun!

Bosses provide a larger challenge, as they're usually way harder than the enemies leading up to them. Dr. Mog will give you their weaknesses before a battle, but often times just beating them to death works. Twice per dungeon you also get to summon another player's character for a free Limit Break, and often times these characters are in their 50s+. Which means a "roaming party member" can insta-gib a boss most of the time early on. Again, not much strategy.

The game does get more complex once you start playing Elite versions of old dungeons, as well as your party getting fleshed out and better equipped. But ultimately, it's just a time waster for long time, which may turn a lot of people off.

Death to ugly birds.

So how does Square make money off this? Well, there is the usual two "top tier" currencies, in this case Mithril (which you can earn slowly by clearing dungeons) and Coins (great name...you buy these). Essentially, you can use either to revive a party on death (it's a waste, don't do it), refill your stamina (waste) or gamble for rare items (do this). For 5 Mithril you get a three star or higher weapon, but for 50 Mithril you get eleven, which I'd suggest saving for. You can also pay $1 for one draw or $10 for 11 draws, which is a horrible deal and a waste of money. With me saving 50 mithril, I turned my weak party into diabolical killing machines really easily, so don't put money in. I never did, and I got fat fast. Just saying.

All in all, Record Keeper is a fun diversion if you are nostalgic for the Final Fantasy series. It has a lot of technical problems, as well as some tedious starting gameplay, but for those who burn a few weeks worth of stamina on it they'll find a fun and fairly strategic Final Fantasy battle game. It isn't quite as good as I hoped it would be, but it's a billion times better than All the Bravest, so if you have a smartphone and love these games, you might as well give it a shot.

Just don't get too pissed off at the loading screens.

Three out of five stars. 

Scare Spree

The Short

Pros
- Spooky, scary, ghosty fun
- It is, as advertised, a Spree of Scares
- Music and art are both great
- Large assortment of levels and characters to unlock and play
- Gameplay is simple to learn, tricky to master
- Getting high scores and finding all the unlocks can be addicting
- Only a buck on Android

Cons
- The engine, while admirably holding up, doesn't quite fit to the gameplay style
- Unlocks for new characters and levels can take a while. You may be stuck on the first level a while
- Touch controls take a while getting used to.
- No online leaderboards or sharing (again, an engine thing)

Thems a lotta spooks ready for scarin'. 

The Long

You know what's great? Halloween. You know what's also great? Scaring kids.

Legally, of course. Wait, where was I going with this?

Scare Spree is a recently released game on Android about (you guessed it), scaring kids on Halloween. Made on the OHRRPGCE game engine and later ported to the handheld, it combines arcade-style, points-grubbing action with the Halloweeny feel to create an addicting, if a bit rough-around-the-edges android experience.

So is it worth picking up this All Hallows Eve? For sure, but read on for exactly why.

It's not illegal if you are actually a monster. 

There isn't really a story here: scare kids. There's the story. It's the most important story ever told, because if kids deserve anything, it's having the Fear O' God put into 'em. That or a fear of a skeleton, pig, alien, witch, or guy dressed up like a bug-eyed Hamster. All those are playable characters, by the way. 

The goal of Scare Spree is a simple one: Scare as many kids as possible within the time limit, and rank up combos. Combos are essential to doing well, as that you'll get a measly and pathetic score if you don't bother to learn the combo system. 

The controls are simple: You can scare, sprint, or MEGA SCARE. MEGA SCARE can only be done after you've scared a bunch of kids in a row (again, combos) and filled up the meter, so your primary form of attack will be the standard scare fare. You can also hold down the attack button to attract kids around you, then scare them all at once for sick combos, which is pretty hilarious. The kids all scream bloody murder when they get frightened, which is a hoot.

I ain't afraid of no...tornadoes?

Unfortunately, a few minor issues arise after playing a few rounds. The first is easily overcome: the controls. While it works fine, this game was clearly designed with a keyboard or gamepad in mind, with the touch controls to move (it's limited to a grid) feel a bit clunky. These controls work for a slower game, like an RPG, but for an action based game it's a bit cumbersome. However, you'll adjust quickly to it's three button, one stick layout.

The other issue is the scaring itself, especially combos. When kids are "scared" they run off screaming but don't disappear. This often lead to me wondering which in a group of kids I'd scared and which I hadn't, with the only way to know counting the kids and the boost to my combo. While they do flail about and run faster, it can still be tricky (since they're still on-screen), and did confuse me a bit. Again, you get used to it, but the bar of entry is still a tad high. 

Who wouldn't be scared of that...thing?

Once you get it, however, the game becomes a hoot. While it does take a bit longer than it probably should to unlock more characters and stages (and the different characters are just cosmetic; they don't actually do anything different), figuring out the best way to chain combos to get high scores quickly becomes addicting. On top of that, the quirky graphics and absolutely killer soundtrack really sells the spooky scene. The title screen looks straight out of an NES-era game, and I love it. 

Keeping it simple. Ish. 

While the lack of any online leaderboards won't make Scare Spree the next Angry Birds, it's a fantastic Halloween romp that's also awesome any day of the year. Here's hoping the creator provides more updates and content (maybe more stages, or making the various characters actually different) over the next little bit to flesh the game out, and perhaps tighter controls or an easier beginning game will help newbies. But for those willing to invest the time (and $1), you're in for a spooky halloween treat.

It currently goes for a buck on the Google Store, so check it out. Four out of five stars. 

Let there be spooks. 

Super Hexagon

The Short

Pros
- Extremely addicting, difficult action game
- Action game? Is this an action game? I'd say it's just like a reflex game
- Seriously, the default difficulty is "Hard" and then it goes up to "Hardererestest"
- Minimalist graphics and flashing colors add to the difficulty
- Only three songs. All are awesome.
- Exceptionally addicting
- Quick; one "round" can last anywhere from a minute to under a second
- Nearly the perfect game for portable devices

Cons
- Not competing for score against friends kind of makes the game less interesting
- Might give you a seizure
- The "Game Over" and "Begin" voices are a bit obnoxious; I wish you could turn them off.

Screenshots don't really describe this game, so here's a video.

The Long

The thing about Super Hexagon that's so great is...hang on, I died.

Ok, we're rolling again. So the thing about...dang it! One more.

So ok, if I just quickly get this...nope. Hold up, one more go.

What? I died in under a second? That run didn't count. This one's for serious.

Ok, no, this one is for serious.

What were we talking about again?

This has reaffirmed my theory that all things hexagonal are evil. 

Ok, right, Super Hexagon. It's a game that's out on Android and iOS and also your computer, Mac, Linux, probably Palm Pilot for all I know; I don't care. The point is: you should probably go get it. If you have all the above devices and can't decide, there's clearly only one course of action: buy it on all of them. It's only $3. But if you for some reason don't have unlimited funds to buy the same game over and over, then I'd suggest the portable (iPhone, Android, etc.) version over another version.

Or you can kick yourself because you didn't buy it in the Android Humble Bundle a few months back. Like I did. Gosh dang it. 

Anyway, this is supposed to be a review, but I seriously can't stop playing this dumb game long enough to write it. Let me just...ok, hang on, we'll do it between rounds.

It's like every stop sign I ever ran is back for revenge.

So the point of Super Hexagon is simple. You play that little bitty dot on the screen, and the world around you spins and sucks all those walls in towards the hexagon at the center. Your goal is to weave through the gaps of this labyrinth, because if you so much as graze one of those solid blocks of color your run is over and you're back to square one.

That's seriously the entire game. There's milestones that are associated with shapes, with line being the start at 5 seconds, triangle at 10, etc. And yes, you heard me right: the first goal is to survive just five seconds. If this sounds easy, note that my current record for Hexagon Hyper Mode (the "Hardester" difficulty, and a remix of the first "Hard" level) is 4.11 seconds. Yep. Just can't get to that 5 second mark.

But you can bet I'll be back every 4.11 seconds to try again. 

What else is hexagons? Well, bees make their honeycomb in it. And bees are evil, too.

This game is purity incarnate. It's minimalist graphics, extremely simple controls of just left and right (it plays like a dream on both touch and computer, though I tend to prefer it on touch controls), and obvious goal are so simple a baby could figure it out. But when you get to the actual game, aka dodging stuff, this game is exceptionally tough. Tough, but very rewarding. When you're on a fourty-five second run on Hexagon (the default "Hard" difficulty), knowing in only fifteen seconds you'll get the much-wanted "Hexagon" shape call and unlock a new level, you start sweating a bit. Or a lot. It's the most intense minute of  your life, and that's the easiest difficulty.

There's six difficulties total...well, three actually. The second three are unlocked after passing a minute in the first three, and are the same levels amped up to extreme speeds. This is the kind of game where you'll play the hardest level, failing out after 5-10 seconds, then jump back to the first one and realize how slow everything is moving in comparison and how much better you suddenly are at the game. And then die anyway. And play again. Because a run is hardly longer than a minute, and everybody has a minute. I have a minute right  now, actually...whoop, died again. 

The tunes of shapes. And rotating death.

The excellent, pure visual design is accented by some kickin' chiptunes. If you don't like them, you can use your own music, but I seriously dig them. One of the best parts is after you die and restart it'll jump to like 2 minutes ahead into the track, meaning you'll hear a different song. But if you want to hear the in-between stuff, the song that happens from 1-2 or 2-3, you'll have to live long enough to hear it. I'll fully admit I haven't heard any of these songs all the way through in-game. Seriously. I can't do it. But I'll keep trying. 

The only thing that's obnoxious is the female voice that says "Game Over" every time you die, or "Begin" when you start. But even that becomes a sort of hypnotic quality, urging you to try again after hearing her say "Game Over" in that kind of disappointed way, giving it one more run before...ok, I died too fast that time, let's try one more time. 

According to Wikipedia, this is how you make a Hexagon. Note the lack of bright, spinning colors and constant failure. 

Perhaps the only real complaint I could lodge against this purity of video game addiction is the fact that it's longevity is, primarily, based on personal accomplishment. If you aren't the kind of person who likes to stretch oneself without others being involved, this might not be the best game for you. However, you can easily fix this by convincing a few friends to buy copies of the game (or buying it for them yourself during a Steam sale) and then competing for top scores. That greatly increases the game's lifespan, assuming your friends are as determined to dodge spinning shapes as you are.

Seriously...there is so much one could say about this game, but really it explains itself exactly perfect in the trailer video I posted above. Super Hexagon is a fantastic experience, and a damn near perfect game. It's extremely addicting, unbelievably challenging, an impossible to put down. Like Tetris on the Game Boy, Super Hexagon is my modern-day mobile killer-app. 

Five out of five stars. 

I was going to put an outro graphic here, but instead I just played more Super Hexagon. Hey; not my fault my phone is right next to my computer. 

Rayman: Jungle Run

The Short

Pros
- Fun twist on the "runner" genre
- Livid Dead levels are a fun, difficult challenge
- Graphics look gorgeous on a retina screen or high-res android display
- Game does a good balance of rewarding powerups to improve difficulty
- Great "pick up 'n play" game
- Has free DLC
- Not hampered by microtransactions
- Only $2

Cons
- Could have used more levels
- Simplistic platforming might irritate some

I was runnin...

The Long

It's no secret I'm a big fan of iOS and Android games. Short, usually simple experiences that sate your video game fix on the go for a hefty discount. Games like 10,000,000 and Game Dev Story can be content rich (and, at times, complex) while still being loads of fun and budget priced.

Something I'm sick of, however, is the "runner" style games on the iOS store. There's plenty of these out there, some more popular ones being Canabalt, Jetpack Joyride, Monster Run, and I Must Run! Basically you endlessly run to the right, dodging obstacles forever until you run into something and die. It's a score chase, it's mindless, and there's too many of them.

So when I heard they were making a Rayman game that was a "run" game, I was a bit turned off. Yeah, I loved the crap out of Rayman Origins, but I didn't want fond memories of that game tarnished by a weak knock-off. However, after hearing a few good reviews and seeing how downright pretty this game is, I dived in.

And guess what? Rayman Jungle Run is a superb platformer in every respect, that certainly goes above the concept of both a "runner" game and an iOS platformer.

The game certainly looks like Rayman

Jungle Run takes the basic ideas from Rayman Origins, strips them down, and leaves a game that is both easy to learn and difficult to master. It plays somewhat similarly to runner games in that Rayman will always automatically run to the right, but what differentiates this game is that there's actual level design here. It isn't an endless runner like many might think; instead, it's got similar platforming to Origins, just axing the manual directional control that would normally be handled by the D-pad. As such, you are left with three very simple options: jump, hover, and attack. And the game has worlds devoted entirely around these mechanics, just to be sure you'll learn them. Oh, and the wall run move. Can't forget that.

Because this game has actual levels, it feels more like an actual platformer than many other iOS platformers that offer full control. To be honest, removing directional controls (a finicky thing on a touch screen) was probably the best idea for this touch-only game, as they obviously designed the levels around the "always running" mechanic. This leaves a bunch of levels that are both challenging and fun, while still being easy and not having touch-controls trying to bottleneck you at every turn. It was a smart design choice, and it pays off in spades. 

Lums are still the goal of the game. 

While the levels are usually not too challenging to get through in terms of traversal, the real goal is to collect all the Lums (those little golden dudes) on every stage. That is where the game's challenge comes in. If you can get all 100 Lums, you earn a tooth for Death. Get enough teeth in a world, and you unlock that world's Land of the Livid Dead stage, a super challenging gauntlet that can often feel more like rote memorization rather than actual skill. Still, these uber-difficult unlocks are appreciated, as they feel like a good capstone to the skill you learned in each world. They also add a lot of replayability, as each level is usually under a minute long, so replaying it over and over to try and get all the Lums quickly becomes priority.

There were originally four worlds (five now, with DLC), each with ten levels if you count the bonus Livid Dead levels. That's a total of fifty levels for $2, which is certainly not a bad deal, but I wouldn't have minded more considering how easy the first world is. Still, it's easy to pick up, hopelessly addicting, and controls great. You can't ask for a more perfect iOS experience.

Good luck with that coin. 

This game also looks downright gorgeous on an iOS screen. The fact it looks nearly identical to Rayman Origins is a credit to the developers considering the downgrade in hardware, and the bright colors pop out vividly on the retena display. It looks great on an iPhone, but on an iPad it's downright spectacular, easily being one of the best looking iOS games artistically.

Music is also good, with a few select tunes from Origins, though it doesn't quite reach the awesome level that Origins' music provided. Still, I play most iOS games with the sound off, and the game plays fine silent as well. So that's a plus too.

I have very little bad to say about this game. 

Jungle Run isn't Origins. It's stripped down, to be sure, to accommodate for the touch screen and mobile status of a phone. But despite that, Ubisoft has created one of the best iOS platformers I've ever experienced. By removing what is often a developer's biggest hang up for these types of games (analog directional control on a touch screen) and focusing instead on building levels around the running mechanic, they've created a game that's fun, a good challenge, addicting, and excellently controlled. My only gripe is I wish there was more of it, something they seem to be fixing with free DLC.

If you have any affinity for these types of games, on console or otherwise, you should do yourself a favor and grab Jungle Run. I mean...come on. It's $2. You can't even buy lunch with that. 

Four out of five stars. 

Fire is still bad, though. Just...in case you forgot. 

Game Dev Story

The Short


Pros
- Silly, addicting little game simulating running a game-making company
- Has a massive amount of variety, factors, and depth when it comes to making games
- While more a game than a simulation itself, the core things work wonderfully
- Seriously, you think you are going to play for five minutes, and next thing you know it's been four hours
- Allows you to start a new game with the (majority) of your upgrades intact
- Parodies of real-world consoles and development stages are entertaining and cute
- I made a "Bikini Kart Racer" on the Game Boy that sold three million copies and got two sequels on a Blu-Ray home system. Game of the year.
- Also, you can hire a monkey

Cons
- If you are Min/Max gamer, this game will ruin you
- Also, if you are not someone who plays games a lot, the complete lack of instruction can be annoying
- It hides most of its math, etc. behind the cute visuals, so it can be hard to know why a game succeeded or failed
- The first hour or so you only make games that suck, which can be discouraging
- Making your own console is so obscure I'm fairly certain nobody has figured it out without reading a guide
- Doesn't use the full iOS/Android screen, and doesn't have retina display support

Yes, I made a wrestling MMO called Wrestle Online. Game of the Year. 

The Long

Before I begin it's worth noting that my wife already reviewed most of Kairosoft's Games on her blog. She's played more of them than I have, and while I've spent at least a little time in all of them, all in all Game Dev Story is really the only one that I couldn't stop playing and spent enough time with to review. Point being: they make some excellent iOS and Android games, all in the style of the old "Tycoon" games, and are worth checking out if you own an device.

But Game Dev Story is my favorite. Here's why.

My game company, Hacktavision, making the big bucks. 

Game Dev Story is about as meta as at gets. A game simulating game making? How quaint! But beneath the colorful visuals and deceivingly simple interface, Game Dev Story is a deep and complex simulation game, one that does a damned good job of sucking all your time away when you least expected it to.

The point is simple: you have fifteen years to make the biggest game company in the world. You start of small in (what I assume) is around 1984-1985, with the NES being the newest big thing. You start with just four employees, but as your games get better and you start winning awards and getting fanmail you'll move to a bigger office and hire more people. All the while new game consoles are coming out (which are entertaining parodies of real-world systems; I always wanted to make a Virtual Boy game) so you have to manage licencing fees in order to keep up with the trend (protip: just build Game Boy games. Seriously, that thing was around forever and always relevant). 

It's funny because it's "Intendro"

So how do you make a game? Well, Game Dev Story streamlines the process. Essentially you start with a limited number of genres and styles, and you mix-and-match two (like "Bikini" and "MMO"), pick your game system, and start development. It always happens in three stages: design, graphics, and sound, where you can pick employees to give it "stats" boosts. Every game also has five key stats: Gameplay, creativity, graphics, sound, and bugs. The amount you earn during the allotted "design time" (no vaporware here; your games are always released on a deadline) depends on employees, and its always followed by bugtesting (or you can just ship the game buggy and take a hit to your scores). Then you sit back and watch the profits roll in! Or design your next game. Which would be smart. 

There's just so much to do in this game it's almost overwhelming. If you are low on cash you can just do side-jobs for other companies to earn the money to fund your next big project. Advertising is important, as you have to cater to both genders as well as a wide range of ages. Consoles rise and fall with market share, and putting a game out on the more popular ones is smart but expensive. Employees need to be trained and leveled up, earning access to new genres and types, but you also need to cycle through them in order to make the best team. Picking a right genre/type combination (like Action RPG + Fantasy) will level it up, earning you points to put into making your game have a niche appeal, be more accessible, etc. Sell well enough and a game can earn a direct sequel, boosting sales but if the sequel sucks the franchise dies. Lastly, you'll receive fanmail, be featured on various gaming magazines, compete to win various Game of the Year awards, and go to E3 every year. Yeah, all in a little silly handheld game. Nuts. 

Fantasy RPGs are expensive to develop, but can move a TON of units. 

It's extremely addicting, mostly because you are constantly being rewarded. While it is possible to screw up and run out of money completely, usually you are just teetering on the brink between financial success and ruin, making every game's sales absolutely necessary for your company to survive. But, seeing as it is smart to be designing your next game while the previous is selling, you'll be watching sales while working on Bikini Online 2.0 or Guitar Hero Space Shooter. It's very hard to stop making just "one more game," and this was the first iOS game I literally played from 100% battery life down to 0%. Hours and hours sitting in the BYU Library when I should have been studying. Whoops.

Like most Kairosoft Games, however, it has one rather big issue: the in-game tutorials are almost nonexistent. The game gives you the bare basics on how the game works, directing you in how to make your first game, but never bothers telling you how to make a game good or which stats are preferable for which stages of the design process or anything like that. So your first run you might fumble about for the first decade while trying to get your bearings, though it does make the game more intense when you are struggling against total financial and company-wide ruin. Most of your upgrades carry over to new games, so your second playthrough will almost always be better than the first. Just...don't try to Min/Max your stats in this, trust me. It's possible but extremely difficult and has a hefty amount of luck involved. It'll kill you. Seriously.

"Worked really hard?" For 1 Gameplay and 42 Creativity? Somebody needs a motivational poster!

There are a few other little niggles. You can only have one save aside from the autosave, meaning sharing the game is impossible. While it does try to cover a very wide scope of the video game industry, some stuff is neglected. Why, if I make a game console, do I not receive royalties from people making games from it? Why is the PC always the worst console throughout the whole game (if you want a bigger challenge, try beating the game only making PC games. It's hard!)? Why is the best console I can make only 64 Bit, when I can put a Blu-Ray player in there? Why can't I influence market share if I consistently put awesome, high selling games out on a failing system? How on earth did I sell 10 million copies of Ninja: A Noire Shinobi on my home console when I only sold 5 million consoles? While the little touches are what make this game, I couldn't help but think there should be more of them.

Graphics are also pretty unimpressive. On both Android (my Kindle Fire) and my iPhone the game looks blurry and blown up. It also is the only Kairosoft game that doesn't use the whole screen; it's just a rectangle in the middle. I understand these are ports of Japanese PC games, but it kind of looks bad. While it doesn't matter because the graphics are really just placeholders for the mad math going on in the background, it wouldn't have hurt to have updated it for widescreen and retina display. 

"Ponies vs Zombies" is going to sell out.

As it stands, Game Dev Story is fantastic. If you have any interest in the video game industry at all, this representation slash parody of the industry is hilarious and clever. But even if you don't, the core game here is so addicting and fun it's worth checking out regardless. It'll suck you in fast, trust me, and the minute you end you'll want to start over and do it again. Kairosoft is making a name for their fantastic tycoon games on mobile devices, and Game Dev Story is no exception.

It runs at $4 on iOS and $2.50 on Android normally, but every time a new Kairosoft game is put out (which is usually one a month) they tend to discount the previous ones, so if the tag looks a little high you can always hold out. I paid $6 for it when it was the only Kairosoft game on the market, and I don't regret it in the slightest. Fun, silly, and with plenty of tongue-in-cheek, Game Dev Story is downright fantastic.

Now port the second one, Kairosoft! Hurry up!

Four out of five stars. 

This pretty much sums it up. 

Peggle

The Short


Pros
- Fun, addicting game that is both like pinball and plinko while being neither
- Has probably the best visual/audio feedback for winning in a game, ever
- Tons of different animals with a variety of powerups
- Large number of bonus stages after beating the main game
- Fantastic for a mobile iOS or Android device

Cons
- Heavily based on randomness
- Some stages can feel unfair due to random powerup layouts, ball behavior, etc.
- So addicting you might forget to do other things. Like eat. Or sleep.

It's time for another game about balls!

The Long

There's something about PopCap games that make you forget to do important things, some of which are necessary for daily survival. What, make dinner? I can just eat chips and dip; I'm sure I'll get hungry later. What, sleep? Eh, I wasn't going to fall asleep before 2:00 am anyway. What, breathe? Well, your skin absorbs some oxygen, I'm sure my lungs will figure something out if it's really necessary. And so on.

Peggle might be the worst offender at soul-sucking time wasting out of all of PopCap's games. Yes, even worse than Bejeweled. Essentially a simple physics game with hardly any depth to speak of, Peggle still manages to suck you in with its colorful visuals, great sound effects and music, and the "one more try" or "one more level" problem that makes it so gamers forget to bathe. And eat. And breathe.

So...let's take a look at one of the most addicting games of all time. And no, I'm not talking about World of Warcraft.

They actually put Peggle IN World of Warcraft. As if you needed another excuse to never get off your computer. 

Peggle is a very simple game that pretends it has strategy, when really it requires a hefty dose of luck. Essentially, each level you are presented with a game board that has strategically placed pegs and blocks scattered about (usually in some form of artistic pattern matching a theme). Of these, a good chunk will be colored orange. Your mission (and you'll choose to accept it, until 3:00 in the morning) is to knock out all the orange pegs with the balls allotted. You shoot it from the top of the screen, and it goes bouncing around like the Plinko game from The Price is Right.

Drew Carry, your career has really gone downhill. 

It holds a few tricks. On the bottom of the screen is a container that goes back and forth; manage to land the ball in that and you get a free ball. The more orange pegs that are hit or gone increase a combo meter, which subsequently gives you more points and if you earn a set number of points with a single ball you'll earn another extra ball. Lastly, each stage has two green pegs that provide power-ups based on your character of choice. This can include improved targeting, making the container that moves around the bottom bigger, flippers like a pinball machine, etc. But you'll just always use the dragon's "Fireball" powerup, because it is easily the best.

You may have zen, owl, but you lack the dragon's firepower. Literally. Firepower. HA. 

This concept may sound stupidly simple, and that's because it is. Some pegs move about in set patterns, stages get harder quick, but overall the game's simplicity never changes. Orange and green pegs are randomized even on the same stages, meaning no two games are exactly the same. In time you figure out the physics well enough to calculate to the second or maybe third bounce, but after that it's all luck of the draw.

So how on earth does a game with such a random element work? Well...without dissecting it beyond what is necessary (read: at all) it's the mix of an illusion of control and belief that skill will sway the results along with the random results that keeps you playing. Being able to think you are actually improving (and you do...though you hit a ceiling after a very short amount of time) keeps you going, the new power-ups helping with that as well, but the crazy randomness gives you the idea that "next game will go better." If it were pure skill it would be stressful, and if it were pure randomness it wouldn't have a point. The mix here is a slippery slope, but Peggle pulls it off perfectly.

Then this happens. 

What sells the game, however, it its over-the-top, overly rewarding aesthetic. The game gives you bonus points for just about anything, from long shots to trick shots to just generally doing stuff that it thinks is cool. And by "doing stuff" I mean "having stuff happen randomly 90% of the time." The flashy, crazyness reminds me of the allure of well-made pinball machines, but all this pales when compared to what happens when you are down to the last orange peg. Every shot towards it will cause the camera to zoom in for a crazy slo-mo shot, way more intense than should be allowed for a game about shooting balls at pegs. If you miss a crowd goes "awww..." but if you hit the thing it EXPLODES and "EXTREME FEVER" blasts across the screen, on fire, while a wild version of "Ode to Joy" choruses into your ears. It's...totally bananas.

YOU WIN. CAN YOU TELL?

Honestly, even people who don't like Peggle (all four of you) remember this stage finale, that happens every time you win. While it's overexaggurated to the point of parody, there's no denying there's some sort of euphoric elation and sense of accomplishment every time stupid "Ode to Joy" starts swelling from my speakers. Like the massive amounts of positive feedback the game gives you, this game-ending blast of orchestration is so absurd yet rewarding you want to see each stage to an end, just to hear the song and see the rainbows and explosions again.

You got a lot of characters, but Cinderbottom is the only one you need. 

Seeing as this is a PopCap puzzle game, it is also loaded to the brim with bonus content. The single-player is reasonably long as you go through a variety of stages with all ten characters, each level tailored to their unique skills. After that you can replay any stage with a character of your choosing, making some much easier and others harder. You have challenges where they put more orange pegs on the same maps, as well as a handful of other levels that also include challenges. Duel mode allows you to play back and forth with a friend or bot to compete for score, though the addition of the massive bonus pool if you get Extreme Fever by hitting the last peg makes it kind of really unbalanced. 

As stated, the graphics and sound are cartoony and simple, but work because they are so visually appealing. It's hardly a graphical powerhouse, but the absurd levels of particle effects, explosions, and rainbows are enough to make your eyes bleed.

I am the king of Peggle.

Is Peggle worth looking into? Well, that depends on how much you hate having free time. Despite it's simplicity, PopCap continues to pander digital crack in the form of their casual games, and Peggle is no exception. It's out on pretty much everything (game consoles, phones, World of Warcraft, you name it) and due to its simplistic nature runs well on all devices as well. Considering the iOS version is only $2, I'd suggest picking it up on that platform personally, though the Steam version also has a tendency to go on sale.

While it's easy to dismiss Peggle as a stupid game, it is actually quite a bit of fun in an addicting, somewhat shallow way. Regardless, it's the packaging and the experience that totally sells it, so if you are ready to take the plunge hold your breath and dive in.

Just remember to come up for air. Literally.

Four out of five stars. 

Thanks, hippie.

Swords and Soldiers HD

The Short


Pros
- Simple to pickup 2D RTS game with a surprising amount of depth
- Play as three distinct races: Vikings, Aztecs, or Chinese
- Decent-length campaigns and challenges keep the value up
- Has a nice, cartoony look about it
- Story is inane stupidity that perfectly compliments the goofy visuals
- Balancing units, magic, mana, and gold can get complicated quick
- Surprisingly addicting, plays best on a tablet (Kindle Fire, in my case)

Cons
- Does look a bit like a glorified flash game
- Some levels can be unfairly difficult
- Computer/tablet versions don't have split screen multiplayer
- Voices get annoying pretty quick

Time for some silly slaughter

The Long

Swords and Soldiers, despite having perhaps the most unimaginative name in the world, is a surprisingly competent indie RTS. And while I say "RTS" I could also say it's a Tower Defense game, or even a Reverse Tower Defense game. It combines elements from all these genres, while still being both simple enough to easily be picked up by your mom, while complex enough that some genuine strategy is required. It's RTS-lite, on a 2D plain, and it makes for an excellent game to pass the time with (especially on your phone or tablet).

Vikings vs Aztecs? Fighting over BBQ sause? Alright...

The core goal of the game is simple: kill the other base. In order to do that, you'll have to build miners (who gather gold automatically from nearby gold mines), construct towers (on pre-determined spots), learn and use magic, and amass an army. There's about five distinct units for each civilization, and while that doesn't sound like a lot, they vary so differently that it's more than enough. You also have around four-five spells at your disposal, ranging from a poison bomb, a heal beam, or even summoning Thor's mighty hammer as a temporary tower. 

The strategy come with the fact that most of the game (aside from unit building and spells) is automatic. Constructed units will blindly run towards the other base (usually to the right in single player), attacking whatever they find along the way until they die. While there are a few paths that split and then rejoin, for the most part you are just sending people to their deaths en masse. Since units have cooldowns, you'll have to strategies which ones to send when, and then use magic to manipulate the order they arrive to battle. Be prepared for lots of units dying and plenty of wars of attrition as you try to outsmart and outmaneuver your equally competent enemies. 

The tech tree is limited, but it is enough. 

The main strategy comes with magic. As stated you have a moderately sized arsenal, but spells can easily turn the tie of power. A properly placed heal on a Viking berserker, for instance, can have him mowing down three or four units for the cost of his one. Hitting a group of enemy miners with a poison bomb can destroy the economy long enough to get a push in. Mind controlling a powerful unit can easily turn the tide of battle. Spells cost mana, which regens automatically (and can be upgraded to regen faster for gold), so you can't just spam spells and hope you'll win. There's a fine balance between when to use offensive and defensive magic, one Swords and Soldiers skirts very well. 

Stuff can get hectic real quick.

The game wouldn't work if it were unbalanced, and luckily Swords and Soldiers pulls a Starcraft and balances its unique trio of civilizations perfectly. Vikings tend to be slower, more expensive, but also more powerful. Aztecs use unique unit abilities like poison, raising skeletons, or units that rush to overwhelm. And the Chinese have multiple immunities as well as cheap AOE damage, making them quite formidable as well. It's a good balance, and since the single-player campaign has you switch between the three of them, you can test them all and see which best suits you. 

The PSN and Wii versions have single-box multiplayer, which is cool. 

The single-player is hearty and has plenty for you to do before you'll get bored of it. On the Wii and PS3 (the PS3 has Move support) you can play single-screen multiplayer, which is great, but I don't have that version so I can't attest to its quality (I'm assuming it's mad fun based on the single player). Tablet and phone versions as well as the PC version don't support this, unfortunatly, though the PC version does have online multiplayer through Steam. 

Graphically the game's comedic, cartoony style is vibrant, endearing, and fun to look at. While I will admit it does look a bit like a high-end flash game, I'm willing to forgive it because of its zany art style and colorful cast of unique characters. Music and sounds are decent, though I got really sick of hearing the "I looooooove gold!" voice from the Viking miners whenever you build them. 

For an asking price of $10, Swords and Soldiers is worth looking into.

I personally picked up this game from the (currently going) Humble Indie Bundle for Android II, which you can get this one for beating the minimum. I heartily suggest getting it, especially if you have an Android device. It plays really well on my Kindle Fire (finally! Something to use that stupid Kindle Fire for!) and the touch-screen controls feel much more tactile than the mouse and keyboard ones (and I'd imagine playing it with a controller or Wii-Mote would be a bit harder). It's a very simple game that gets complex (the best kind!) and its charm and fine-tuned balance certainly sell it. For a normal going rate of $10 on the consoles (and with added single-seat multiplayer) I'd say to certainly give it a look. 

Four out of five stars. 

I will only play as the Vikings. Why? RED BEARDS.