Parasite Eve

The Short


Pros
- Unique horror RPG from Squaresoft
- Good graphics for early PS1 era
- Innovative and unique battle system and weapon upgrade system
- New Game + encourages multiple playthroughs
- Fantastic soundtrack
- Interesting story combining science with fantastic elements
- Multiple endings
- You fight a re-animated T-Rex skeleton in the Museum of Natural History. Serious Dresden files vibe.
- Only $6 on PSN

Cons
- Short
- Story hits the usual JRPG unintelligible weirdness during the last act
- Set in New York while being made by people who have no idea what New York is like
- Aya walks stupid slow
- The linear gameplay doesn't offer much in terms of leveling, weapon collection, item purchasing, etc.

Aya shows some 32-bit leg

The Long


Parasite Eve came out during Squaresoft's "silver" era of RPGs. Releasing after Final Fantasy VII but before Final Fantasy VIII and Xenogears, it was touted as an "rpg novel," based on a book by the same name published in Japan. While the sequels would take a more survival horror approach to the series, Parasite Eve is very much an RPG, combining hybrid elements from both action RPGs and ATB (active time battle, like FF IV-IX) RPGs that Squaresoft was making a billion of at the time. Completely ignoring any party systems from their previous RPGs, Parasite Eve is an anomaly in more ways than one, and because of that there is really no RPG released - even today - that is comparable with it.

Parasite Eve's story is a weird mish-mash of science, religion, and just general oddness. Basically, the mitochondria in our cells, which are the part that provide cellular energy, apparently are considered independent beings in this game. This crazy lady, calling herself Eve, has gained the power to somehow cause everybody's mitochondria to go loco, the tiny bits of the cells rebelling against the body and killing or mutating everybody (turning people into weird gel and animals into random encounters). Aya, for whatever reason, is immune to Eve's influence, and as a member of the LAPD it's her job to get rid of Eve before she royally screws everybody over.

Pictured: What nobody on the Parasite Eve dev team read

Is it stupid? Yeah, a little. But when you think of stories in video games, especially JRPGs, it really isn't that far fetched. You get to go to real-life places in New York (though the fact that Aya is a blonde bombshell and her boss is the only black man in the world just screams "Japan's view of America") just moments before (or after) Eve turns all the animals into walking mutated experience points, and it keeps the tension high while still providing enough answers to keep things interesting. It's too bad that the last chapter gets so bat-sh*t insane that I literally still do not understand what happened (it involved the Statue of Liberty and goo, which reminds me of the ending of Ghostbusters 2. Oh, and some god-baby that was born and like...blew up a boat? Oh, spoiler warning and all that) even after having beaten the game 4-5 times. Still, there is really nothing like this...well, anywhere, and especially in Squaresoft's game library, and it isn't bad enough to turn people off (until maybe the end).

The gameplay is where I really got attached to Parasite Eve. It's a totally unique experience that can be a little hard to explain, so I will provide this handy graphic I stole from the internet for your reference.

These graphics are also emulator up-rezzed. The original game looks like this, but with more BLUR

Basically, when a battle starts the camera locks and you are limited to whatever specific area of the screen you were in. Parasite Eve employs the usual "pre-rendered backdrops with 3D characters" that were a staple of PS1 era Squaresoft RPGs, so you are stuck in place until either you run or kill everything. As your AT bar (upper right, in blue) fills, you are free to run across the battlefield as much as you want, either to dodge attacks or get in a better position to shoot. That's the "active" battle part.

After your meter fills you can attack. Aya primarily uses guns, which can be upgraded to increase ammo, damage, spread, and just about everything (You can also break down guns and apply their powers to different guns, which is pretty cool if you want to make THE ULTIMATE WEAPON). When you choose to attack, that small grid appears around Aya, indicating the current weapon's range. You can shoot at enemies out of that range, but you'll probably miss. You then choose how many shots to fire off (again determined by how upgraded your weapon is), and Aya is locked in place for a second as she blasts whatever number of bullets you decided on.

It's a really clever battle system, combining ranged weapons with action-RPG elements and turn based combat to make something truly different. Back in 1990-whatever when I played this for the first time I was completely blown away. Coming off of SNES and PS1 Final Fantasy games, where characters stood on one side of the screen and waited their turn before simply executing a command, this seemed far more interactive and innovative. It's really a disappointment that they never used this again (they completely dropped it in Parasite Eve II and The Third Birthday, making them more action-shooters).

Look! I'm actively dodging attacks! In a JRPG! What is going on?!

Despite me loving this system, even I have to admit it has its flaws. Aya runs just slow enough to be annoying, making failed dodges seem more cheap than fair, and she doesn't have any other evasive moves other than simply running (no rolls, crouches, etc.). The gun upgrade system is neat but not very extensive, though it does encourage you to cycle through guns at a pretty rapid clip (lol gun pun) as you keep mixing-and-matching powers. Aya also has some magic, which is usually reserved for healing, and the gun upgrade system also applies to the various forms of body-armor you find. A major niggle I have with this game is the really, really limited inventory space. You can move stuff to a storage chest, but it's a huge pain when I can't pick up the gun I want because I have too many potions, and the game is so linear you don't always know if you can go back to a chest you left behind and pick it up later.

Parasite Eve is also a pretty short game, and not particularly difficult save the extra "dungeon" that is accessible after beating the game once. On yeah, it has a New Game + feature like Chrono Trigger, which is great feature and should be in every game. It's probably for the best that the game is short, though, since the foundations for both the story and the gameplay are a bit shaky, and trying to drag it out over a 30+ hour experience probably would have resulted it in crumbling on itself. As it stands, the 10ish hours you spend in a playthrough are a delight, like eating candy. It's great for a while, but you can't eat candy for every meal without starting to get a little sick.

Parasite Eve's soundtrack is also quite good, fitting the bill with atmospheric tracks that also make great music. The battle theme is a bit...not great, but the various places you visit have great background music, and the boss theme is quite good.

The game also looks great. If you've played Final Fantasy VIII, this game is picked right out from that era. Characters are blocky but still look better than Final Fantasy VII, backgrounds are well rendered if a bit dull (though the locals they send you to are great: zoos, hospitals, etc.), and the CG stuff was really impressive at the time, even if it hasn't aged great. The enemy design in particular is worth complimenting, taking regular animals and adding a serious dash of "messed up." It all fits into a very complete package, which is consistent with Squaresoft's standard of quality for this era. 

There is that PS1 graphical fuzziness we know and love!

As you can probably tell, I really liked Parasite Eve, despite its flaws. It's a fun ride, providing a great hybrid of horror and RPG that sticks with you even years after you've beaten it. I even liked it so much I made a game that was basically a SNES/16-bit ripoff, back when I was making DOS games in high school.

It's currently available on PSN for download as a PS1 Classic for $6. Disc copies can be found on eBay for a little more than that, used. I'd say it's certainly worth $10, which wouldn't be too hard to find. If I were to give it a star rating, it would be four out of five. 

Legendary Wings

The Short


Pros
- Two-player top down and side scrolling space shooter
- Uses regular shooting and bombs ala Xevious
- Has "State of the Art" and "High Resolution," according to the box
- Lots of good powerups and secrets
- Decent music
- The cover is a picture of an angel dude with one shoulder pad holding a future space gun

Cons
- Like every other space shooter on the NES
- The whole "cross legged pink guy" thing on the side-scrolling stage is a little weird
- Limited lives and continues

DARK, the world-ruling computer has gone rogue, and so it's time to send the angels

The Long


Legendary Wings is an NES port of the Capcom arcade game of the same name, and is pretty much another space shooter. However, where Legendary Wings differs from the multitude of others (Lifeforce, Gradius, etc.) is it's unique art style as well as the clever use of power-ups and mixing overhead with side-scrolling sections.

Legendary Wings is mostly played from a top-down perspective, where you play a some pink (or blue) angel...guy. With a gun. Enemies come in waves, and power-up enemies are specifically designated. As well as being able to shoot the air, you can drop bombs (like Xevious) to blow up enemies on the ground. Power-ups also double as extra hits, and every time you are attacked you go "down" a powerup level. The exception of this is when you get five power ups and turn into some big fire bird. Then you have a couple of hits before reverting back to sucky regular pink angel guy.

And you get to kill some dragons

The "trick" to Legendary Wings is the large number of secrets. Bombing certain area unlock caves where you can go and get bonus money, continues, and powerups. On the flip side, some of these caves are bad, which forces you to go through a challenging side-scrolling section before kicking you out exactly where you were. Rude.

Bosses recycle frequently, mostly being the "shoot the weak point when it is available" variety and then in different colors. You also fight dragons on the top-down view, which aren't particularly challenging.

What is memorable about this game is how silly the angels look in the side view stages. Seriously, why are they flying with their legs crossed? Why do their wings looked tacked on? Why are they lounging back with their guns like they are on some street corner trying to pick up ladies?

That just looks awkward. 

All in all, if you like these kinds of games, Legendary Wings is certainly better than the droves of space shooter garbage that came out on the NES. It is better than it's arcade counterpart, and can be a lot of fun two-player. The game also gets very difficult very quickly (it wouldn't be an NES game if it didn't), so it can take several tries before you finally beat it.

Plus, it's state-of-the-art and high resolution! It says so right on the box!

I snagged my copy for $3, but I usually see it from $5-6. If you are a fan of these kinds of games, it's totally worth it. If I were to give it a score rating, it would be three out of five.

3-D World Runner

Video Review/Episode

Text Review

The Short

Pros
- 3D Platformer on the NES
- Created by Square (as in, the Final Fantasy guys)
- Music by Nobuo Uematsu (aka, the Final Fantasy composer)
- Eight worlds, but to quote my friend Davy "Nobody makes it past level 3!"
- Easy to play, extremely difficult to master
- If you press select and have red/green 3D glasses, you can play in REAL 3D!
- Can pick it up for about $2-3

Cons
- Gets really difficult really fast
- Some cheap deaths
- Shooting enemies kind of sucks and takes away from the platforming
- Only has two songs for the whole game
- Is really just a ripoff of Space Harrier with a platforming emphasis

Milking the power of the NES

The Long

3-D World Runner (yes, the dash is part of the title) is one of my favorite NES games. Back in my freshman year of college, my neighbor Davy had an NES hooked up to a really old TV, and a whole suitcase of NES games. After playing through a handful of them I finally got stuck on 3-D World Runner, a simple 3D platformer that was really easy to pick up and play (unlike most NES games). After several months of trial and error (and roommates/hallmates cheering me on) I finally got past the hell that was Level 3, and made it all the way to Level 6 before finally being unable to go any further. It was quite the accomplishment.

3-D World Runner is an extremely simple game that still manages to have the same addicting, "one more go" pull of great platformers like Super Meat Boy. Essentially, you hold forward to run, press A to jump, and the longer you hold A the longer you stay in the air. That's where the trick to 3-D World Runner come in: it gives you massive pits you have to traverse, and you have to figure out the exact timing of your jumps. It has liberal checkpoints (at least in the first couple of levels), lets you do the whole "hold A when pressing Start when you continue to pick up on the world you died on" (ala Super Mario Bros.), and is really just a blast to play.

Play...IN 3D! Roger Ebert, eat your heart out. 

It's lack of direction, however, can screw you up the first couple of plays. You are always going forward (the rate just increases as you hold forward...be prepared to hold forward the entire time you play) and the way to get items is to ram your face into poles and hope a present comes out. It's also worth noting that, unlike Mario, Mushrooms in this game instantly kill you. The crap you want is the rocket (gives you the option to shoot with the B button), the potion (gives you one more hit from enemies), the heart (extra life), and the little atom symbol (gives you the most useless invulnerability in any video game: it only lasts like 5 seconds, not long enough to recover your momentum from ramming the pole).

There is also a trick in World 2 where, if you are patient, you can essentially get unlimited lives. In one area you can pick up two extra lives by going to secret warp zones. Then you just die, start at the checkpoint (one life richer) and repeat. If you really hate yourself, you could do this for hours until you had 99 lives, but I can't recommend it.

The bosses really look like Space Harrier

At the end of the level you fly into the air and have to shoot some big beastie (or multiple big beasties). These fights are quite easy, even when the bosses are "invisible" (you can still figure out where they are because of their shadows), the only problem happens when there are like six of them and you are on a timer.

It would be fair to say I'm biased against this game because I really caught on to it during my freshman year of High School. In all honesty, most people probably won't get past Level 3 (Even though levels 4 and 5 are a lot easier), and the general repetition of the game will probably turn a lot of people off. It does introduce things like springboards that are required to traverse the longer pits (they are the reason Level 3 is rough), and the game was good enough to merit a Japan-only sequel, but considering Square released this the same year as the first Final Fantasy, I think it's safe to say which series took off.

The full title is apparently "The 3-D Battles of World Runner." Even though there aren't many battles. 

So...should you buy it? Well, I found it at my overpriced retro gaming store for $3, and they always seem to have extra copies. It is personally one of my most favorite NES games (and the first one I got when I got the system last year), and while it isn't exactly a well-known classic, it will provide at least a few hours of fun.

Plus...IT'S IN 3D! What more do you want?

If I were to give it a star rating, it would be Four out of Five. 

As a bonus, here is the main song in the game (the only other one plays during bosses...and I guess there is an ending song). I learned how to play it on the piano, and proceeded to bug the crap out of all my roommates for years to come.