Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

The Short

Pros
- Reinvented Castlevania by taking the aesthetic and mixing it with Metroid-style exploration
- Single-handedly invented the "Metroidvania" (or "Castletroid" if you're a tool) genre
- RPG elements including leveling, gear, and currency all play a role in this new style
- Fantastic 2D art mixed with some 2D and 3D backdrops make the game look good
- Music is absolutely some of the best in the series with almost all new tracks
- Long adventure, with the "inverse castle" twist still crazy
- First game to introduce Ayami Kojima's fantastic gothic artwork for the series
- Buttload of secrets, including fighting game-style magic combos
- Can be a genuine challenge if you play with the "max luck, low everything else" code, which makes the game as hard as the old-school Castlevanias (aka the best way to play SOTN)
- "WHAT IS A MAN?!"

Cons
- Game balance in terms of difficulty is all over the place.
- That being said, 99% of the game is pretty easy, the exception being a few bosses
- These said bosses you pretty much have to cheese using the broken and op items (the sword dropped in the inverse library or the Shield Rod + Alucard Shield combo)
- Recycles a lot of assets from Rondo of Blood from the CD Engine.
- Marked the official end of linear style Castlevania games, which is too bad
- Spawned roughly eight trillion modern day indie (and commercial) games that knocked off the game's formula
- Inverse castle is basically just a hard-mode straight shot, without any story and just one song for the whole area (what is up with that?)
- PSP re-release re-dubbed and retranslated all the lines. They aren't much better, but the corniness is gone, so that's a con.

Dracula: Expert on men and what they are.

The Long

Symphony of the Night was NOT the first Metroidvania game I ever played. That reward goes to Circle of the Moon, though I beat Aria of Sorrow first. I just figured I'd toss that out there just so you know I play games in totally the wrong order, and that's ok.

Anyway, everybody's heard the story, whether or not it's true. Koji Igarashi went to Sony to say that they wanted to make not a 3D, but a 2D Castlevania game on their new Playstation system. Sony told him to suck it up and make it 3D, because 3D was the future. Then Koji went to Konami, and Konami said "No 2D Castlevania, no Metal Gear Solid," so Sony relented. Then the game actually sold pretty badly on release and only really picked up after gaining a cult following a few years down the road (enough to get it "Greatest Hits" status, at least).

I think this story is totally fake, but it does prove a point: game developers know what is good for their series. Most of the time. If you look at Symphony of the Night and compare it to the "modern" 3D Castlevania 64, it's pretty clear that Sony got the way better deal out of this.

Nintendo really should have looked into that "Blast Processing" tech when it had the chance. 

Anyway, the game is pretty much a legend at this point, because it spawned the genre that Castlevania stuck pretty rigidly too in regards to it's handheld iterations for over a decade. It wasn't until Lords of Shadow had to show up and ruin everything that our 2D Castlevanias were squarely in the "Metroidvania" category of game design.

But let's say you know nothing about this nonsense I'm spouting, and need a full rundown. Is this game good? Has it aged well? Is it worth playing on it's re-release on every gaming system ever? Well...probably. I guess. Here's a review anyway.

That's using your head. 

Story-wise, it's the same old nonsense, though it does present it in an interesting way. The game actually starts on the last level of Rondo of Blood (complete with it's level intro graphic, though it calls the stage "Bloodlines," which is in fact the first stage in Rondo of Blood. Come on, Konami, I'm just a huge nerd, I didn't even design the game and I noticed this!), where you as Rictor Belmont bust into Dracula's joint and whip him good. Following which you get a massive text crawl explaining Rictor is missing, and Dracula's son Alucard (last seen in Castlevania III: True Blood) is off to punch him in the face and blow up his castle.

So you play as Alucard instead of a whipping Belmont. This isn't the first time we've mixed it up (Bloodlines didn't have a Belmont, and it had a dude with a whip and a dude with a spear), but the fact there are no whips at all until after you beat the game and enter an unlock to play as Rictor is pretty unique.

Anyway, the story's simple. Rictor's lost his marbles and thinks he's the king of Castlevania, and his sister Maria (who has gone from being a tiny girl to an actual woman) wants Alucard to beat some sense into him. The game does have different endings (based on if you kill Rictor or bring him to his senses, which unlocks a buttload more game to play) which is neat, but the story is hardly worth mentioning.

Minus the atrocious script and god-awful voice acting. It's so bad it's downright lovely. Seriously, I really, really dig this game's atrocious voice actors. They weren't even trying.

You tell 'em, Rictor. 

No, the biggest change is this is not a linear, straight shot Castlevania game. Instead, you as Alucard are tasked to explore the entirety of the castle, gaining power-ups and items that allow you to access further and deeper portions in your quest to find the princess. Wait, that's Mario. Whatever. 

If that sounds like Metroid, then you're both right and have reading comprehension, because I only mentioned that like fifteen times already. The map screen? Ripped from Metroid. Power ups like double jump to get to new areas? Metroid. It does have a few super cool changes, like Alucard can change into a sprinting dog, form of mist to pass through grates and other small areas, and a bat that can fly, all of which unlock new areas to further your exploration. It's cool, and you can see how they took the Metroid formula, flavored it up with some Castlevania style, and it ended up alright. 

The main difference is this isn't a game that you can speed run, nor one that is based on skill like Metroid or the earlier Castlevanias. While, yes, some skill is required for the bosses, the game actually has a level-up system, similar to Simon's Quest. Sort of. Only not at all. I just thought I'd drop that comparison for some reason.

You get XP and level, learn spells by inputting fighting game-style combo moves, find new weapons and armor and equip them, all in a 2D platforming sense. This isn't the first time this has been done (one could argue Zelda 2 did it a billion years before), but it actually feels...well, good. While skill can technically be replaced with level grinding and number crunching, it's still very satisfying to get that 3D "Level Up!" text and have Alucard glow all crazy. Mixing RPG elements with Metroid exploration was, frankly, brilliant, and it shows because they kept using it for future games.

The combination of 2D and 3D in the backgrounds makes this game gorgeous. 

All is not perfect in Symphony of the Night, however. While the equips and level up system are nice, they're also a bit simple. In fact, the whole game feels a bit dumbed down. Focus isn't really on the enemies or the challenge, the meticulous platforming and merciless bosses. Instead it's about exploration and the adventure of finding every secret and rotting in every nook and cranny the castle has to offer. Is this bad? No, not really. But it is quite different from other Castlevania games in nearly every regard. As well as much, much easier. 

While one can argue the second or inverse castle offers the real challenge (and it does), the whole first half of the game is an absolute cakewalk. This is mostly because Alucard, unlike his Belmont buddies in earlier games, controls like a dream. He slides gracefully with way too many frames of animation across the screen, can change his direction mid-air, can easily morph into any animal or form he wants, and has a quick-dash to get him out of sticky situations (or just slide across the floor for fun in reverse). Much like Super Castlevania IV, the game didn't really scale it's difficulty for all these new abilities, meaning if you even have a basic grasp of how to play a 2D platformer you'll stomp your way through this game in no time. Minus the few secret bosses that you have to cheese to beat with the absolutely broken "ultra" weapons. Balance is thrown out the window pretty quickly in, and it just keeps blasting out of control from there. You could be murdering things without even trying, take a wrong turn, and die in two hits. It's a bit like a massive mixed bag of imbalance. 

That looks like a good place to go. 

What isn't a giant mixed bag of imbalance is the graphics and music. I'll say I think this is one of the best looking and sounding PS1 games out there, and certainly the best 2D one. The pixel art is phenomenal and gothic, with the backgrounds often hybridizing 2D and 3D elements to make it feel both modern and retro. As mentioned, Alucard has way too many frames of pixelated animation to be legal, and the enemies all look phenomenal, from the huge bosses to the tiny skeletons.

The music is also absolutely rocking, so much so I actually imported the soundtrack. The opening song (which I will embed below) is probably one of my favorite intro songs in a game to date, with all the rest being just as fantastic. I really only have two gripes: the absence of any "classic" Castlevania tunes (Bloody Tears, Vampire Hunter, etc.) and the fact that the inverted castle uses the same song for 90% of it. Seriously? And it isn't even that great of a song compared to the rest. Come on, guys.

Now that's rockin.'

Symphony of the Night is difficult to review, mostly because of my immense love for the linear Castlevania games. That being said, I absolutely fell in love with SOTN after I first played it, and even to this day I often revisit the game and rebeat it, both with Alucard and the unlocked Rictor. While it does have some serious balance problems, and most skill is easily replaced by grinding or just knowing where the broken items are, Symphony of the Night remains a complete and wholly decent adventure into Dracula's lair. While I honestly wouldn't rank it up as high on my favorites as the best 2D linear Castlevania games, I can say it is still one of my favorites in the series, and highly recommend you get the re-release on PSN or Xbox 360 if you haven't already. 

A new direction, a new style for Castlevania, and a hundred indie game creators rejoice. Finally, something they can overuse now that they've ground duel-stick shooters into the ground.

Four out of five stars. 

What is going on here I don't even know.

Metal Slug X: Super Vehicle - 001

The Short

Pros
- Basically Metal Slug 2 without any of the problems
- New enemies, weapons, and slight tweaks to the levels make this the definitive version of Metal Slug 2
- No slowdown, even on the PS1 version
- PS1 version has a level select
- One of the funnest run-n-gun games to date
- Finds a perfect balance between skill and arcade challenge

Cons
- Renders Metal Slug 2 redundant

Metal Slug: Where you kill land-boats one gun at a time

The Long

I loved Metal Slug 2, but the problems with the slowdown really killed the game's flow for me. Luckily, it seems SNK realized they screwed up, because shortly after the release of Metal Slug 2 they cleaned up the game, made a few adjustments, and released Metal Slug X. Metal Slug X was also the first Metal Slug game released in the US on the PS1, so for most people (myself included) this was the first Metal Slug game they ever played in the comfort of their own home.

And hoo, boy, is it a good one!

Suck it, Nazi Laser Death Sub!

As I stated in my Metal Slug 2 review, I consider the second installment in this series to be the absolute best one. While many can argue that Metal Slug 3 is the craziest (and the longest), it also is absurdly difficult to the point that the game can be very frustrating (not to mention the final level is way too long). While that discussion will be reserved for the Metal Slug 3 review, I will say this: Metal Slug X is the perfect balance of skill and cheap deaths, making it for a fantastic Metal Slug game and the absolute funnest. 

Power-ups are frequent and feel great. Vehicles (aka "Slugs") are also all over the place, and a skilled player will be able to keep them for long durations of time. Enemies are plentiful but never overly difficult, and even the final batch of enemies (the aliens) are a new challenge but can be mastered if you are good enough at jumping and shooting their space-blob-bullets. This is one of the few Metal Slug games were I could actually one-coin the whole game (yeah. Really. The only one) while I was in my prime on the PS1. This makes you feel like you are always in control, and the game never throws anything particularly unfair at you.

Bats with potions. I hate those guys. 

Now, in argument that means this is a "bad" arcade game, as it won't suck your quarters as much as Metal Slug 3 does. But since X is clearly intended to be the "home" version of Metal Slug 2, I think it's perfect. You don't have to continue like crazy (though if you do you have unlimited lives) and you can get a good run going and actually save prisoners at the end of the levels. 

Let's go over the brief changes between X and 2, since the majority of the game is exactly the same. There's a new weapon, the Iron Lizard (though I swear the guy says "Iron Eagle" when you pick it up) that is like an explosive remote-control car that zooms away from you on the ground when shot. There's new enemies like mummy-dogs, and the first-level boss has been moved to a mid-level boss and replaced with the standing-tank-thing from Metal Slug, which is kind of neat. They also changed a few levels in very small ways (the starting level is at night instead of during the day now for some reason), but overall this is pretty much the exact same game, just refined to an excellent shine. 

I really love this game's bosses. 

Aside from that, there really isn't much to say that hasn't been, except this is my absolute favorite Metal Slug game. It's well balanced, has fantastic setpieces, is never unfair or unjustly cruel, has a fun story with a goofy "plot twist" at the end, and is an absolute riot co-op. While it might be the easiest Metal Slug game (at least out of the early ones), that isn't to say it's a pushover. It strikes a good balance between visceral satisfaction and edge-of-your-seat stress, which is exactly what the series needed.

Metal Slug X is also a fantastic PS1 port, with all the slowdown gone and even with a stage select. This is where I spent most of my days, but it's also on the PSP, PS2, and Wii as part of the Metal Slug Anthology. I personally think that whole collection is worth it for X alone (and all other six games are a bonus), but hey...to each his own.

Regardless, you should play this game. If you have a friend who likes blasting stuff as much as you, grab him or her, sit in front of your TV, and get shootin' at those nazies, mummies, aliens, bats, and tank-boats. Metal Slug don't get better than this.

Five out of five stars. 

And yes, the mummy level song will still get stuck in your head. 

Chrono Trigger

The Short


Pros
- One of the most definitive JRPGs ever made
- Combines the talents of industry greats: Hironobu Sakaguchi, Nobuo Uematsu, Yasunori Mitsuda, and artist Akira Toriyama
- Beautiful graphics with a realized art style
- Excellent music throughout full of memorable tracks
- Unique gameplay system mixes the ATB system from Final Fantasy with combo tech attacks
- Charming and interesting story with some genuinely clever reveals
- Fourteen endings; introduced the New Game + system to tackle them all (DS version has seventeen endings)

Cons
- First playthrough is short; only 15-20 hours
- Game is exceptionally easy
- Adventure is linear until the very, very end
- Getting an original cartridge on the SNES can be a bit pricey
- Frog doesn't talk like a weird old English gentleman in the DS re-release. What the heck, guys?

You said it, Lucca

The Long

There is nothing I could say about Chrono Trigger that hasn't already been said, so I won't even try. Chrono Trigger is widely considered to be the definitive JRPG, and I am inclined to agree with that. Five out of five stars, review over. 

...in all seriousness, odds are if you are reading this review you've played or at least heard of Chrono Trigger. If you haven't, then you really need to get on the ball and play this game RIGHT NOW. There's a good reason why it's so revered by fans even to this day. Chrono Trigger is an absolutely incredible experience from beginning to end, and also serves as perhaps the best entry point for anyone into JRPGS. The only downside I could see with that plan is that if this is the first JRPG you ever played, it would be hard for anything else to even compare.

But enough of me rambling vaguely; let's get into gritty specifics. 

Rude, dude. 

Chrono Trigger's story is one part whimsy, one part post-apocalyptic, and one part AWESOME. Ok, I don't know how "awesome" could be a part, but the point still stands: Chrono Trigger has an excellent story. While you could argue it doesn't exactly reach the emotional depths of games like Final Fantasy VI, it's such a cleverly written tale you can't help but love it, and the fact it literally exhumes charm probably doesn't hurt either.

It starts out simple: while attending a millennial fair, you (the mute protagonist "Chrono" [or "Brono" if you are GiantBomb]) mess up your sciency friend Lucca's teleporter and TRAVEL BACK IN TIME! After screwing up the timeline in a plot somewhat similar to Back to the Future (except with less mother/son creepy incest stuff) you have to set things right, only for things to go wrong again. Eventually you discover a rather shocking truth: in the year 1999, a creature called Lavos emerges from within the bowels of the planet and essentially blows everything up. It's up to you and your time-travelling pals from throughout history to find the truth behind Lavos, his origins, and how to stop him before he blows up the world. Pretty good stuff, eh?

My name is Gato/I have metal joints/Beat me up/And earn fifteen silver points! 

As a whole, the overarching story is reasonably compelling, but where Chrono Trigger shines is in its little, character driven moments. Your cast of characters is as diverse as as it weird: you have three "normal" people from your time, but you also pick up a robot, a cavewoman, an anthropomorphic frog, and even an optional bad guy turned good. What makes Chrono Trigger fascinating is the fact that each of these characters have deep and interesting backstories, which are often explained as you time travel around the world. I don't want to spoil anything in particular (though seriously...everybody's played this game) but visiting one particular villain as a child and realizing exactly why he's such a jerk was one of the most rewarding and incredible twists in the game. Because of the time-travel element, you can actually visit moments from character's pasts, finally seeing things the characters allude to throughout the whole story.

And don't even get me started on Lucca's optional visit to her past. That's "Cyan and the Phantom Train" levels of emotional insides-pulling. 

Oh bugger.

If there's only one real complaint I can lobby against the story, its that the protagonist (Chrono) is woefully underdeveloped. They went for the "silent protagonist" route here, which is a cheap trick used to have the player project themselves onto the character, and it works out...ok here. I mean, Chrono has a nice mom, I have a nice mom. Chrono has a cat, I had a cat. I'm feelin' it. But when compared to the other characters, who feel exceptionally fleshed out and interesting (with maybe the exception of Magus, though you do get a large chunk of his past revealed), Chrono is completely stale.

Not to mention a rather large twist at about the 3/4 mark involving Chrono completely shatters the idea of self projection onto the character and makes me wonder exactly what they were thinking with him. I mean, I liked the twist. It was shocking and there was no way I saw it coming. But in terms of blending narrative, gameplay, and player experience...it felt a bit out of place.

All this aside, I will say this final bit about the story: it does the little things right. Frog talking in old English even though nobody else in his time period does, and even he didn't talk in old English before he came a frog is a hilarious touch that might have not been intentional, but I don't care. Having Ozzie, the comical villain who looks more than a little bit like Piccolo from Dragon Ball Z, be defeated by a cat. Leaving Robo, because he's a robot, four hundred years in the past and then simply zipping forward and picking him up after his centuries-long task is complete. There are just too many fantastic, little things about Chrono Trigger that make it charming, heartbreaking, and captivating to mention. It isn't really some sweeping, broad melodrama, but it doesn't have to be. It's more like if Final Fantasy had a baby with Mario RPG, and I love it.

Oh Spekkio, you have beaten me far too many times. 

Beyond the story, the gameplay mechanics in Chrono Trigger are a blast. The first thing you'll notice when engaging in a battle is that it doesn't fade out into some side battle screen; when you see enemies while running around, touching them engages in a battle then and there. Enemies wander around during the battles, and their positions relative to each other affect certain area-of-effect moves your characters can pull off. While this isn't exactly novel now in a world where western action RPGs are the norm, for JRPGs past and present this concept of a hybrid battle system is unique. 

The system plays a lot like the SNES and PS1 Final Fantasy games: you have a bar that gradually fills (based on your Speed stat), and when it maxes out that character can take his or her turn. The enemies also have bars (which you don't see), so executing commands quickly and skillfully is key. The trick here is that while in most Final Fantasy games you have to order commands one at a time for each character, taking turns. Not so in Chrono Trigger! The other unique twist is the idea of Duel- and Triple-Techs. Essentially combining magic moves, as characters level up and learn new abilities they also learn ways to combine these abilities with those of other characters. For example, while Chrono and Frog will both learn moves involving slashes, having both characters ready to go at the same time will allow a combined X-Slash for much more damage. Things really get crazy with Triple-Techs, where all three party members unleash devastating magics/skills at the same time. Pretty cool.

Arial robot strike!

Perhaps my only complaint regarding the battles are that they tend to be too easy. If you aren't a MP hog and know how to ration it out (and use items to decrease costs), you can easily breeze through this game with your powerful abilities. I only died once during my playthrough, and that was against an optional boss that I hadn't bothered leveling for (or even equipping the right party members). While for the JRPG newbie it might provide a little difficulty, any vet of the genre will easily breeze through Chrono Trigger.

Another complaint one might lobby is the fact that Chrono Trigger is incredibly linear the first playthrough. Now, I'm not saying you don't have freedom. Yes, you technically can warp around time and do some weird stuff, but in truth the game is designed to send you down a straight path all the way until you get the flying time machine ship...thing. Once you hit that point there's a limited selection of side quests you can do right before the final dungeon. It actually reminded me a lot of how Final Fantasy X is set up, with the game nudging you along the right path until you get to the end and saying "Oh, right...nonlinear. Here, have some sidequests."

I'd normally complain about this (especially because Final Fantasy XIII does it poorly and it drives me crazy), but I really...can't. This is because Chrono Trigger is such a tightly designed system around its linear(esque) pathway. Story beats hit at exactly the right moment, the pacing such that you feel rewarded at exactly the right intervals with a big plot reveal or event. It's immaculately timed from beginning to end, fusing it's solid (if easy) gameplay with story elements to keep things rewarding. I really can't hate on it at all, because as an experience it's solid. And if a game is linear but the experience solid, then it worked. Chrono Trigger works. 

And oh man...the soundtrack...

Graphically, Chrono Trigger is delightful. Akira Toriyama (the artist behind Dragon Ball Z and the Dragon Quest games) is at his best here, with wacky and charming character designs that are translated perfectly into their 16-bit sprites. The game has a warm color pallet, even in the darker areas, and everything blends together exceptionally well. And while it does use some Mode-7 trickery, it never looks corny or forced (even the "space-car race"). It's rare that sprites can have both a wide range of emotions and look unique and great doing it, but Chrono Trigger is a cut above the rest in that department. 

If I only have one complaint it's that Ayla's character design looks a little stupid, but she's a cavewoman so...I guess I'll survive. Besides, Frog's general awesomeness makes up for it.

More music!

The soundtrack is exceptional, to say the very least. Many consider it the best video game soundtrack ever; I personally put it just inches behind Final Fantasy VI, but that is hardly an insult. Every song on the soundtrack is memorable, which is something you can rarely say for any album, video game or otherwise. What I especially enjoy is the shift in tones between time periods. In the prehistoric period the music is more chaotic and drum reliant, while as you travel forward in time it fits the unique themes of where you are, all the way up to the funky kickin' rock beats of the future. I just...can't describe it any more. Go find a playlist on youtube and listen to them all. Seriously. It's incredible. 

Yes, more. Get over it. 

Chrono Trigger is a bonified masterpiece. There's just no question about it. Even today, where JRPGs are a dime a dozen, Chrono Trigger still stands out amongst the throng as the definitive JRPG experience. I replayed it on my original Super Nintendo cart a few months ago in preparation for a review, just to see if it really held up when compared to modern games. Guess what? It absolutely does. There's a reason they can keep re-releasing this game on the DS and PS3 and Wii Virtual Console and even the freaking iPhone without making any changes: Chrono Trigger is solid to this day. And not just solid, fantastic.

As I said before, if you haven't played Chrono Trigger and you are reading this blog...what is wrong with you? Clearly you love video games, how on earth did you miss this game?! Run (don't walk) to your local gaming store, or to your PS3 or Wii or iPhone or whatever the heck you own and get this game. Seriously. You will not regret it. 

I already gave a star score, but what the heck...here it is again: FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS. 

I liked it so much I made this awesome perler bead creation for my wall. See more at my wife's blog. 

Bonus: The most badass scene in the game.

Final Fantasy VII

The Short


Pros
- Solid JRPG gameplay elements with the materia system
- Limit Breaks drastically change battle strategies
- Long adventure that spans three discs
- In-battle graphics look quite good
- Music is excellent, as usual
- Has some genuinely memorable story moments (leaving Midgar, Golden Chocobo, etc.)
- Lots of side-stuff to do before the end of the game
- Barret is a massive stereotype but is still awesome

Cons
- Everything aside from the battle graphics looks hideous
- Dialogue between characters is stilted and very poor
- Story starts off strong and quickly devolves into a convoluted, meaningless mess
- Materia system is clever, but there isn't much differentiating the characters save Limit Breaks
- Sephiroth is a lame villain. There, I said it.
- Square-Enix used this as an excuse to make a bajillion crappy spin-off games

Still love the simple title screen

The Long


There is no doubt in anyone's mind the impact Final Fantasy VII had on the industry, in multiple facets. First off, it came out on the Sony Playstation, a new contender to the console market that opted to use CD-ROMs over the usual cartridges, and people were seriously wondering if it could contend with the highly advertised Nintendo 64. Second, the JRPG market hadn't exactly been nonexistent in the US, but it certainly wasn't pushing copies as much as it does now. Lastly, it ushered in a new era of something we now are trying to ween out of our games: the cutscene.

Final Fantasy VII's achievements cannot be understated. For many, this was their first introduction to a JRPG (or an RPG altogether), their first time seeing a full-3D video game on a console, and their first exposure to a game with a long, epic storyline. I'm certain it is for this reason that people look back on this game with extreme fondness, and why Square-Enix is more than willing to capitalize on that fondness by releasing a billion spin-off games to rake in the cash, as well as a movie and who knows what else they currently have in store.

In a world fresh off pixel art, this certainly turned heads

But this isn't a review of the game in 1997. It's 2012, and the Final Fantasy series has doubled in its entries (more so if you count X-2 and XIII-2). After all these years, has this game really stood the test of time? Does the Soldier from Midgar still have the same emotional resonance as he did nearly fifteen years ago?

Well....yes and no. Let's take a look. 

And kill the first scorpion boss...guy. 

The story starts off with a bang. Cloud and Barret are part of a rebel group called AVALANCHE (yes, all caps, Barret must have had Caps Lock on when he typed up the name) who are convinced the Shinra corporation are using Mako reactors to suck up energy from the planet, essentially killing it. And when I say this I actually mean only Barret cares, because Cloud seems just along for the ride. An Ex-Soldier, an elite military force of Shinra, Cloud essentially has defected but for unknown reasons. He just sort of showed up at the mixer, I guess, and got roped into blowing up a reactor. It's a long while before you really understand what's going on, but whatever; mystery or something.

Anyway, probably because their attempt at environmentalism involves essentially being douchebag terrorists, eventually AVALANCHE gets worked up good and they find out their real enemy is Sephiroth, a trench-coat wearing crazy with a sword almost as absurdly large as Cloud's. It seems Shinra, along with killing the planet, also did a bunch of wild experiments with Jenova (which looks oddly like "Jehovah," which I'm certain isn't a coincidence), some alien thing that has magic, essentially. Sephiroth was made from Jenovah's cells...or something? Anyway he's pissed and now he wants to blow up the planet (ironic, considering you were blowing stuff up to save the planet at the beginning. Or at least I think that's ironic. I don't know.), so naturally you have to stop him. Cloud also has some sort of relationship with Sephiroth (no, not like that) that he can't remember fully, which he also has to come to terms with over the course of the game.

This is how the game actually looks. The sharper screenshots are up-rezed emulator versions. 

While the story certainly has quite a few twists and turns, it seems to play fast and loose with nearly every aspect involved. Cloud's backstory is intentionally long and convoluted, but the game doesn't really know how to present information in the correct order for you to completely understand it. The same goes for Sephiroth and Jenova; there seems to be a lot here, but the story seems to like to drip with ambiguity so much that when it finally starts making reveals, it feels too little, too late. Yes, I know fans could easily chew me out because they know every aspect of this story in detail, and it's worth noting I've played this game no less than four times, watched the movie, played awful Dirge of Cerberous, and read wikis trying to better explain it. I get it now, but my first run there was no way I fully understood it. The story is a convoluted mess, one that revels in its confusion all the way up to the weird, goofy-looking final boss fight.

Compared to the tight stories of Final Fantasy VI, and even Final Fantasy IV, Final Fantasy VII's "convoluted by design" approach just comes off as bad storytelling. It keeps you in the dark about the important things for so long, often I'd watch entire cutscenes thinking "Wait, I'm supposed to be understanding this, right? Yes? How is Sephiroth in that orb thing when I'm pretty sure he just killed Aeris? Wait, is that a clone? So Cloud is a clone? How does that make sense? How will Sephiroth destroying the earth bring Jenova back? And isn't she already back; I fought her like five times and she has her own battle theme!"

Barret actually sums up Final Fantasy VII's story pretty well during a cutscene late in the game. "I've been here since the beginning, and I still don't know what the hell's going on!"

Cloud needed a lobotomy to piece the finer details of this story together. 

This isn't helped by the fact the translation is piss-poor overall. While I appreciate the characterization of certain people (Barret, despite being a stereotype, certainly has a unique flavor of dialect, as does Cid), most of it just muddles about for text box after text box. Again, the story is playing fast and loose, getting right of tight, cognitive narrative for a more melodramatic and wordy approach. People often point to this as the radical shift in the Final Fantasy formula, and I'd have to agree. There's less "Fantasy" here, and the lightheartedness of the previous games is completely abandoned. Instead we have moping characters, long bouts of expository and melodramatic dialogue (including a whole flashback after you leave Midgar that's something like a 30-45 minute infodump flashback that later turns out to be an inaccurate memory. Gee, thanks for wasting my time), and a plodding, plodding plot. I'm not saying these games didn't have melodrama before; Final Fantasy IV was full of it, and even Final Fantasy VI had its share, but this was when Square started loving it's melodrama more than it loved creating concise, realistic characters. And again, paired with that translation, the whole thing reads like a bloated mess written by children.

And before I get hatemail, seriously consider this game's story, all its "finer points" and all. You probably are glazing over massive chunks of text you just skip through now to get to the "good parts." Having recently replayed this game, I can tell you it's really wordy, and not in a good way. And somehow, despite all these words, they still don't nail anything down solid until the third disc at least. It's poor writing, people. I'm sorry to ruin your memories.

Pictured: Fifteen year old spoiler. 

While I'm killing sacred cows and burning all my bridges, I'd like to address one thing that's bugged me for years: the reaction people had to Aeris' (or "Aerith," if you are a Japanese purist) death. Whenever anybody makes a list of the most "shocking twists" or "scenes that would make you cry," this always seems to cap out as #1 for some inexplicable reason. People have said hundreds of times before this isn't the first JRPG where a prominent character dies (Final Fantasy VI and IV off 'em like no tomorrow), but since this was a lot of people's first JRPG (and first story-driven gaming experience), I guess it had an impact.

I do not get it.

I played Final Fantasy VII after IX, so maybe I'm jut tainted, but I had literally no reaction when Aeris was killed. This is probably because as a charater she's stupidly bland. The love triangle in this game is something recent young adult novels are doing in spades (just swap the genders around), and anime has been doing forever. Both Tifa and Aeris are massive character archetypes, with Tifa being the "childhood friend" you obviously inevitably go for, and Aeris is the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" with a touch of that "Virgin Innocence" everybody seems to get off on. Both these characters have no depth to their characters, but Aeris is especially annoying. She never takes anything seriously, is constantly flirty but never deliberate enough to know if she actually is taking this relationship seriously, and because of that she comes off as annoying. When she died I was actually glad, because now at last Cloud would finally realize that Tifa was the girl for him (even though her personality was just as wooden, at least she wasn't an naive idiot about it all). 

So yes, it was shocking because it came out of nowhere, but I had no emotional character resonance. If you want a death to be impactful, there has to be some like for a character's personality rather than having her cater to the lowest common denominator (which Aeris does perfectly, being that anime dream girl fitting the Manic Pixie Dream Girl stereotype so popular amongst us lonely nerdy folk). Aeris was playing you, guys. Playing your lonely selves back in 1997. Most of you are now married or at least have experienced a serious relationship, and if you go back and play this game, really paying attention, you'll realize Aeris is nothing more than fluffy pandering. She isn't the type of girl you'd want a serious relationship with. I was being pandered to, and so her death was never impactful for me. 

That was a long tangent. Let's talk about something else. 

So the story isn't fantastic but it works enough to progress the game forward, so what about the game itself? It's your standard JRPG fare at it's core: you wait for your active time meter to fill up, pick an option from a menu, and watch as your character executes it. We are down to three party members at a time now (down from four in FFVI and five in FFIV), meaning it's simpler, but they do throw a few key changes into the mix.

The first is Limit Breaks. Technically Final Fantasy VI had these, but they only happened when you were at critical health and popped out randomly, and since that game wasn't particularly difficult you probably didn't see any of them. In Final Fantasy VII, every time you are hit your "Limit" gauge rises, eventually filling up. When it does Attack is replaced with LIMIT (in rainbow colors!) and you can execute a special power move. The more you use Limits the more you unlock, getting to higher tiers (which means the gauge takes longer to fill but the attacks are much better) until you finally get an ultimate one that just murders everything dead instantly. Awesome.

The Limit Breaks change things up because technically you can save them. While you can't "Attack," you can use magic or any other abilities (and as you can see from the screenshot above, you can have a lot equipped), so if you get one just before a boss you can save it rather than waste it on weaklings. It's a minor tactical change, but a cool one. They also look really awesome when you execute them, so that's a bonus. 

Battles are fast paced like Final Fantasy VI, which is appreciated considering how much the series slowed down in games that followed. 

But the big pull is obviously the Materia system, which is now pretty much famous in its application. Rather than learn magic spells or abilities (or having them inherent to certain characters or classes like all previous Final Fantasy games), Final Fantasy VII says "Screw it, make your own character classes" and gives you all the parts to do so. Want to make a battle-mage? You can. Want all your characters to double as healers (a good tactic, FYI)? You can do that too. 

Essentially every weapon and accessory you equip (and that's all you equip; gone are the long lists of armor, relics, and accessories from Final Fantasy VI) has a set number of "slots." In these you can equip Materia like "Fire" or "Heal" or "Steal," giving your character these abilities. A neat trick is that some Materia slots are linked, meaning if you put a Heal and All together you can cast healing spells on your whole party (rather then just having the option normally with a Cure spell). It's too bad they didn't go nuts with this (and make it so if you mixed "Fire" and "Ice" you could cast a duel spell or something), but like the streamlined item system they were clearly trying to keep it simpler for a wider audience, which is fine. 

AP: It's like XP, but for your magic rocks. 

It's a cool system in one respect, but in others it is lacking. Materia levels up when its equipped, which is how you learn new spells, but it does it very slowly. If you don't realize this is going on and swap out a materia for an "identical" one, you'll be basically starting over with your leveling, which means you should be buying all the materia up at the beginning and then never buying any ever again or else you'll have to start the leveling process over with each new piece. It would have been nice if all materia's XP/Level was shared across all types (ex: if you had a Lv 2 Heal, all Heal materia you bought from then on out would be level 2), but that might have made the game easier than it already is so...whatever. 

The other problem is it removes all character uniqueness. In the other Final Fantasy games (especially IV and VI), each character felt unique and personalized because they had their own unique move (or set of moves in IV's case) that only they could use. This helped build characterization in the battles, because you knew Edgar was the machine guy because he had a move called "Machines" that nobody else did, and Locke was the thief because he had "Steal." In Final Fantasy VII, there is no character uniqueness. You can swap your heavy attacker to a mage with just a few materia swaps. You can give somebody all your Command materia so they have the biggest battle menu in the history of the world (again, that one screenshot). Your options are increased, but at the cost of that subtle characterization. And while there are a few stat differences between characters early on, they are so small there's no reason to just pick whomever you want to do whatever regardless of what the game wants. Characters are no longer unique in battle (except Limit Breaks), which I feel is a weakness of this system.

I think that's an appropriately named Limit Break based on the character. 

The game also has a dodgy difficulty curve, and by that I mean it's really easy until it isn't. The game requires a rather hearty amount of grinding, which it will gladly give you due to its insane random encounter rate. Bosses can be difficult but rarely require any strategy, with the whole "Don't attack when they are in counter mode!" usually being the only level of "depth" to them. It's just mash away until you win, which feels tedious (or turns into you waiting for a Limit Break). I breezed through most of the game, but I'd get weirdly stuck in some places. I wish I could remember them off the top of my head, but just know the difficulty spikes up and down, and during the rest of the time this game is a cakewalk. Again, it's really easy until it isn't. 

Battles are fast, thank goodness, with minimal loading (I really have to give Square props for that. They did well optimizing the load times on their first disc-based release) and nothing too flashy except the stupidly-long summons (another thing Final Fantasy VII "pioneered" for the series). The 3D allows for dramatic camera pans, which is fantastic, and adds a lot to the battle presentation. Again, nothing too awful, but it does fall into the "oh boy, another battle where I mash X" curse of JRPGS. 

Not going to lie: this game looks pretty awful. 

Graphically this game looks pretty damn hideous. Character's proportions are way wonky when you are running around,with massive hands and the weird skinny joints (I'm guessing because it made them easier to animate that way?), and their faces and legs look also wonky (I like Cloud's purple clown pants, though). They animate decently, but the lack of any facial expressions (something that did so very well in Final Fantasy VI) makes them seem stiff and unemotive, especially with the new free camera angle able to zoom in for close shots. Backgrounds are all pre-rendered and looked ok back in the day, but now their insanely low resolution really shows, with pixelation and blurryness the name of the game.

Battle graphics do much better, though they are still very blocky. However, after thirty hours of watching puppet Cloud with his clown pants prancing about the world with his skinny arms and noseless and mouthless face, I'll take those battle graphics anyday. Pity they couldn't put those in the main game. It's hard to take your story seriously when all the melodrama is being delivered by what looks like Chinese bootlegged action figures. 

The cutscenes were a big deal in 1997, and one of the big pushing points of the game. They look ok now, which is a testament to Square's graphic designers, but when they start moving things look bad. The animations are stiff and janky, with only select parts of bodies moving, and again: put in contrast with both the battle graphics and the much worse world sprites, there's a massive disconnect. I think this disconnect really hurts the narrative, but that might just be me. 

Uematsu does well this time around, though not as good as previous iterations. 

The music is reasonably solid throughout, with a few standout tracks (like the one above) using piano and music box to have emotional resonance. The game certainly has a "feel" to it that makes it so you can recognize any song from the game after only having heard a few, which does good in unifying things. The main melody also tends to pop up in other tracks (it does in Anxious Heart above; can you catch it?) which is a clever unifying touch as well. 

It isn't orchestrated, which considering the CD capabilities of the Playstation is a bit of a shame. I also think whatever midi mixer Uematsu used for this game isn't as good as the one on the SNES, but that's personal preference. I liked a lot of the songs in Final Fantasy VII, I just don't like the majority of them. That's contrasted to Final Fantasy IV, where I loved most of the songs, and Final Fantasy VI, where I challenge you to find a single bad one. So it does well and is still a memorable sound, but it isn't the best. 

You knew I'd talk about this. Time to burn more bridges. 

I'd also like to point out that I am so damn sick of One-Winged Angel I want to claw at my ears every time I hear it. Look, I get it. The fact it had vocals totally blew you away. You didn't see that coming because you were used to the SNES's chipset that didn't allow for that kind of thing. I understand. It surprised me too. But come on; the music aside from the vocals isn't particularly enthralling (I like the previous song, Birth of a God much better in terms of a battle song, and even Jenova Absolute is more tension building) and we've used it to death by this point. Dancing Mad blows this thing completely out of the water in terms of sheer epicness anyway. 

I'm not saying it's a bad song. It freaked me out when I was fighting Sephiroth for the last time too. It's just...old. But Sephiroth does have that totally bonkers summon at the end that destroys the solar system, so I guess all my complaints are moot. 

Skip to 3:00 for some insane fun. 

As it stands, Final Fantasy VII is a fine game, it just isn't a particularly great one. Yes, I know it has a legacy and yes, I know it was many people's first JRPG experience and it totally blew your minds. But I was a rather entrenched fan for a while (and I still really enjoy the game), but after re-playing it recently I came to realize that this game is seriously flawed, and these issues are even more noticeable fifteen years later. It will still hold a special place in my heart and I will still recommend fans of JRPGs play it, if only to know their roots, but as for being the "best game ever" (or even the best Final Fantasy game), I'd say it's a long shot away from it. 

Still, it's only $10 on the Playstation Store now, which is a pretty sweet deal. It also doesn't have anything that makes it unplayable or overly frustrating (like most old games tend to do), so it still plays fine from a modern standpoint. Just don't expect an earth-shattering revelation if this is your first time digging in, because it's an old game, and it shows. 

A relic from history, which now earns itself three out of five stars. 

The Legend of Dragoon

The Short


Pros
- Fun, complex combat system
- Ability to change between normal heroes and their "Dragoon" form
- Multiple battle songs that change throughout the game
- Lots of party members with unique combos and abilities
- Music is actually pretty good
- Really good looking CG cutscenes
- Decent in-game graphics for the PS1 era

Cons
- Story is absurd and idiotic
- While the game does have some voice acting, it is all terrible
- Load times, especially for battles, are atrocious
- Extremely linear
- Your best healer character is also the worst character
- Tries its hardest to be Final Fantasy, still falls flat
- Despite being made by Sony, has yet to see a re-release on the PS3's "PS1 Classics" downloadable service

Remind you of something? Also, this is emulator up-rezzed

The Long

The Legend of Dragoon was Sony's answer to Final Fantasy. There was no denying the force that Squaresoft had brought to the table with Final Fantasy VII, spawning not one but two generations of Sony consoles that heavily focused on the JRPG genre. Turn based, strategic RPGs had finally exploded in the West, and Sony wanted a piece of this spiky-haired pie. So it made The Legend of Dragoon, a four-disc, world-spanning adventure that more than slightly resembled its inspiration. 

The Legend of Dragoon follows the story of Dart (what is it with JRPGs and giving main characters stupid names?). When his "childhood friend" (who is a girl. Obviously) is kidnapped and his village ransacked (seriously, I'm not making this up) by evil soldiers, Dart runs after her. He finds out that he is the chosen one (if you were playing a "JRPG cliches" drinking game, you'd be hammered before beating the first disc) who can summon the power of the Dragoons, and essentially turn into big, bulky armored winged dudes that can use magic and kick butt. Of course, there's an evil empire that needs crushing, allies to be enlisted, and a massive adventure to undertake, so off you go, Dart!

Anime fairy girls with giant hammers to recruit. You know, the usual. 

The story is, for lack of a better word, stupid. Sure there are a few plot twists involving one of your characters being a traitor, and the final boss not really being the final boss, but I kid you not when I say all the key points are ripped, almost exactly, from Final Fantasy IV (spoilers incoming). Character in your party who may or not be on your side (Kane)? Check. Final boss who may or may not be under the control of somebody far worse (Goblez)? Check. Final boss is of some sort of relation to the main hero, meaning the power of family ties can eventually redeem his broken soul? Check. A bunch of people die only to be immediately replaced by new characters with the exact same stats and weapons? Check. Nobody dies permanently? Yep. This game read every single JRPG and anime cliche and stuck it in a blender with some Mario RPG and Final Fantasy and this is what came out. So if you play your JRPGs for the usual fare of "quality" melodrama mixed with brooding characters, predictable twists, and just generally poor writing...this game is for you.

The characters themselves also aren't much to write home about. As stated above, you do have two of them die or otherwise leave the party, only to be instantly replaced with somebody with the exact same stats. There's a character that is actually exactly the same as Edgar from Final Fantasy VI (complete with spear, sassy womanizing attitude, and the fact he's some king) which meant I had to keep him in my party the whole game because Edgar is awesome. But the point stays: The Legend of Dragoon's writing completely fails to impress. Oh, there is some voice acting (mostly in battle or CG cutscenes), and it's all awful and grating too. Props to Sony for trying (it took Square until the PS2 to put voices in), but it just all sounds bad. 

Yeah, but could Edgar turn into some giant, metal-winged dragon dude? I THINK NOT! Legend of Dragoon: 1.  Final Fantasy VI: 0. 

Despite the story being total garbage, the rest of the game is actually pretty decent, especially for fans of the genre. You have your traditional turn-based, three party RPG battles with plenty of enemies and loads of bosses. The game would have probably quickly become your regular grindfest had it not integrated a fun and unique battle system: timed attacks. Basically if you've played Super Mario RPG on the SNES, you'll know how this works. Press the attack button at the right time during a swing, and your character will execute a "follow up" hit. The Legend of Dragoon takes this and cranks it up to a billion. Each character starts with a usual "one button press" hit, which you can time with a handy square...thing (it works, ok?) during the attack. After you've executed a set number of hits perfectly (read: not messing up the square button pressing thing), you unlock more complex ones. Some of the ending ones are seriously 9-11 button presses, one right after the other, which results in some crazy moves and massive attack bonuses. Considering most RPGs are just the "mash X, watch stuff die" variety, adding this timing goes a long way in keeping the game fresh, and constantly giving you new combos means you are still being challenged even at the end of the game.

The downside to this is your main healer (a girl, obviously; what did you expect?) uses a bow, so she is the only character that doesn't get combos. Why? That means she's stupidly underpowered, but you can't justify taking her out of the party because you need her healing. I don't know why you'd gimp one character to completely, but...whatever. 

Pair the neat combat system the fact they all can turn into weird looking Dragoon dudes. After registering a certain number of hits (which gives you "Spirit Energy," another reason to use the harder combos) you unlock the ability to turn into a Dragoon. As a Dragoon you are stronger, can use some really wild magic (which costs your now-decreasing Spirit Energy), do more timing-based button attacks, or just generally...look cool. The magic is awesome but the cutscenes for each are really long (though not as bad as Final Fantasy VIII's summons, they do come close) so hopefully you like watching flashy PS1 effects. After your Spirit Energy runs out you are back to being boring, normal person again, and the cycle repeats. 

You have never seen a regular attack be this INTENSE

You then level, buy new weapons and items, get new party members, yada yada yada. It's standard fare from there on out, with the exception being the game is extremely linear. Think Final Fantasy X or XIII, with the game shuttling you from one dungeon to the next. The overworld is also very straightforward, with free-roaming nonexistant as you are moved from town to town. As an added bonus, if you want to go back to earlier parts their data is on earlier discs, meaning you get to disc swap up the butt if you ever want to backtrack. So don't backtrack. FORGE AHEAD, DRAGOON!

The music is surprisingly good throughout. Though it isn't Final Fantasy quality, it is generally catchy and well realized. It also uses a lot of CD quality (hur hur) instruments that make it sound better than the midi renditions of most of the PS1 era Final Fantasy games, so points to Legend of Dragoon for that.

What it really does on the music side that makes me happy is that each disc has its own "generic battle" song. Which, if you've read my other reviews, is a huge sigh of relief for me. My biggest beef with JRPGs (and what almost killed Persona 3: FES) is the fact that they use the same damn battle song throughout an entire 60 hour game. Come one! Just write a few more; how hard could it be? Legend of Dragoon mixes up the battle (and boss) songs across discs, which is awesome. So points to you again, Legend of Dragoon. You were ahead of your time.

You also had a pretty good boss song

While the CG cutscenes are really good looking, the in-game graphics are nothing to write home about. It's your usual super blurry, disproportioned polygonal anime characters with spiky hair you've seen a hundred times before. Unlike this era's RPGs, however (Legend of Dragoon came out around the middle/end of the PS1's life), things seem a bit more...blocky than they should. I know graphics mean next to nothing now since the PS1 is so old, but when compared to other games of its time Legend of Dragoon looked dated even when it was brand new.

Prepare to be Dragoon'd!

If the graphics are showing their age, it's the load times that are horrendous. I don't really mind waiting between areas or scenes, but when the battles take something like fifteen to thirty seconds to load, you know something's up. And they don't even try to mask it like Final Fantasy IX does by panning all around the battlefield or whatever. No, you have to watch the screen melt from top to bottom, slowly, and then you get the pan and are in the battle. It takes for freaking ever, and since this game is actually pretty hard (read: you'll need to grind out a few levels), you end up spending a good chunk of your game watching the screen melt. 

Just watch the beginning. See how long that takes? Urgh.

Legend of Dragoon was a game that I bought for $15 from Wal-Mart way back in the day, and then proceeded to beat the entire thing in three days straight by doing nothing else. It's an engaging experience, especially if you are a fan of this era of JRPGs, but as a whole it hasn't aged particularly gracefully. Lots of people hold a good deal of reverence for Legend of Dragoon, which is fine, but I honestly think when compared to both JRPGs before and after its release, Legend of Dragoon is found to be lacking in many areas. 

The game apparently is worth more now than what I paid for it: copies go for around $20-25 on eBay. I cannot recommend the game at this price, unless you have nostalgia for it. If the game does ever show up on PSN (which is weird that it hasn't, since Sony made it), I'd guess it would be priced around $5, which is fair but, again, this game hasn't aged particularly well. If you are dying for a PS1 era RPG and can get it for $10, it's probably worth it. If not, I'd say leave this one behind.

Though if they did make a sequel, I'd probably play it. Just saying, Sony.

For a star review, I'd give it two out of five stars. I'd probably have rated it four out of five back when I played it the first time, but I'm not reviewing how I thought of games then, I'm reviewing what I think of them now. And again: this game isn't awful (which is why it gets two instead of one or zero stars), it just hasn't really withstood the tests of time. 

At least we will always have Dart's spiky hair. And pre-rendered backdrops. 

Parasite Eve

The Short


Pros
- Unique horror RPG from Squaresoft
- Good graphics for early PS1 era
- Innovative and unique battle system and weapon upgrade system
- New Game + encourages multiple playthroughs
- Fantastic soundtrack
- Interesting story combining science with fantastic elements
- Multiple endings
- You fight a re-animated T-Rex skeleton in the Museum of Natural History. Serious Dresden files vibe.
- Only $6 on PSN

Cons
- Short
- Story hits the usual JRPG unintelligible weirdness during the last act
- Set in New York while being made by people who have no idea what New York is like
- Aya walks stupid slow
- The linear gameplay doesn't offer much in terms of leveling, weapon collection, item purchasing, etc.

Aya shows some 32-bit leg

The Long


Parasite Eve came out during Squaresoft's "silver" era of RPGs. Releasing after Final Fantasy VII but before Final Fantasy VIII and Xenogears, it was touted as an "rpg novel," based on a book by the same name published in Japan. While the sequels would take a more survival horror approach to the series, Parasite Eve is very much an RPG, combining hybrid elements from both action RPGs and ATB (active time battle, like FF IV-IX) RPGs that Squaresoft was making a billion of at the time. Completely ignoring any party systems from their previous RPGs, Parasite Eve is an anomaly in more ways than one, and because of that there is really no RPG released - even today - that is comparable with it.

Parasite Eve's story is a weird mish-mash of science, religion, and just general oddness. Basically, the mitochondria in our cells, which are the part that provide cellular energy, apparently are considered independent beings in this game. This crazy lady, calling herself Eve, has gained the power to somehow cause everybody's mitochondria to go loco, the tiny bits of the cells rebelling against the body and killing or mutating everybody (turning people into weird gel and animals into random encounters). Aya, for whatever reason, is immune to Eve's influence, and as a member of the LAPD it's her job to get rid of Eve before she royally screws everybody over.

Pictured: What nobody on the Parasite Eve dev team read

Is it stupid? Yeah, a little. But when you think of stories in video games, especially JRPGs, it really isn't that far fetched. You get to go to real-life places in New York (though the fact that Aya is a blonde bombshell and her boss is the only black man in the world just screams "Japan's view of America") just moments before (or after) Eve turns all the animals into walking mutated experience points, and it keeps the tension high while still providing enough answers to keep things interesting. It's too bad that the last chapter gets so bat-sh*t insane that I literally still do not understand what happened (it involved the Statue of Liberty and goo, which reminds me of the ending of Ghostbusters 2. Oh, and some god-baby that was born and like...blew up a boat? Oh, spoiler warning and all that) even after having beaten the game 4-5 times. Still, there is really nothing like this...well, anywhere, and especially in Squaresoft's game library, and it isn't bad enough to turn people off (until maybe the end).

The gameplay is where I really got attached to Parasite Eve. It's a totally unique experience that can be a little hard to explain, so I will provide this handy graphic I stole from the internet for your reference.

These graphics are also emulator up-rezzed. The original game looks like this, but with more BLUR

Basically, when a battle starts the camera locks and you are limited to whatever specific area of the screen you were in. Parasite Eve employs the usual "pre-rendered backdrops with 3D characters" that were a staple of PS1 era Squaresoft RPGs, so you are stuck in place until either you run or kill everything. As your AT bar (upper right, in blue) fills, you are free to run across the battlefield as much as you want, either to dodge attacks or get in a better position to shoot. That's the "active" battle part.

After your meter fills you can attack. Aya primarily uses guns, which can be upgraded to increase ammo, damage, spread, and just about everything (You can also break down guns and apply their powers to different guns, which is pretty cool if you want to make THE ULTIMATE WEAPON). When you choose to attack, that small grid appears around Aya, indicating the current weapon's range. You can shoot at enemies out of that range, but you'll probably miss. You then choose how many shots to fire off (again determined by how upgraded your weapon is), and Aya is locked in place for a second as she blasts whatever number of bullets you decided on.

It's a really clever battle system, combining ranged weapons with action-RPG elements and turn based combat to make something truly different. Back in 1990-whatever when I played this for the first time I was completely blown away. Coming off of SNES and PS1 Final Fantasy games, where characters stood on one side of the screen and waited their turn before simply executing a command, this seemed far more interactive and innovative. It's really a disappointment that they never used this again (they completely dropped it in Parasite Eve II and The Third Birthday, making them more action-shooters).

Look! I'm actively dodging attacks! In a JRPG! What is going on?!

Despite me loving this system, even I have to admit it has its flaws. Aya runs just slow enough to be annoying, making failed dodges seem more cheap than fair, and she doesn't have any other evasive moves other than simply running (no rolls, crouches, etc.). The gun upgrade system is neat but not very extensive, though it does encourage you to cycle through guns at a pretty rapid clip (lol gun pun) as you keep mixing-and-matching powers. Aya also has some magic, which is usually reserved for healing, and the gun upgrade system also applies to the various forms of body-armor you find. A major niggle I have with this game is the really, really limited inventory space. You can move stuff to a storage chest, but it's a huge pain when I can't pick up the gun I want because I have too many potions, and the game is so linear you don't always know if you can go back to a chest you left behind and pick it up later.

Parasite Eve is also a pretty short game, and not particularly difficult save the extra "dungeon" that is accessible after beating the game once. On yeah, it has a New Game + feature like Chrono Trigger, which is great feature and should be in every game. It's probably for the best that the game is short, though, since the foundations for both the story and the gameplay are a bit shaky, and trying to drag it out over a 30+ hour experience probably would have resulted it in crumbling on itself. As it stands, the 10ish hours you spend in a playthrough are a delight, like eating candy. It's great for a while, but you can't eat candy for every meal without starting to get a little sick.

Parasite Eve's soundtrack is also quite good, fitting the bill with atmospheric tracks that also make great music. The battle theme is a bit...not great, but the various places you visit have great background music, and the boss theme is quite good.

The game also looks great. If you've played Final Fantasy VIII, this game is picked right out from that era. Characters are blocky but still look better than Final Fantasy VII, backgrounds are well rendered if a bit dull (though the locals they send you to are great: zoos, hospitals, etc.), and the CG stuff was really impressive at the time, even if it hasn't aged great. The enemy design in particular is worth complimenting, taking regular animals and adding a serious dash of "messed up." It all fits into a very complete package, which is consistent with Squaresoft's standard of quality for this era. 

There is that PS1 graphical fuzziness we know and love!

As you can probably tell, I really liked Parasite Eve, despite its flaws. It's a fun ride, providing a great hybrid of horror and RPG that sticks with you even years after you've beaten it. I even liked it so much I made a game that was basically a SNES/16-bit ripoff, back when I was making DOS games in high school.

It's currently available on PSN for download as a PS1 Classic for $6. Disc copies can be found on eBay for a little more than that, used. I'd say it's certainly worth $10, which wouldn't be too hard to find. If I were to give it a star rating, it would be four out of five.