Vampire Chronicle for Matching Service

Disclaimer: I am not a fighting game master. While I'd consider myself pretty good at some of them, I don't play competitively or know any serious level of strategy when it comes to the genre. These reviews are from the perspective of a beginner to intermediate level player, and thus I can't analyze them to the particular depth many fighting game fans would need.

The Short


Pros
- The definitive collection of Darkstalkers games
- Allows you to play as any character and in any playstyle in the Darkstalkers series
- Wide roster of characters that are both weird and fantastic
- Surprisingly newcomer accessible, especially when compared to the Street Fighter games
- Characters are well animated and have lots of delightful quirks that make them fun
- Seriously, there's just a ton of content here

Cons
- Was never released in the United States, and in Japan in very limited quantities
- Sprites look like they were up-converted for the Dreamcast, and not very well
- While having a ton of options is nice, it can be overwhelming to know what to pick for what game
- The "Auto" block option is the cheapest thing ever on VS.

Ah, Darkstalkers. What happened to you? 

The Long


I absolutely love Darkstalkers. Created by Capcom after the success of their Street Fighter franchise, it was that "other" Capcom fighting game with all the movie monsters and weird characters. It's also the game the voluptuous Morrigan is from (though I bet most people know her from the Marvel vs Capcom games at this point), so it's got a bit of star cred that way.

Back during my freshman year of college, we really got into arcade emulators, and with that fighting games. We had tons of tournaments, mostly playing Marvel vs Capcom and Darkstalkers. I would like to say I got pretty good at the game, except it was against people who never play fighting games (myself included), so instead I'll just say I got really good at beating other noobs. Regardless, Darkstalkers is a fighting games series you should absolutely look at, especially if you are a modern fan of the Street Fighter IV resurgence.

A Queen Bee vs Little Red...Blue Riding Hood? Sure, why not. 

Vampire Chronicle for Matching Service, despite having a stupid name, is the absolute best collection of Darkstalkers games available. By this point in the game there had been around five Darkstalkers games (though one of them was just a re-release of a previous one with old characters...this is really starting to sound like a Capcom fighting game joint, isn't it?), with four having distinct changes in style (Darkstalkers/Vampire, Night Warriors/Vampire Hunter, Darkstalkers 3/Vampire Savior, and Vampire Savior 2). What makes Vampire Chronicle cool is the fact that you can actively interchange the fighting/playstyles between these four games on the fly (assuming the character you selected was in those games), allowing for an absolutely insane amount of customization. Was Demitri your favorite character, but you only liked the way he played in Night Warriors? Well, now you can play with him in that mode! Prefer Bulleta in her Savior 2 iteration? Well, that means you lived in Japan since Savior 2 only came out in arcades there, but hey...you can do that too! 

It's kind of nuts it lets you do this...can you imagine if you bought a Street Fighter collection and could pick if Ryu played like in Street Fighter II vs Street Fighter III Third Strike or something? It would be bananas! If anything, it shows (to what might be a negative degree) how little the Darkstalkers games have changed that older styles can still compete with newer ones. Regardless, it's usually just movesets; before any match you can pick which of the three games (Vampire, Hunter, Savior) the game will be custom-tailored too, while characters only change ever so slightly. Regardless, it's a cool thing, and has never been seen again. Even the collection released in Japan on the PS2 in 2005 is just straight ports of the three games separate; none of this inter-weaving madness we got on the Dreamcast. Dreamcast: 1, PS2: 0. 

Minus the whole "quit the console business" thing...

So how does Vampire Chronicle play? Well...like Darkstalkers, which is to say if you like Capcom fighting games you'll feel right at home here. Darkstalkers has a heavy emphasis on "Chain Combos," which is essentially the idea that normal attacks can chain together just as well as ones that chain into specials. If that just flew over your head that's ok: the point is that this game does lots of chains (though not nearly as bad as the insane Killer Instinct). Expect a lot of flashy, crazy moves that flow together well and can also be reversed/countered. Button mashers, rejoice. 

Because of this, I found Vampire Chronicle to be very friendly for beginners in terms of control. While the initial option of what playstyle to choose can be overwhelming (especially since the game is in Japanese), anyone with even a basic understanding of how fighting games work can easily start chaining together moves, throwing projectiles, and just generally doing well at the game. Similar to Guilty Gear X, this is a good game for getting your friends into fighting games, as it's weirdness and ease to pick up makes it very inviting.

You've got options is what I'm sayin'. 

Speaking of the weirdness, Vampire Chronicle has it and in spades. Going with a "monster movie" motif, it rivals the Guilty Gear series in terms of sheer oddness. You have your typical assortment of vampires (sexy or otherwise), as well as zombies, frankenstein monsters, a yeti, a werewolf, and a...robot? Little Red Riding Hood? What? 

So yeah, it's out there, but that's what makes the game fun. Attacks are flashy and absurd and make the fights almost hilarious to watch. This is matched with some really funky jazz tracks that play as you pummel each other into submission, which somehow works despite the fact that it absolutely shouldn't. 

If there's anything I can complain about the presentation it's that the game is horribly low-res. Unlike Guilty Gear X, where they bumped up all the sprites and backgrounds to match the increased output of the Dreamcast, Vampire Chronicle is pretty much a straight port from the older arcade games, and thus the game looks really fuzzy. It doesn't detract (much) from the silly animations and great character designs, but it does look dated. 

Open season on vampires. 

It's really a shame this game is so hard to find (unless you are cool with downloading and burning import Dreamcast isos), and an even bigger one that this has never been released on XBLA or PSN. Darkstalkers has been left in the dark (hur hur) for a very long time, a casualty of when fighting games dropped in popularity in the early 2000s. With the recent resurgence of the genre, it would make sense to bring out another Darkstalkers game, or at least rerelease Vampire Chronicle. It's an extremely solid fighting game, and the multitude of options is just icing on the cake.

Regardless, if you have a Dreamcast that can play imports (or *coughburntgamescough*), Vampire Chronicle for Matching Service is absolutely worth trying to find. It was rare even in Japan so you might have some troubles, but it is the best compilation of one of the funnest forgotten fighting games. 

So gather some friends together and find out of Little Red Riding Hood really would win against the Big Bad Werewolf. 

Four out of five stars. 

You said it, Morrigan

Guilty Gear X

Disclaimer: I am not a fighting game master. While I'd consider myself pretty good at some of them, I don't play competitively or know any serious level of strategy when it comes to the genre. These reviews are from the perspective of a beginner to intermediate level player, and thus I can't analyze them to the particular depth many fighting game fans would need.


The Short


Pros
- Gorgeous, fast-paced 2D fighting game from Arc System Works.
- Roster of characters is awesomely weird
- Music is killer
- Half-circle moves rather than full circles make it much more accessible to beginners
- Despite having a decent level of depth (including Dust Attacks, Overdrives, Roman Cancels, etc.) it is still a very easy game to pick up and get good at

Cons
- Ichigeki Hissatsu's ("One Hit Certain Kills") are still in the game, which can be frustrating
- Was never released on the Dreamcast int he US
- They do they whole "release 80 versions of the same game" thing that drives me nuts
- If you are going to pick up a game in this series, you might as well avoid this one and get the Xbox's X2 #Reload release, as it's the same game with more characters/options, etc.

Heaven or Hell, let's rock!

The Long

As the disclaimer points out, I'm a lover of fighting games but far from a master. Though I did get pretty good at the first Marvel vs Capcom as well as the arcade version of Vampire Hunter/Darkstalkers 2, I would hardly call myself a pro of the genre. However, similar to bullet hell shooters, it's a genre I can't seem to pull myself away from, despite my lack of skill. There's a weird draw that fighting games have for me, so I keep coming back to them (especially when playing against friends for some hot-seat tournaments). 

I actually heard of Guilty Gear X back in the early 2000s, though I never actually got around to playing any of the games until recently. I'd dabbled in the excellent BlazBlue series first, before finally going back to its predecessor on the Dreamcast. And after just a few rounds I was completely hooked: Guilty Gear X is an absolutely excellent fighting game, especially for beginners. 

Johnny, the samurai cowboy, is awesome. 

You could argue the Guilty Gear series is famous for two things: fantastic, high rez animations of their 2D anime fighters, and the totally bizarre roster of characters. With regards to the latter, while it isn't quite as bananas as the following games in the series (where we are introduced to the infamous Bridget), Guilty Gear X still sports a sizeable roster of misfits. One-armed samurai ladies cross blades with black-demon spawn, air pirates fighting with giant anchors do battle with weird tall guys with paper bags on their heads. The fourteen (expanded to sixteen if you include the bosses) character roster is filled with a plethora of both weird characters and differing styles, meaning you're guaranteed to find a favorite out of the batch.

Aside from the odd characters the game looks incredible, even now in the days of HD graphics. The Dreamcast is capable of punching out some serious graphics (640x480. Woo.), making both it and the PS2 release of this game appear almost exactly identical to the arcade version. While the star of the show is obviously the well detailed and beautifully animated character sprites (which look way better than anything else on the system, including the excellent Marvel vs Capcom 2), the effects are also top notch. Attacks are flashy and satisfying to pull off, and it all meshes well into the bizzaro anime theme they have going on. As something to look at, Guilty Gear X delivers and in spades. 

Plus, you summon dolphins on an airship! Wait, what?

On the actual fighting side (what matters in the end, to be honest) Guilty Gear X is both welcome to newcomers and has a decent amount of depth for the hardcore. For new players, the game works quite well for the button-mashers, with many combos being simple and simply requiring multiple buttons being pressed at once to pull of awesome moves. Most also only require a quarter-circle to do rather than a full half-circle, which also makes the game a bit more noob friendly. There's a heavy emphasis on both combos and juggle combos, with the whole game actually reminding me a lot of the SNK fighter Samurai Shodown (which I also love).

It's a bit sloppy, to be sure. When compared to more ridged fighting games like the Street Fighter series or Garu: Mark of the Wolves, Guilty Gear X plays fast and loose. However, I think this makes the game more fun. Since it's more accessible to beginners, the bar to entry isn't nearly as high as it would be in most other fighting games, and you'll feel satisfied with your playing after just a few matches. While there are some obvious noob-killer characters (Eddie/Zato-1 absolutely destroys beginners with his fast attacks and range), newcomers will at least have a chance against more seasoned players.

The one thing that really irks me to the point of frustration are the "Ichigeki Hissatsu" attacks. These are basically instant kill moves (!!!) that are difficult to execute but always end the match if they hit. While it's interesting to see something so risky in a fighting game, it's pretty much an unspoken rule that when playing against another person you don't use them. I mean, seriously, can you think of any faster way to ruin a friendship?

A girl who attacks with her hair? Getting Bayonetta vibes, here. 

The music, like the balls-crazy combat, is also something you'll probably either love or hate. Consisting of a plethora of butt-metal and heavy riffs, it sounds more like it would be in a Devil May Cry game than a fighting game. It fits the absurd style well (and honestly there are quite a few tracks I really dig), and to be honestly I like it better than some of the weird jazzy music that Capcom puts in their fighters. It further pushes the already ridiculous, over-the-top insanity of this fighting game, and I love it for it.

I personally think this song is pretty kickin'. 

If there is one real fault of this game, it's that the Dreamcast version never made it to the states. It was eventually ported over to the PS2, but right before a "Plus" version of the game came out in Japan, so we pretty much got the dumpy version. Similar to their BlazBlue series (and doing what Capcom does with all its fighting games for some inexplicable reason), there's about twenty trillion releases of this game that all just expand on the original formula. If you are looking to pick it up, I highly suggest the Guilty Gear X2 #Reload version on original Xbox (it's one of the backwards compatible games for 360), as it's very close to the definitive version of these series of games. 

That being said, I love the Dreamcast version (if only because I think the Dreamcast controller is excellent for fighting games), and if you happen to have both a Dreamcast and somehow get an import copy (or just burn a copy off the internet...*cough*) it's a hell of a fun time. As an amateur fighting game dude who loves the genre but never got particularly great, Guilty Gear X is the perfect scratch to that competitive itch.

Plus, it's just so weird it's awesome, so there's that too.

Four out of five stars. 

That looks...painful. 

Giga Wing 2

The Short


Pros
- Same crazy action with insane points and bullets from the original game
- Actually saves on the Dreamcast version! Novel concept!
- More ships with more features and options, as well as a new shield option
- Bosses are crazier and weirder

Cons
- Changing the medals from bright pixalated gold to pre-rendered looking things makes them much harder to see
- Looks uglier than the first game
- Game has way, way bad slowdown on the Dreamcast version
- Attempts to "flesh out" the story only made it even stupider
- Last few levels are just bosses, one right after the other
- Ships aren't as fun or interesting as in the first game
- Shorter than Giga Wing, and seems to be missing the draw that made me love the first game

Here we go again

The Long

I loved Giga Wing, so when I heard they'd made a second one I flipped out (read: yesterday. I seriously had no idea until yesterday). So now that I had a Dreamcast I had to grab the game, pop that sucker in, and see how much they'd improved over the original game. Unfortunately, I was disappointed. Giga Wing 2 isn't really that much of an improvement over its predecessor. In fact, it might even be a few steps back.

Hey, an actual Dreamcast screenshot. They don't call them "bullet hells" for nothing. 

The mechanics from the first game are here, relatively unchanged. Bombs still clear the screen, you still have an assortment of ships to pick from and each have different weapons types, and the reflect shield returns. However, in a weird change there's now Reflect Force and Reflect Laser, which I honestly couldn't tell the difference except I didn't like Laser. I think Laser does some lock-on thing with its reflects, while Force...bounces them back as usual (but doesn't seem to turn them into multiplier medals this time around). Either way, I just used Reflect Force because that's what I used before so WHATEVER.

The new ships are decent but some straight up suck, like the green one that's special power is shooting small green booger shots diagonally with no range. Upgrading slightly increases the rage (and the abysmal fire rate of the main gun) but...that ship is garbage. How can that compare with the red ship, where it's side-weapon has infinite range and locks on to enemies? Answer: it can't. And my magic blue pilot nun with lock on missiles is gone. Boo.

Points! And crappy looking explosions!

While I still like the core mechanics, they did a lot of changes that are...bad. The first one is changing the color scheme of the medals. In the first game they were a bright, flashy gold. They clashed well with everything else (including bullets) which made it easy to discern bullets from enemies from points. In this one all the medals are pre-rendered and a darker shade, which makes them blend into the backdrop. They're both harder to see and less exciting to collect, which sounds like a little thing but considering getting a huge multiplier is the point of this game, making it less fun is kind of a big minus. The powerup icons also look crappy.

Another thing is that the game is shorter than the first, but they pad the time by having tons of stupid anime talking heads explaining the "story." Now, the first game had a few story segments that I gleefully skipped over, but this one has lots more, and they last longer. Way to artificially pad your game time, guys. Not to mention the last three levels are just bosses that are stationary. No cool walking robot boss from the first game, no really long final boss; just three boring bosses. Again, cutting back on the stages are we?

Using your shield is still important, though I think this game is easier.

But perhaps the most offensive part is that the Dreamcast version has abysmal slowdown. Drop a bomb, the game chugs. Shoot a lot of shots, the game chugs. It's a lot worse in two-player, probably because of double the shots, but seriously? The game already looks like vaseline was smeared over it's decent looking pixel graphics, and it is no longer widescreen; couldn't you have optimized this better? Slowdown in a bullet hell game is killer! This isn't the NES anymore, dudes!

There is a save feature now (finally) as well as a few bonuses like a gallery if you couldn't get enough of those anime stills while watching the stupid cutscenes. The difficulty slider is back, as is the option for infinite continues and changing bomb/life numbers, which is always good for these games.

Red Ship = Best Ship. Also, the arcade version looks better. 

Despite me dissing this game, I did enjoy it quite a bit. The point was that it just didn't reach to the same heights I felt the first Giga Wing did. It's still a very good shmup, with plenty of bullets everywhere and lots of challenge for score-seekers. However, when compared to the first game this one just seems...soulless. They cut back on the stuff I liked and the style of the first game to try and make it more...something. Competent? Serious? Deep? I have no idea. Point being: it's still a good time, just not as a good time.

And so it gets docked a star from the first one, even though I still enjoyed playing it with my wife.  Three out of five stars. 

Wait, are we going to the moon? I dub thee: THE LUNAR WHALE!

Giga Wing

The Short


Pros
- Crazy bullet hell shmup
- Has INSANE SCORES. Like seriously, it just gets ridiculous how many points it gives you
- Fun Reflect Force mechanic makes the game a bit more manageable
- Four ships, and the levels slightly vary on order depending on what ship you pick
- Unlimited continues in the Dreamcast version
- Can also customize number of lives and bombs in the DC version
- One of my favorite shmups ever

Cons
- Isn't the best looking game, especially the cheapy explosions
- That would be the Dreamcast version. The arcade version is very crisp and not-blurry
- Story is duuuuuuuuuumb
- Even on the standard setting, the game just coats the screen in bullets
- My DC copy won't save. I have no idea why or if that's normal, but not saving high scores sucks
- Will encounter a fair amount of slowdown when compared to the arcade version

Most of these screenshots will be from the arcade version. Just sayin.

The Long

Giga Wing was my introduction into bullet hell shooters. Way back in college my friends and I all got hooked on arcade emulation, having Marvel vs Capcom tournaments and playing enough Metal Slug to make our downstairs neighbors think World War III was going on. It was through this I discovered the arcade version of Giga Wing, a name that clearly evokes thoughts of awesome explosions and airplanes. Giga Wing is a vertically scrolling bullet hell shooter from Capcom, and while you could argue it stays pretty rigidly to the genre's trappings it manage to strike that fine balance between "easy" and "impossible" so that even novice Giga....wingers will have a chance.

So let's get into this, shall we?

Believe me, this is one of the easier levels. 

Giga Wing's core concept revolves around Reflect Force, or Reflect Barrier, or "The magic bullet shield" or whatever you want to call it. As stated it's a bullet hell, meaning even if you crank the difficulty down to 1 it's going to punch you in the face on the later levels. Even on the default arcade setting (3 out of 9) the game gets pretty dang insane very quickly. The main means you have to survive is this shield. Holding down A for a second will activate a temporary sphere around your ship, causing all bullets to bounce back at enemies (dealing damage) and then turning into point-giving medals (that also increase your multiplier). This shield is on a recharge, so the game can quickly become surviving between recharges, which makes it frantic and fun.

The Reflect Force is also well designed as it takes a split second before it'll activate, meaning you have to plan for it rather than use it as a last ditch attempt to survive. One hit an you're down a life (and your multiplier), so it's important to quickly decide when is best to use the shield, taking into account your seconds of vulnerability during its recharge. Luckily, Bombs in this game last several seconds and wipe the screen of bullets, so for a really last ditch effort you can use those, but that's kind of cheap (and doesn't give you the massive score boots reflecting does).

Protip: You can't reflect THAT thing back...

As you reflect bullets and mow through enemies, golden medals drop EVERYWHERE. These serve as two purposes: they give you points (a given) and also up your multiplier. Because there are just trillions and trillions of medals on screen at a time (and bullets, yours and the enemies) your multiplier gets insane very fast, resulting in crazy scores. The high score for this game on the arcade is 2,954,296,261,700. THAT'S KIND OF A LOT OF POINTS.

Aside from the reflection mechanic and bananas scoring system, the game is pretty much standard fare. You collect powerups (up to three) that makes your ship better. You have four ships to choose from, though everybody should just pick the blue one because it has homing missiles which MAKE EVERYTHING EASY. Or easier, rather; this game is freaking difficult. Anyway, don't expect too many surprises here; you just blast and shoot your way through a steampunk shmup complete with weird anime story bits that make no sense whatsoever.

You show 'em, headband...guy

As stated, I originally played this game on arcade emulation and absolutely loved it. Yeah, I probably spent $100 in quarters doing a first run, but hey...I loved it. The game isn't particularly long with unlimited continues (you can beat it in around 20-30 minutes, tops) but the challenge, of course, is getting the high scores.

Which is stupid that my Dreamcast version won't save. I dunno if it's my disc or something, but the stupid thing doesn't seem to have any save options in the menues or whatever. If it doesn't save, what the crap is the point?

There are a few other points against the Dreamcast version (and a few for). Graphically, it looks considerably worse. It obviously isn't widescreen, but the bright and crisp arcade visuals are blurry and darker (though the medals are still golden and super shiny!). Explosions also look more pre-rendered than actually pixel drawn, which looks weird and kind of worse. The Dreamcast version also suffers occasional slowdown which wasn't present in the arcade version, which is weird because the Dreamcast is a pretty powerful system. Well, whatever.

In the Dreamcast's favor, you have the option to pick how many lives and bombs you get, a difficulty selection, as well as unlimited continues. This actually kind of makes the game...really easy, if you are lame. You can just bomb all five bombs you have, die, and bomb again. I suggest not giving yourself more than one or two bombs, least your ruin your experience.

Stuff just keeps gettin' crazier!

As it stands, Giga Wing is an excellent shmup, and since it was the first bullet hell game I ever played and really loved, I have a real affinity for it. I don't know anything about "high-tier" bullet hell play (I'm not particularly great at these games anyway) and I know games like Ikaruga did this formula better, but I still really, really like Giga Wing. When I heard it was out on Dreamcast I just had to grab it, and being able to play co-op with my wife only makes it that much more fun.

If you see it in an arcade, give it a shot (just be warned: you'll die. A lot). The Dreamcast version is inferior to the arcade port but is hardly bad, and is certainly worth picking up if you have even the slightest affinity for the genre.

Plus, the robotic "OK!" voice that plays when your shield meter has refilled is stuck in my head forever.

Four out of five stars. 

Floating continents! Sorry, inside joke. 

Crazy Taxi

The Short


Pros
- Faithful recreation of the breakneck arcade driving game
- Fantastic graphics for the Dreamcast
- Lots of settings let you tweak your experience to best suit you
- Challenge modes are a nice break from the regular game
- Very addicting, and also a lot of fun to just boot up and play a couple games
- Music by The Offspring and Bad Religion really bring the late 90s vibe home
- Seriously, this game is such a great time capsule

Cons
- Only has like four songs, and if you play a mode longer than 4-5 minutes you'll get them repeated
- XBLA/PSN version has NO licensed songs, just generic guitar stuff. Lame.
- Branding is also gone in the XBLA version, and this is the only time I'll say I liked in-game advertising
- The whole "CRAAAAZZZYYYY!!" aspect of the game can be really obnoxious
- Stuff your driver/passengers say is obnoxious
- Have to press a button to switch from drive to reverse. I know you jerks did that to take up time.
- At it's core, this game is very simple, and only has one real map

Time to make some CRAZY MONEY!

The Long

Crazy Taxi is yet another arcade game I saw frequently as a child and only got to play like three times. And the times I did play it I was so incredibly awful it wasn't a very enjoyable experience, mostly because I knew I could do better. I've always been oddly drawn to this game for some reason (maybe because I like both The Offspring and Bad Religion, thus proving I have awful taste in music) so when I finally picked up a Dreamcast this last week, I was stoked to find it was included in the bundle.

But now I'm old and jaded! Does the "rad," "crazy," "awesome" attitude of this late 90s arcade game still work today? Or is its repetitive arcade antics just too stupid and from a different time?

I'm gonna say this: I have played this game daily since getting my Dreamcast. So I'm gonna say it holds up.

And thus your adventure starts. Your CRAZY adventure!

Crazy Taxi is, at its core, an extremely simple game. Your goal is to pick up customers and deliver them to their desired locations as fast as possible, earning money and competing against the clock. Once you run out of time the game is over, and you are ranked and scored.

What Crazy Taxi does well is the little things that add to your score and time. Picking up customers gives a time boost based on how far away you have to travel, and delivering them quicker earns a bigger post-delivery time boost (usually just 2-5 seconds). You are given a standard fare based on distance, but doing CRAZY stuff in between can ramp up the fare. Driving recklessly between cars but not getting hit, doing sick jumps, or performing power slides will earn you extra change, comboing up as long as you can keep the CRAZINESS going. On one run I earned something like $200 extra between jumps, weaving through traffic, and just driving like a maniac. It's a great risk/reward system, and you have to use it to get any high scores.

This cannot possibly be safe. 

And that, in a nutshell, is the idea behind Crazy Taxi. It's an extremely addicting high score chase, and the game is great at popping up your current "rank" while you are playing so that you know if you smoked your old scores. While extended play can get a bit tiresome, it's absolutely addicting in short bursts.

There are a few other features that are worth noting. You are given four drivers to choose from, each with their own car and stats (and a fifth "secret" car which is just a bike with a cab attached). In the Dreamcast (and XBLA/PSN/PS2 versions) they have a variety of "challenge" missions included as well, that task you to do specific things in a time limit. These are hardly deep or anything, but are a nice diversion. 

The home versions also let you customize your time, difficulty, traffic density, and more. You can play where you don't get time added and just have 10 minutes to play, but let me tell you: removing the challenge of the timer makes this game boring. Just play Arcade. Trust me.

And now I have CRAAAZZZYYY insurance rates!

Is there anything negative about this bananas arcade action? Well...a few things. There's only one map, and while it's pretty large you can easily get stuck looping around the same areas each time. Sometimes the controls can come off as annoying (especially having to press one button to be in drive and another to switch to reverse; clearly this was because they wanted to suck up your quarters as you wasted seconds changing gears) and the car peels out randomly which is also obnoxious.

Perhaps the biggest point of issue for a lot of people is the sound. Now, with the "witty" banter between your driver and the customer is pretty much a no brainer for everybody: it's repetitive, lame, and sucks. The main point people bring up is the soundtrack. It consists of about four-five tracks from The Offspring and Bad Religion, two major punk bands the time Crazy Taxi was hitting arcades. Now, for me I like both these bands, and feel their hateful punk music blends well with the over-the-top rebellious attitude of Crazy Taxi. But some people straight up hate it, so if you do you can always turn the volume down.

A big downer, however, is that both the XBLA and PSN re-releases axed the licenses songs (as well as the product placement buildings like Pizza Hut or Tower Records). While you could argue that's an improvement, I'll still rather listen to The Offspring than bland generic guitar riffs. Just doesn't have the same 'tude, man. 

Brake, you fool, brake! 

As it stands, Crazy Taxi is a fantastic game, that is better on the PS2 and the Dreamcast if only because of its closer authenticity to the arcade original. While the "HD" re-release is fine (it isn't really very HD, to be completely honest) it loses a bit of the original flavor which, for a game like this, is like half of the game.

Regardless, Crazy Taxi still stands up as a fast, furious, and (dare I say it...) CRAZY arcade game even to this day. If you downloaded the demo off XBLA and dug it, by all means snatch it up either online or in a Sega compilation disc. Just be sure and blast some Offspring from your iPod for the full effect.

Four out of five stars for the original, three out of five for the rerelease.

But this guy will forever be creepy.