Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 15 - Triple Dragon

FYI, Cards Against Humanity is back in stock on Amazon after a several month hiatus, as are all the expansions. I spent the evening with my cousins playing a rousing game of Space Team (which now supports up to eight people) followed by some absurd Cards Against Humanity offensiveness. It was a laugh riot, to say the very least.
Today is a classic but an good one for the Youtube: Duck Tales' moon theme, the most Mega Man song out of all of 'em. Nice work, Capcom. I don't envy the guy who is going to have to remix this song for the new Duck Tales Remastered game. Talk about an impossible task!
For tonight, we have the holy triforce of NES beat-em-ups: the Double Dragon series!

Double Dragon

A little background

 Everybody knows Double Dragon. An arcade hit turned NES hit, it was released by Tradewest on the NES in June of 1988. In the original promotional material for the game, the now iconic Billy and Jimmy were known as Hammer and Spike (ok...), so that's a fun fact.

For those who somehow missed the memo: Double Dragon is a beat-em-up game. Some like to think of it as the beat-em-up game, the one that made them popular and gave us such classics as the Simpsons arcade game and even more modern interpretations like Castle Crashers. For me personally, Golden Axe and Streets of Rage 2 on the Genesis were my first introduction to that genre, but I still played a good deal of Double Dragon in my youth, as well as in college. 

People often falsely declare the genre "outdated," while I personally think games like Castle Crashers are taking the popular idea that started the whole thing (beat up a lot of dudes in awesome ways) and modernizing it, but that's a conversation for another time. Also, Double Dragon NEON is awesome, and IGN is stupid. But considering how completely wrong they've been about other games, it isn't surprising. 

First impressions last forever

Yeah, time for some Double Dragon! Hey wait, I picked two player, but there's only one life bar...oh, right. This game's two-player is just switching off characters, Super Mario Bros style. Sorry, wife, looks like you have to wait for me to die.

The controls feel solid, with the kick and punch packing a lot of...well, punch (hur hur), and great "smacking" sound effect. You also can jump and kick, and you feel in control. The graphics aren't half bad either, and I like the opening cutscene of your lady getting punched in the stomach. Not because I'm sexist, but because it just...happens. With no background. And then the story begins. Great!

  

But as I played further...

 Man, the lack of two player is really bumming me out, but the game is still a good deal of fun. I let out a cheer at the first Abobo sighting, and ran up the elevator railings and glitched through the floor like everybody should. For a one-player beat-em-up it isn't half bad, but the fun with these games is two player, so I'll still harp on that. The only two-player mode is some VS combat fighting game thing that sucks. They can keep it. 

Also, on a side note, my cartridge is like super glitchy. The colors kept changing, the screen kept flickering, and it froze twice. Time to break out the Q-Tips and Windex...

So what's the conclusion? 

Double Dragon is still a solid, fun beat-em-up. What I really like about this game (and its sequel, which we'll cover next) is how balanced the game feels. Yeah, it's tricky and you'll die a decent amount, but you can always get pretty far before screwing up and going down. Or having your cartridge freeze.
It still has my one really big complaint for all these types of games: the insta-"falling down a hole"-death. Having full health and accidentally stepping too far down is so frustrating. Urgh, I'm getting mad just thinking about it!
Regardless, Double Dragon is a lot of (single player) fun. It's also pricey, around $13 these days. 

Double Dragon II: The Revenge

A little background

 After the runaway success of the first Double Dragon game, Akklaim bought up the franchise and pumped out a sequel. While the arcade game...exists, I think most people remember the NES version of this game. AS THEY SHOULD, because it's easily the best beat-em-up on the system, coming out in January of 1990. I guess that's a bit of a biased opinion before even getting to the review, but you know what? DEAL WITH IT. 

I don't want to give any more background. So I'm just gonna play this game, ok? 

First impressions last forever

 Yeah, actual two-player action! Just don't pick "Game B," because then you can hit each other.

This game is iconic as balls. The first major change is the controls. Rather than have one button kick and the other punch, now buttons are a direction of attacking. A will always attack to the right, and B to the left. If you're facing the direction of the attack you'll punch, and if not you'll do a back kick. With one swell foop, Double Dragon II fixed the big problem with these types of games: getting surrounded and getting attacked from behind. Brilliant. 

But as I played further...

This game is a freaking blast! I even love the awful engrish and corny cutscenes. "G-R-A-S-P!"

The game is also quite fair. After beating each stage your life gets refilled, and while you don't get an absurd number of lives like in Double Dragon 1, three each is more than enough for a two-player game. 

This game also has a lot of really cool places. From the streets to the rooftops, the inside of a chopper to an undersee lab, Double Dragon II goes all over the place. The graphics look quite good, and the controls and sound effects are solid. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Double Dragon II is easily the best in the series, and still stands up today as one of the best beat-em-up games I can think of. It's never unfair (except maybe that one room where you step out of the door onto a conveyor belt that tosses you into a pit...), plays great, looks great, sounds great, and is an absolute kick co-op. Get it? "Kick?" Because...you get it.

This is an essential game for any NES collector. Seriously. It's just...so good. With so many people trying to revive this game (including the absolutely offensively bad XBLA Double Dragon II game that just came out...seriously, don't buy it), it's crazy that this sequel is still the absolute best.

Carts are a bit cheaper than the first game, but not by much. Usually $10-15. 

Double Dragon III: The Sacred Stones

A little background

 Man, why is that picture blurry? I swear my phone just decides when a picture is going to be good or crap on its own accord. Or it knew Double Dragon III's legacy...

Yeah, so after II drop-kicked us in the face with how awesome it was, we get this game, released on the NES in February 1991 and called Double Dragon III: The Rosetta Stone in Japan, though I prefer to call it Double Dragon III: The One They Screwed Up. 

Without going into too much detail, this game flopped pretty bad, essentially killing the series (though they did make the Battletoads crossover game) and got scathing reviews. Which is weird...how could they screw up Double Dragon? Just...do II again but with new stuff, right? How is that hard?

First impressions last forever

 This game actually gives a pretty good first impression. The cutscenes are sort of cool, and the game looks really good. The combat seems to be taken from Double Dragon instead of II, meaning bi-directional hits are out, but whatever. There's actually like a plot too, that seems ripped right out of an old kung-fu movie. How could this go bad?

But as I played further...

Two words: one life. That's it. You get one life, and no continues. Once that life bar is gone, the game is over. Game Over screen and everything. Vamoosh. Start from the beginning. Balls.

Compounded on that is the new enemy AI, which is cheatersville. It seems they realized that the option to hit both ways is gone now, so they intentionally surround you and get you hit-locked. As a bonus, whenever anybody new shows up off screen, their opening attack is a jump-kick, which you can't dodge if you're locked in a combo punching somebody. So you'll take a hit (either from the kicker, or from disengaging the guy you are currently beating the spittle out of) and down your single life goes. Ugh. 

I'd comment on length or levels or something, but I honestly can't beat the first level. I seem to remember getting to the end of level 2 at some point (the game at least fills up your life after each level), but never beyond that.

So what's the conclusion? 

Double Dragon III: A Festering Suckfest isn't worth your time or attention. It seriously sucks that, after the greatness of the second game, they somehow messed this up so much it's worse than even the first game! You may think I'm being too hard on this game, but seriously: it's Battletoads level of frustration here. And at least Battletoads had continues. I'd rather play Battletoads than this game, seriously. 

The most painful games are the ones that we really want to be good (and have a pedigree behind them) but just don't cut it (Final Fantasy XIII, I'm lookin' at you too). Double Dragon III isn't worth your time or money. Just stick with number two.

Copies are the same price as the rest of 'em, usually around $13.

Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 14 - Label Damage

Today's is going to be short, both because I'm short on time and there isn't all that much to say about the games in question. Still, here's a youtube link to a Skyrim theme on violin and piano. Purdy.
And that's it! Boring day over here from me; busy with life stuff, but still managing to put out a daily review batch because I care.

Destiny of an Emperor

A little background

 Oh geez, oh gosh, oh man, what happened to that label? This was another gift, and it looks like the game went through the war, not to mention there's that huge price-tag on the lower half. Oh well...it happens. 

Destiny of an Emperor is a Capcom joint, though it looks more like a Koei game had a baby with Dragon Warrior. It was released in September of 1990, and is widely considered a "hidden gem" of the NES library? Is it?

First impressions last forever

Holy cow, this game is so Dragon Warrior. Having to enter a menu to talk and examine, the sprites look exactly like Dragon Warrior (only more Japanese , the and even the mountains and trees in the world map have a Dragon Warrior flavor. How many times can I say Dragon Warrior in a review? Dragon Warrior, Dragon Warrior, Dragon Warrior...

But as I played further...

 It gives a somewhat weak first impression, with truckloads of ambiguous text and a weird opening cutscene and no explanation for what you are doing (besides killing a band called the "Yellow Scarves." Really threatening name there, guys). But before long, you realize this game is basically just Final Fantasy (again, another game they knocked off) only much more fast paced. Which, honestly, I'm down with that.

Fights are done in random encounters that look...bland, but it does have some nice character pictures in the corner when they attack. A little touch I really liked was that your hit points are actually soldiers under the commander's...well, command, and when you get hit you lose that many guys. Massive manslaughter here!

You gain more commanders and tacticians as you advance, and in order for your sub-generals to do advanced commands you have to assign them a tactician. You can only have six people in your party at once ("only"...), but the battles are very fast and pretty hard, which is a plus.

So what's the conclusion? 

I will openly admit I didn't play enough of this game to probably give it a fair rating, but I will say that I warmed up to it quite a bit after getting a little more into it. While my initial impressions were just "Lame Dragon Warrior knockoff," the game actually feels a bit more like Dynasty Warriors meets Final Fantasy, which is pretty neat. The story seemed ok, and the translation was at least decent. As a whole, if you are looking for a totally unique turn-based strategy game on the NES that isn't a Final Fantasy or Dragon Warrior game, Destiny of an Emperor is worth checking out.
Copies are usually between $5-10 (depending on the label damage...)

Donkey Kong Classics

A little background

I will openly admit this review is kind of stupid, because Donkey Kong Classic is just a compilation of Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr, and I own a DK Jr. cart, so it's next on the list alphabetically. But for the sake of purity, we're doing this one first.

Donkey Kong Classics is...well...two NES Donkey Kong games together. It was released in October of 1988, and it's worth noting that was two years after the ill-received Donkey Kong 3, which isn't on this cartridge. I guess even Nintendo knew that game wasn't as good as the other two.

Since I'm going to give my thoughts on Jr after this, I'll just focus on the original for this review, since I don't actually have an original Donkey Kong cart as of yet. 

 First impressions last forever

 Donkey Kong looks very similar to the arcade game, which is a good thing. The sound effects are spot on, and even though a few graphical effects (like DK smashing down the stage before it beings) are missing, it's still solid gameplay-wise. I also think it's easier than the arcade version, though I can't pinpoint exactly why. 

But as I played further...

 The biggest fault of this version is the missing level three, which this compilation doesn't even have. If they were making a "best of," couldn't you have brought that level back? I know you have more than enough space on the cart!

That aside, Donkey Kong is still a fun game that I'm awful at. Not as bad as Burger Time, mind, but still not that fantastic. I'm no "King of Kong" if you know what I'm saying. Also, go watch that movie. It's great. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Do I really have to explain Donkey Kong? You jump. You climb ladders. You dodge barrels. You do it over and over until you get a high score. Simple.

Another thing that fries my bacon about this compilation, I should point out: no battery backup. The original games didn't have it and that made sense - they were older games before battery backups became normal. But for this? Not saving any of my saves after I turn the NES off? This is an arcade game, for crying out loud, two of the most iconic of all time. For this "greatest hits" you could have at least saved my scores, if you aren't going to put that level back in!

That's really the biggest problem with the port, to be honest, because besides that it's perfect. If you like Donkey Kong and/or Donkey Kong Jr, this is the copy to pick up, as it's usually as much as any one of those two carts, and has both game on it and they run flawlessly. 

Also, mine has a little scratch on the top, continuing the "label damage" theme. See? Consistency. 

The game is usually $10-15. 

Donkey Kong Jr. 

A little background

Ah, Donkey Kong Jr. My favorite of the original Donkey Kong arcade games. 

This cart came out in June of 1986, four years after the arcade release. It is pretty much a perfect port of the original Arcade game and, unlike Donkey Kong, isn't missing any levels. It's also noted as being the first game where Mario is actually the bad guy, capturing the big dumb ape and forcing his wifebeater-wearing son to come save him. 

As a fun fact, it's implied that Cranky Kong in Donkey Kong Country is the original Donkey Kong, and since he's that game's Donkey Kong's grandfather, it means DK in Country is the son of Donkey Kong Jr. Leave it to Rare to think our freaking arcade games needed some weird continuity with their series. So does Mario come visit the Donkey Kong Country world? Is Pauline there? Who knows? 

Nobody, that's who. And nobody cares, either. Just like the Donkey Kong Rap. Why does that exist?

First impressions last forever

 I love Donkey Kong Jr. I don't know why, but it is one of the few arcade games I really got good at. The game has some clunky controls, and it takes a while to realize that if Jr falls from just a little too far, he'll die (what?!). However, after dying a few times in the first world you start to get the hang of it, figuring out the two-handed climb (which is faster going up) and the one-handed slide (which is faster going down) in order to best burn through the levels. 

But as I played further...

I've also always felt this game is better than Donkey Kong for a few reasons. First, it gives you an offensive capability that was skill based, not just picking up some stupid invincibility hammer. Knocking down fruit to hit enemies is tricky. Second, it does a good job mixing climbing with jumping, while the original Donkey Kong was more about the jumping than anything. DK Jr. takes the best from the original and spices it up, which I think was smart. 

So what's the conclusion? 

This is one of my favorite old arcade games (which I'm actually pretty good at, weirdly enough, though not that good). It's similar to Donkey Kong in a lot of ways, but also does well branching out on its own and being unique because of it. Both games are very distinct and require different styles of play to master, and are absolutely necessary for any collector's library.
Copies are around $7-15, but you should probably just get the Donkey Kong Classics collection in this case. 

Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 13 - Taking Command

Smooth McGroove is back, this time with a Chrono Trigger beat that's pretty dang kickin! This guy is too cool for school.
Oh, right. Also some reviews. I guess we'll do those now.

Defender of the Crown

A little background

 Defender of the Crown was ported by Ultra (aka Konami) to the NES in July 1989. It was made by Cinemaware, who went on to make a bunch of games I've never heard of so I won't list them here. 

Defender of the Crown is cool because not only is it a medieval simulator, it also incorporates a lot of medieval tournaments, warfare, and more into one big strategy/negotiations game. It's like Crusader Kings II, only, you know, old. It also reminds me of Lords of the Realm II, aka the most awesome old PC game ever, except also really old. 

First impressions last forever

This NES port doesn't look all that great. The map screen is dull, the sprites in battle are muddy, and the overall color palette they chose is dull. I also have no idea at all what I'm doing, which leads to me getting in a fight and swiftly losing. "In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die..."

I'm like the Eddard Stark of this game. 

But as I played further...

 There's a pretty cool idea here, buried under all the extremely difficult and obscure gameplay. Basically, you want to pick Wilfred, because he's the most balanced, and get an army ASAP. Of course, you have to get money to get an army (as this is a strategy game) so you go on raids or do tournaments and stuff and probably lose. 

The computers are ruthless to the point of unfair, and nine time out of ten you'll probably end up just failing completely and becoming the court jester or losing your head. I'd imagine the Amiga version, with a keyboard and mouse, probably played a lot better, because this NES version isn't great. 

So what's the conclusion? 

I really want to like Defender of the Crown, because it has everything I like in one game. Medieval warfare and tactics, deep strategy, and cool fighting. Unfortunately, in the end I can't recommend it. It's just not a very good port. I wanted to be a Lannister, instead I was Sansa Stark. And that's enough Game of Thrones references for this review.
Copies are around $5-10.

Deja Vu

A little background

 Deja Vu is part of a trio of adventure games that made it from the Macintosh (part of the "MacVenture" series) over to the NES. The other two are the hard to find Uninvited and the ever-classic Shadowgate. These games are considered extremely classic, with some great writing and interesting stories overall. While the Macintosh versions are obviously the best (if only because you can use a mouse), they did pretty dang good with these NES ports as well.

They also made a sequel to Deja Vu called Deja Vu 2: Lost in Las Vegas (which sounds more like a movie about lost pets or a Home Alone spinoff than a game about a hard-boiled detective) but that never got ported over. Which is too bad.

First impressions last forever

 The writing and graphics in this game are great. While Shadowgate's menu interface had a medieval vibe, this one goes all-out in the "detective notebook" thing. The text is interesting, the music is good enough background noise, and the controls are a decent mouse substitute. 

But as I played further...

This game is classic noire. You thought L.A. Noire was noire? Well, these guys did it a billion years before those jerks even existed! The characters are memorable and the game actually delves into some pretty dark themes (much like Shadowgate, which has some grisly descriptions of textual death), but the adventure is solid and a lot of fun. 

I love adventure games, and it's always great to find a good one I haven't played. I found it hard to put Deja Vu down after getting thoroughly engrossed in its story. 

So what's the conclusion? 

While the NES controller isn't a great keyboard and mouse substitute, it doesn't hurt Deja Vu one bit (minus maybe slow cursor speed). What's sad is how well remembered Shadowgate is, while Deja Vu (and Uninvited) are pretty much forgotten. If you got even the slightest bit of enjoyment out of Shadowgate, you owe it to yourself to give Deja Vu a chance. It's a cop-with-nothing-to-lose action as good as it gets, with a fun story, monologuing, and pretty much anything fans of old detective movies will love.
Copies are a bit tricky to find but never are too expensive, usually around $3-5.

Demon Sword

A little background

 Oh Taito, what weird games you made before Square Enix bought you. 

Demon Sword (which has the phrase "RELEASE THE POWER" above the title, which is pretty great) was a sequel to the arcade port of Legend of Kage. Kage came out in August of 1987, while Demon Sword was January of 1990. A bit of Legend of Kage background is required to understand the review: that game was basically just Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on the NES, only not as cool as I just made it out to be. You climbed trees, jumped a billion feet into the air, threw ninja-stars (or deflected them with your sword) and murdered other ninjas. You did it over three stages with limited lives, and the game cycled. That was the whole game. You can tell it was an arcade port. 

Demon Sword intended to use a similar formula but flesh out the game, making it better. Did it? Eh. 

Also, the guy on the cover looks like Conan mixed with Stannis Barathian (aw crap, another Game of Thrones reference slipped in) when in the game it's very obvious he's a samurai and it's set in medieval Japan. Not even close, localization team. Not. Even. Close. 

Lastly, the Japanese version had six more stages and bosses that were cut for no reason from the US version. Again, way to crap it up for the states. 

First impressions last forever

 This game sure looks better than Legend of Kage, which looked like total garbage. It plays similar, with space jumps, dudes spawning from nowhere, and a general sense of non-direction. Though hey, power-ups!

But as I played further...

 The weirdest thing is, I kind of like Legend of Kage, and I don't like Demon Sword. The further I got, the more frustrated I became. I'm glad I have life this time (vs one hit deaths of Kage), but attacks are so near impossible to deflect death is inevitable. The game also makes it out as if there's somewhere I should go, but never offers any direction towards it. I get upgrades (which is cool), but because of the totally inability to not get hit all the time, I don't feel empowered. The game's a mess. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Demon Sword is a weird sequel where you'd think everything was improved over the previous game, but they still somehow screwed it up. On paper, everything in Demon Sword is better: a life bar, better weapon upgrades, better graphics, a story/point, etc. But in execution the game is sloppy, and trying to give it a point falls flat. Weirdly enough, the arcade-style frustrations of Kage are much more enjoyable than the controller-snapping unfairness of Demon Sword. It's like they didn't even playtest it. Kage you can actually get better at, and use that skill to advance further. Demon Sword is a huge crapshoot.
I guess I might be being a little harsh, but seeing as there's roughly eighty quad-billion NES platformers, you can probably skip this one. Copies are very cheap, usually $3 or less.

Desert Commander

A little background

 Not to be confused with "Dessert Commander," Desert Commander is another game by the dudes who brought us Deja Vu...or their publisher, rather. Kemco published both, is what I'm trying to say. Because it's weird I have two of the same...you know what? Let's start over.

Have you every played Advance Wars? You know, the game with little kids as commanders over this brutal war on the GBA, and it had that absurdly catchy song? The game was basically a mix between Fire Emblem and...I dunno, Command and Conquer? Only tuned down a notch.

Well guess what? This game is Advance War's grandaddy! Released in June of 1989 as an NES exclusive, Desert Commander was quite ahead of it's time for a console platformer.

First impressions last forever

 Geez, this game looks a lot like Advance Wars (or I guess it should be the other way around). And they got the "desert" thing right: sand everywhere. That's cool, I'm cool with that. I like sand. I also like tanks and shooting stuff, so this game seems alright from the get-go.

But as I played further...

 Desert Commander is good fun, with a few minor problems. The first (and biggest) is your units' movement speed is set to "slow" and can't really be sped up. The second is the CPU can be pretty tough.

That's it. Other than that, game's solid. Seriously, it's fun. It has the same "battle" cutscenes as Advance Wars when units engage (except in NES style), and the strategy is very solid. The lack of a tutorial is a bit annoying, but it's the NES days so it comes with the territory. 

So what's the conclusion? 

While I want to fully recommend this game, it pains me to have to admit that Advance Wars is better. But if you're playing NES games anyway, you don't care about modern games and their improvements, right? Yes? Maybe?
Point being: Desert Commander is a solid, modern (as of 1988) war game with great turn-based strategy and excellent controls and visuals. If you like that sort of thing, than grab yourself a copy!
They're usually between $5-10.

Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 12 - Shirts are for Sissies

This is the first post as of yet from my gaming rig! It's been having ongoing issues since I built it, but I've decided to risk bringing it back into mainstream use for this blog post. Especially handy since it's in the same room as all them games.
Today's youtube song is one of my favorite Persona 4 remixes. Piano-ing anything makes it better.
Enough jibber-jabber, it's review time!

Contra

A little background

 Man, Konami was on fire back in the day. Pumpin' out classic games and franchises like nobody's business. The only other third party that I think could even keep up was Capcom, and even they didn't push as many new IPs that lasted like Konami did. 

What was I talking about? Oh, right, Contra.

Contra is actually (and I don't know how many people know this) an arcade port! Yes, really. Despite the NES version (which came out in February of 1988) being probably the most well remembered version, it was also a very popular arcade game. So, that's a fact I guess. Another fact: this game's arcade title Gryzor in Europe, while the NES version was Probotector. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.

What else can I say about Contra? It inspired a slew of imitators, basically inventing the run-n-gun 2D platform which would be perfected (in this reviewer's opinion) by SNK's Metal Slug series a while later. It's Manly Men shooting Aliens 101, and it's pretty great. Take Rambo, mix him with Aliens, and you get Contra. Sold. 

First impressions last forever

 This game still looks and plays great, even for an early NES game. The first thing you notice is how intense the action is (and how crazy the spin-jump looks!) and how fluid the game controls. Seriously, games were trying to mimic how well Contra controlled for years after it came out. The music is also rockin, and with two-players it's a blast-happy attack. Also, surprisingly low slowdown and sprite flicker for the number of projectiles on screen. 

But as I played further...

 Contra is a classic for a reason: it's a really solid game. The graphics, music, and gameplay are all tight and fun. Blasting aliens (and dudes) is always great, and even if every power-up sucks next to the Spread Gun, I guess it's good they're there? Also, the 3D levels are cool!

Contra's main hang-up (even for me today) is that the game is stupid hard. This is the game that made the Konami code famous (even though Gradius was the first instance of the code's existence), because trying to beat this game with three lives and one-hit deaths is literally impossible. Impossible. IMPOSSIBLE.

So what's the conclusion? 

Contra is another game I'd put next to a lot of modern games and say "Hey! Retro games can still be solid experiences!" It's fast, extremely difficult, but still a blast to play. With the Konami code the game is a lot more tolerable (and less stressful), but there is still something about playing it with limited lives that keeps you on edge and gets the blood pressure up. The only downside is collectors seem to want it too, which has pushed the price up. But hey, it's still less than most modern new games! (I keep telling myself that when I drop $60 on Lufia 2). 

Copies are usually $20-30. 

Crystalis

A little background

Crystalis (or known by its infinitely more badass Japanese name, God Slayer) was a late-NES SNK joint that came out in July of 1990 and was later ported to the Game Boy Color. From what I know, the game didn't sell very well because it came out right when the SNES was becoming a big deal. Which is a damned shame.

As an aside, I write for a site called ARPGamer (which is currently under new management and undergoing changes), and I actually already did a write-up of Crystalis on there. So if you want more detail than what I'm about to cover, go read that instead. 

First impressions last forever

 Crystalis has an amazing opening, that might remind more than a few people of the Fallout franchise. Mankind is devastated by nuclear war, so they seal up a bunch of people in containment pods to be opened after the world is safe. Pods huh. Like VAULTS?!

The game looks incredible, even if the main character is purple. Despite the box-art, I always imagined the hero as a girl for some reason. He/She certainly looks like it could go either way (it's just a bunch of pixels anyway).

Another thing of note is full pixel movement. Yes, it's a top-down action game like Zelda, but isn't confined to four-way directions. Fantastic! 

But as I played further...

 Crystalis is a really fun action RPG, and fans of the 2D Zelda games or games like Secret of Mana should absolutely pick it up. It's very combat-heavy but with a few bits of puzzle-solving, with the ability to equip and "charge" different elemental swords to both release elemental attacks as well as open secret doors and solve puzzles.

The quest is fairly simple: start in village, explore dungeons, solve problems, go to next village, lather, rinse, repeat. But, then again, you could argue every Zelda game is kind of like that, so maybe it isn't fair to boil it down to something so simple.

The real fun in Crystalis is the leveling up, interesting environments, buying and using new gear, and lightning-fast combat. For a top-down RPG on the NES, Crystalis was way ahead of its time, which makes it sad nobody bought it. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Get Crystalis. Seriously, it's phenomenal. While it does fall into a level-grinding trap near the end (and expect to do a fair amount throughout), the graphics are gorgeous, the controls are solid, and the world is interesting (and the text is even translated decently, which never happens on NES games). It's one of my favorite action RPGs ever, and I might even like it better than Secret of Mana. Oh snap, he didn't go there!

Copies are a little tricky to find, and usually roll around $10-15. 

Days of Thunder

A little background

 Um, so I know nothing about Days of Thunder. Like, at all. A friend donated his collection to my cause a few months back, and this game was in it, and I actually don't even remember testing the game to see if it worked before putting it on my shelf. That's a good sign, right?

From what I gather, it's based on a movie (probably made by Paramount, based on the logo at the bottom there) but I sure haven't seen it. It came out in October of 1990 (the game. I'll be damned if I look up when this movie came out) and was made by Beam Software, who also made the awful Back to the Future game. 

Oh. Good. 

I also assumed it was about racing, because there were cars. Probably NASCAR? Great, a "drive left for five hours" simulator. 

First impressions last forever

 The opening graphics are actually kind of impressive. It has that "glowy text fade in/out" thing that usually was reserved for every SNES game ever's intro/brand logos. So there's that.

The graphics also look ok, if filled with solid colors, but it's a bad sign if there's no actual start screen and the game just tosses you into a "qualifying race." Looking forward to doing that every single time I load up the game!

But as I played further...

 It is based on NASCAR, and guess what? It's just as boring. And you turn left a lot. Yay!

The graphics are actually ok. It's sort of Rad Racer esque only without any of the little environmental things that gave Rad Racer that awesome sense of speed. You just drive around the track, sometimes turning left. Hooray.

The controls also threw me for a loop. From what I can see, holding "A" just applies the gas, but if you release it you'll kind of cruise-control unless you bump something. The problem is that, since the actual races are absurdly long, if you hold A the whole time you'll run out of gas after like the seventh lap. Yes, there's more than seven laps around the same boring course, over and over. Charmed. 

Running out of gas restarts the whole game (at the "qualifying race," with no other cars) so that's also a totally great game design. Did they even playtest this? It doesn't help the races are so hard you'll never win without massive amounts of skill and luck, and every time you fail it's back to qualifying. Ugh. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Yeah ok, this game is a great cure for insomnia, but beyond that it sucks. I don't even think it's worth me saying more about it.

I'll be damned if I'm going to look it up on eBay for a price average, but since it's a licensed NES game I'd assume no more than $5. 

Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 11 - Caveman Commando

I went to the game store today and picked up some crap. I have a cart at a certain chain that makes the majority of retro games $3, and it's hard to say no to $3 games! Also, this is why I have like 300 games on Steam.
Also, don't worry: I didn't get any NES games that come before "C." Because retroactively reviewing retro games seems redundant.
Whatever, on with the show!

Caveman Games

A little background

Apparently "Jim" owned this game before me. 

Caveman Games is another....*sigh*...Data East experience. It was originally made for Commodore 64 and DOS by Dynamix, who would later be acquired by Sierra and make the phenomenal Incredible Machine games as well as the famous Tribes. 

The NES port was released in October of 1990, without the subtitle "Ugh-lympics." Yeah, You'll be saying "ugh" after you play this game, ha ha ha!

That was a sick burn, by the way. It's why they pay me the big bucks to do this every day. 

First impressions last forever

So there's a lot of events, and man this game looks rotten on the NES. I seem to remember seeing the Commodore 64 version and it looking better, but it might just be because I was a wee lad back then. This game also bears a striking resemblance to Konami's Track and Field games, except with cavemen. Hey, I can get behind that. 

But as I played further...

You have six events, all caveman and dinosaur themed, and all of them aren't really that great. They're the usual dexterous controller style games of the era, like early Mario Party games designed to destroy controllers so Nintendo could sell more. 

Saber Race is a button-mashy racing game similar to the one in Track and Field, except you aren't just outrunning the other guy: you're outrunning a sabre tooth tiger. Shouldn't it be "Sabre Run" then?

Mate Toss is my favorite one. It's like hammer throw, except you throw your "mate" (basically spouse). Not sexist here, because as the girl olympian you throw a boy! So that makes it ok. The concept of this one amuses me for some reason, even if the animation is atrocious.

Firemaking is a pure button masher where you race to make fire. Next. 

Clubbing is not what you think it is, as no alcohol or good times are involved. Instead, it's an American Gladiator style fighting game at the top of a large rock, where you try to bonk the other person off. Again, other games have done fighting better.

Dino Race is weirdly similar to Saber Race, except you are on the dinosaurs trying to dodge obstacles. 

And Dino Vault is a pole vaulting competition, except you are vaulting over a T-Rex's mouth. 

Out of all of them, I like Mate Toss and Dino Vault, because they're funny. But all in all, even with two players it isn't really much better than Track and Field. And the graphics are way worse. 

So what's the conclusion? 

My wife's family has some nostalgia for this game, which is fair, but I can't say I'm a huge fan. It's basically, again, Track and Field with a Caveman theme. Which would be more interesting than Track and Field, if the game was comparable. It's ugly, doesn't sound great, and only plays decently. I really can't recommend it, despite thinking the idea is funny.

Codename: Viper

A little background

Hey, another Capcom game!

Code Name: Viper (the space is there in cover art!) was released in March of 1990, and is pretty much a big fat ripoff of Namco's 1986 arcade game (turned Tengen NES port), Rolling Thunder. Like, a total ripoff. Same looking sprites, same two-levels, one-shot deaths, hide in doorways...all of it. Total ripoff.

But if a ripoff does it better, then that's ok, right? Is Codename: Viper a good action platformer?

First impressions last forever

This is a really good looking game, with awesome music too. The premise is simple: you are sent to South America to bust up some drug cartels. With guns. The dialogue boxes look a bit like Bionic Commando, and when you shoot guys they literally disintegrate into dust. 

You also die really easily. Two hits (or touches of an enemy) or a single bullet, and you're done. 

But as I played further...

I really like Rolling Thunder, but I have to admit I like Codename: Viper better. The game feels a lot less picky than Rolling Thunder: you can actually shoot and jump in Viper, as well as change your jump trajectory mid-leap rather than having to completely commit. The game also looks way better, with the backgrounds being varied jungles and villages rather than the inside of some bunker. 

I will say they could have tried to be less shameless about it. Everything here is the same. You have the two-levels of play (not unlike Bad Dudes) where pressing up and jump switches floors (or down and jump pops you back down). You die very easily and have to both conserve ammo and be very smart lest you'll kick the bucket. You can hide in doorways (in this game it's spinning, weird holes in the sides of rocks) and rescue people, or find more bullets for your weapons. Even the sprites are extra tall and skinny, just like Rolling Thunder. Namco should sue. 

So what's the conclusion? 

This is a fun, arcade-style NES game! I will admit it can be very frustrating if you keep dying, or think you are ducking under a bullet and it turns out you get shot right in the head. But the game has this good mix of twitch reaction combined with careful planning and plodding (as well as hiding from enemies) that keeps it challenging but also very engaging. You'll keep coming back for more, even as the game keeps kicking you back to checkpoints. Every enemies is a potential death, and you treat it as such.
Plus it's fast, the controls are extremely responsive, and the game looks phenomenal. I just wish you had more than three continues. Even on "Easy," this game can crush you.
Copies are usually around $3-5, and I'd suggest picking it up if you find it!

Commando

A little background

Oh, Commando, Capcom's arcade classic. And back before they modernized their label style and had that awesome, vector-laser grid in the backdrop that doesn't at all look dated. Fantastic. 

Commando (or Wolf of the Battlefield in Japan, which sounds way more badass) is a well-remembered arcade game that hit the NES in May 1985. The game was a pretty faithful representation of the arcade experience (as good as the NES can be in that regard, anyway), complete with two-player and a large number of action-packed stages. This was the great grand-daddy of dual-stick shooters, back when you only had one stick and you had to move in a direction in order to shoot that way. Ah, old controls. 

First impressions last forever

This game is still a lot of fun, even from the start, though it does suffer from a whole mess of slowdown and sprite flicker. While the game plays OK on the D-Pad, it's arcade games like these that make me bust out the ol' NES Advantage and play it like god intended: on an arcade stick. Plays a lot better, trust me. 

But as I played further...

Commando is still a solid NES experience, even if it isn't as good as the arcade game. It's challenging, with bullets everywhere, and trying to stop and kill every enemy is actually not the best strategy. The game only has four levels before it cycles and you go through again, but it's fine because the second round is considerably harder. 

As stated, the shooting feels solid, grenades are powerful and plentiful, and if you like modern dual-stick shooters, you'd probably enjoy this predecessor. 

So what's the conclusion? 

I like Commando, though I honestly usually play Jackel instead for my Capcom single-stick top-down shooter needs. And remember when I told you this was a prequel to Bionic Commando? Yep, it still is. Craaaaaaaaazy. 

The slowdown and sprite flicker does get pretty bad, especially on the second round when there's a truckload of enemies and bullets, but I didn't think it was enough to ruin the experience. Commando is a lot of fun, especially with two people, and is probably an essential piece of history for any NES collector.

Copies are usually cheap as well, around $3-5.