Pokemon Snap

The Short


Pros
- Unique photography game set in the world of Pokemon
- Courses have a hefty amount of replay value, even if there aren't a lot of them
- Photo grading is fun, leads to upgrades, and can prove addicting
- Seeing the pokemon in their "natural habitats" is fun, in a sort of weird, voyeuristic way
- Graphics look quite good
- Used to be able to print out the pictures you took as stickers at a "Pokemon Snap Station"
- On the Wii Virtual Console

Cons
- Only has 63 pokemon. They should have at least added one more since this is on the Nintendo 64
- Only seven locations to visit
- "Pokemon Snap Stations" used to be in Blockbuster Videos, and we all know what happened to both of these things
- Can beat the entire game 100% in only a couple of hours

It's time to play poke-photographer

The Long

Pokemon Snap was the first Pokemon game to take the jump to 3D graphics. After playing Red/Blue and the whole series exploding, those of us with Nintendo 64s were excited to finally get to play a 3D Pokemon game. 3D battles! 3D training! It's gonna be awesome!

So when it was Pokemon Snap, a lot of people were disappointed. You don't battle, you just...take pictures? It's on-rails (in the most literal sense), so all you do is point and shoot while it moves on its own? Only 63 pokemon? What is this?

If one can cast aside the initial disappointment (and subsequent disappointment because Nintendo still hasn't made a 3D Pokemon game), you'll be pleased to find that Pokemon Snap is actually an excellent game, especially if you are a fan of the Pokemon series.

Getting Charizard to show up can be tricky

The premise of Pokemon Snap is simple. Your goal is to take pictures of pokemon for Professor Oak, and to do this you'll be put on a safe cart thing (kind of like the on-rails cars in Jurassic Park, only with less people getting eaten) and shuttled through one of seven locations. While you are there your goal is to quickly take as many pictures as possible (with a 60 picture limit per trip), and after Professor Oak will grade your pictures and reward you accordingly. 

You'd be surprised to know it actually works well, and can be quite addicting. As you progress you get special items (apples, pester balls, etc.) that you can throw out into the world and influence the levels you've ran through before. Doing this will reveal a whole new batch of pokemon to photograph, giving this game a sort of adventure game discovery aspect to it. It's pretty cool to finally figure out how to get one of the legendary birds to show up, for example, and then take a killer picture of it. 

Zapdos! Quick, grab your pokeball...I mean camera!

It's a simple game, but one that works well, especially if you are a fan of Pokemon. The grading system is pretty accurate, giving you incentive to learn how to take better pictures to earn better scores. The seven stages are all unique as well, and each holds their own secrets, to playing through them again provides a new experience each time. It is also cool to just see the pokemon running around doing their thing in the "wild," which at this point in time we'd never seen before except in the anime. 

Back in 1999 there were some other cool things you could do. You could actually take your cartridge to a Blockbuster Video and plug it into a "Pokemon Snap!" machine, and then print off your photos as stickers (they were like $3 each, but whatever...it made Pokemon REAL). Unfortunately these things don't exist anymore, but the Wii's Virtual Console version allows you to email the pictures to yourself or post them on a message board, meaning you can print them out. That's a...surprising amount of dedication from Nintendo for a re-release, considering how they usually just phone it in for most of their reissues. So good on them!

I want to own one of these

The game looks good, which makes sense considering it's a game about taking photographs. All the pokemon are well animated and are well realized in their polygonal renderings, and the environments are all varied and fun to traverse. It's clear that, despite this being a Pokemon photography game, Nintendo put some effort in to make it not suck. And it worked: Pokemon Snap doesn't suck. It's actually pretty good.

I love how it says "THIS IS A GAME PAK. NOT A CAMERA." right on the back of the box. You know, just in case.  

There really isn't any game like Pokemon Snap. Dead Rising tried to incorporate it's photography rating system in with the rest of the game (zombie mashing), and Bioshock did a similar thing with its camera (giving you bonuses against enemies you took good pictures of). You'd be surprised, but it also stands up against the test of time, proving to be just as fun and addicting now as it was back in 1999. It's weird, because when I first heard of this game I really wanted to hate it, but after playing it then and replaying it now, I can't help but think it's a blast. Especially for kids who like Pokemon, this game is both charming and fun. 

It runs for $10 on the virtual console, which I think is an excellent price, especially with its increased functionality. If you are a Pokemon fan and ignored this game, check it out! Once you get past the somewhat odd premise you'll find a game that is wholly unique and a joy to play. It's a short lived experience (maybe 3-4 hours at most before you "Photograph 'em all") but a good one, so it comes with my recommendation.

Four out of five stars. But if you don't like Pokemon, you can probably cut 2-3 stars off that rating. It's still a good game! But the Pokemon aesthetic is really what sells it.

Now make a sequel, Nintendo! With Wii-mote support!

See ya, Snorlax

Pokemon Puzzle League

The Short


Pros
- Apes the Tetris Attack formula perfectly, creating an addicting experience
- Lots of options, people to battle, and puzzles to...puzzle.
- Basically this is Tetris Attack with a Pokemon skin. Hard to say much else about it.

Cons
- Only two players (instead of four)
- Voices of characters from the anime are extremely obnoxious
- Not much here that hadn't already been brought out in Tetris Attack back on the SNES

Get ready for some puzzles in a league of their own!

The Long

Tetris Attack is a pretty good game. I first played it on its Japanese iteration Panel de Pon, on a Virgin Atlantic flight to and from London. They had SNES's installed in the seats (yeah!) and for some reason had this Japanese game on it. It was a 12 hour flight, and I'm pretty sure I played it almost the entire duration. It was that addicting.

The US version (Tetris Attack) replaced the underaged fairy girls (oh, Japan) from Panel de Pon with Yoshi and other Mario characters, which isn't too surprising. Then, when 2000 rolled around and the N64 and Pokemon where hot topics, they released a skinned version of the game for the N64. Thus, Pokemon Puzzle League came into existence. 

Ash has that expression every time he earns a badge. I first thought it was stupid, now it's weirdly hilarious. 

I should probably have reviewed Tetris Attack before this one, but it's too late now, so whatever. Tetris Attack...er...Pokemon Puzzle League is a fairly simple puzzle game. You are given a grid filled with colored blocks, and you can switch two at a time horizontally (as many times as you want). Your goal is to get sets of three (or more) to clear out space. If your blocks reach the top, you are done. Pretty easy.

One of the big differences between Tetris Attack and Pokemon Puzzle League is that in Tetris Attack's main single player mode your goal was to simply clear down to a line. As you progressed the blocks would keep coming up, and after a while a line would appear and if you got rid of all the blocks above that line you won.

Not so in Pokemon Puzzle League. Here you are battling your way through the original gym leaders of Pokemon Red/Blue in an attempt to be the pokemon master. Which makes sense I guess, but I'm sad to see that other mode isn't the main attraction this time, as having a single player that's primarily competitive in a puzzle game is a bit...weird.

This isn't the Pokemon I'm used to. 

So how do you battle? Well first you pick a pokemon (and which one you pick seems to have no effect on how the game goes, elemental weaknesses or otherwise) and then you start swapping blocks. If you get four or more in a row or make combos, you'll drop big blocks on your enemies. They then have to make matches near these big solid blocks (something like 2x4 or bigger, etc.) and then they'll turn into regular colored blocks and can be erased by puzzling. That's it. It's pretty simple, and all that really changes is the speed increases until the end. Failing can be based both on skill and luck, with luck being the key factor in the end levels. 

It also has two player multiplayer, but for some reason they didn't add four player multiplayer (which, honestly, was the reason I got this game even though I already owned Tetris Attack. I should wiki these games before I buy them for very specific feature inclusions). Dr. Mario 64 added four player multiplayer just fine; what gives? Without it, there isn't any fundamental improvement over Tetris Attack, because Tetris Attack had a VS mode too. There are no bonus features here at all, aside from the Pokemon skin.

Oh, and speaking of that...

There's that face again. 

Every time anybody talks in the game I want to punch them. Tetris Attack had a few voice clips, but most were just "Stop!" if you stopped the timer or a "Yeah!" when you won. In this game, people won't shut up. It's like they realized the N64 had more space on the cartridge, so they crammed all the voices from the anime. If you or an enemy make any match, expect them to shout one of three canned phrases. And since you only play as Ash, you'll hear all his lines after about the second battle. Considering their voice acting isn't exactly...good, this is really, really, really annoying. 

"RAWR I'M ASH RAWR LOOK AT THAT HEART RAWR"

The graphics also haven't seen much of an upgrade. Honestly I think it looks worse, and I like Pokemon. It's muddy (like all N64 games) but they don't use any of the power to add new effects or change things up or anything. Even the backgrounds are more soulless, mostly just showing the same generic Pokemon arena, while in Tetris Attack the backgrounds were bright and colorful. It's a step down, to be sure.

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRR"

It still works as a game, because the core formula is so extremely strong. There's a reason I played it for 12 hours nonstop (and not just because I was trapped in a plane and my GBA SP's battery died). It's a puzzle game that's extremely easy to pick up but gets difficult very quickly, making it perfect for when you have a few hours to burn. 

However, if you really want to play this type of game, I'd suggest any version aside from this one. Or you could turn the volume off on your TV, which would fix 90% of the problems. Yeah, you should just do that. 

I still like this game, but since this N64 version has literally no improvements over Tetris Attack on the SNES (and only takes things away in terms of awful Ash Ketchum voice screeching at me constantly), I'll probably just always play Tetris Attack instead. AS SHOULD YOU.

Three out of five screaming Ash faces. 

"I WILL EAT YOUR SOULS."

RAWR

Pokemon Black/White

Pokemon Black/White

The Short

Pros

- All new adventure with 152 new pokemon

- You won't see any pokemon from previous generations during your initial adventure through the game world; all new pokemon

- Battles are presented in pseudo 3D for the first time, with the pokemon being fully animated throughout

- Excellent graphics and music

- Day/Night cycle as well as a monthly seasonal cycle

- TMs can now be used repeatedly

- Story plays a much bigger role, with more characters and variations on the theme than any other Pokemon game

- Excellent music

- Marked as a "new" Pokemon game, it certainly feels much different than its predecessors, mostly for the better

Cons

- Despite having "new" pokemon, they are all still very similar to previous generation's

- Still 2D sprites, which means when they zoom in on the new 3D plane they look kind of...bad

- Bottom screen is replaced by the C-Gear, which uses wireless features that the causal player will probably never use

- No new region to visit after the game, though it does have a lot of post game content

We are coming to the (current) end of our Pokemon journey

The Long

It's been a long time since Pokemon Red/Blue started this whole mad craze. The obsession has died down a little, though the series still pulls both the dedicated fans and newcomers with every release. Game Freak and Nintendo have managed to do well keeping with the same formula, despite calls to change it over the years. After rereleasing HeartGold/SoulSilver, fans had been wanting something new from their Pokemon. Seeing the remake really made people (myself included) see how much has stayed the same, and we were ready for not just another rerelease (like Pokemon Diamond/Pearl)

So here we are, with Pokemon White/Black, the latest in the Pokemon franchise. Nintendo made a big deal saying this was a brand new take on the Pokemon series, with more changes than you can shake a stick at. Does it live up to fan expectations?

Battles look quite good.

Well, there are certainly the laundry list of changes and improvements here. Let's blitz through them, shall we?

Improved Graphics - Probably one of the biggest pushes, the battlefields are now in actual 3D, meaning you can zoom in and out, pan, and do all sorts of other crazy things to keep the action fast. While it looks good, the battles still take place in Gradiantland, and the characters are still pixelated sprites (albeit animated ones). this means when it zooms and pans around them, when you get close they look kind of...bad. High resolution pokemon probably would have helped them look less bad. But I still think it's a good start, and the ability for the game to provide camera control spices up the battles in ways that we haven't seen before. 

Other improved graphics are the overworld, which has again seen an overhaul. There's much more 3D in the world this time (though again: you are still a 2D sprite). Cities can be spun around, and you aren't locked to a simple "overhead" view in every situation. It looks really good, so kudos to them for that. As it stands, this is probably the best looking Pokemon game yet, if you can get over the pixelated battle graphics.

City graphics look loads better, and give a better sense of scope

Day/Night and Seasonal Cycles - The Day/Night thing is back, though it's even better in this one (the cities at night, as you can see above, is really cool), but as an added bonus there are seasons now. They don't follow the actual seasons, but change on a monthly (real time) basis. This is really cool, because it also switches up which pokemon are available when, as well as changing the way the entire game world looks.

Musical Changes - The music in this game is really good, but they've done some tweaks that make it better. In battles, if your pokemon run low on health the battle song will fade into a more intense, stressful song until you put out one with more life. And when battling bosses (Gym leaders), when they are on their final pokemon the song also changes to a more victorious one. It's a little thing, but a good one. 

Team Plasma's song is caaaatchy.

Better Story - The Pokemon games have always been very sparse when it comes to story, and for good reason. It works because you are meant to carve your own path and use your own imagination. Diamond/Pearl tried to do a balance of both telling you a story and making you "choose your own adventure," and it worked ok but not great. Pokemon Black/White, however, actually has a really well crafted story that provides the perfect balance between player investment and the game telling you what is going on. The "Team" (aka the bad guys) this round are Team Plasma, who aren't trying to conquer the world or blow anything up but rather are fighting for pokemon rights. It's a really interesting setup (considering the moral ramification of capturing animals for the sole purpose of making them fight forever for you), but they never get very deep with it, probably because it's still a kid's game. The lack of depth is a little unfortunate, but it is still the strongest and most interesting story in the series. 

You also have two "rivals" in this game, who leave with you and both take very unique paths on both pokemon training and careers. It's neat to see how other people in this world aren't all just wanted to be pokemon battlers. 

This game has a unique story, which is a good step forward for this series

All new pokemon - Unlike the previous games, where it was sort of a mis-mash of every pokemon from every single game, Black/White only has the brand new 152 pokemon until you've beaten the entire game, meaning you won't see any repeats your first run. While this is actually really cool, the "new" pokemon are almost carbon copies of the old ones. Geodudes are replaced with Roggenrollas, which are the exact same type, level at almost the same level, and evolve the same way. So they are new pokemon, I guess, though the promise of the experience being wholly unique isn't entire accurate.

Some battle changes - Now there are triple battles (which are exactly what they sound like), and rotation battles (where you can switch between three to fight one-at-a-time). It's a fairly basic change, but a decent one.

Pokemon Musical - This isn't a pro, though it did replace the awful contests. Now they can be in a musical! That sucks too. Done.

The new pokemon are some of the best

Those are the basic improvements, and they are complimented by an improved UI, a faster-paced battle system, and some of the best looking new pokemon since Gold/Silver's batch. I'm pretty picky and jaded against my pokemon, so seeing new ones that actually look good and have that needed mix of "unique" and "kind of insane" that first the series well.

People complain about Vanillish, but I think it's awesome, in a sort of stupid way

The music in this game is also a return to form, with some of the best songs in the series. The boss/Gym songs are all excellent, the Team Plasma battles (as you can hear above) are great, and it even has a remix version of that kickin Cynthia song from Pearl/Diamond/Platinum that's even faster and more intense. I'm glad that song finally got a good game.

The new final boss song is also excellent.

While I still stand by the fact that Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver are my favorite on the DS (and perhaps favorite ever), I will openly admit that Black/White is technically a superior Pokemon game. While it isn't exactly the alleged revolution to the formula that Nintendo claimed, it still makes enough major improvements and refinements to help this game feel more modern than ever before. It's a hard call whether to recommend this game or SoulSilver, so I'll just tell you that you should buy both, and play SoulSilver first. Because for all my nostalgia, it's hard to go back to any other Pokemon game after playing White/Black. It's a large step in a right direction, and here's hoping Black/White Version 2 continues with the improvements. 

So you should go get this game. Right now. Five out of five stars. 

There are a LOT of pokemon now. 

Pokemon Dash

The Short


Pros
- Has 25 tracks, and you can import tracks based off your pokemon from Ruby/Sapphire or FireRed/LeafGreen
- Has a fair number of pokemon in it

Cons
- Is a full price, glorified, branded tech demo for the Nintendo DS
- "Gameplay" is nonexistent, and they didn't even bother to try and mix up their awful formula
- Graphics look awful, even for an early NDS title.
- It also sounds awful. Bonus.
- Why does this game exist? It's nothing but a trick for mothers or little children who want Pokemon, but then they get it for Christmas and after playing it for five minutes realize it's a trick and swear revenge against this world that has so betrayed them, and next thing you know they are committing arson and knocking down mailboxes. So basically this game is the cause of school shootings.

They really are trying to get me to hate Pokemon, aren't they. 

The Long

So listen: I like the DS, and I like Pokemon. I don't mind spin-off games if they are still ok games (even though I bagged on Hey You, Pikachu! it isn't offensive to me, just poor). This game, Pokemon Dash, offends me. It offends me as a Pokemon fan, it offends me as somebody who has to earn his own money to buy games, and most importantly it offends me as a gamer. Pokemon Dash is utter garbage that shouldn't exist, and the fact they pawned it off at full price as an early Nintendo DS game (when the system was in dire need of some games) just makes this whole thing worse.

Now that that is out of the way, here is my completely unbiased, objective review of Pokemon Dash.

Oh my gosh this game is so horrible.  

So the point of this game is to race Pikachu against every other pokemon in existence, and by every other I mean like a few dozen at most. Pikachu runs in a stright line and you have next to no control over him, besides motivating him to go faster. How do you do this? By scratching the bottom of the screen as fast as you can with the DS stylus. Yes. That is literally the entire game. You quickly swipe in a direction, Pikachu goes that way (faster if you swipe Fast) and then you either win or you lose. Most of it is automated. This is the whole game.

The whole top screen is completely useless. There's a "radar" which is useless, a current ranking (which could have been done on the bottom screen) and nothing else. The bottom screen is filled with ugly, awful graphics as you watch Pikachu from your observation chopper, ordering his every move. There are a few mixups, like certain terrain requires you to pick up an item before crossing them or else you'll slow to a crawl, but other than that you just...swipe. That's it. 

This is one ugly-ass game. 

You have 25 courses, and you can import your pokemon from the GBA games and it'll make races out of them, which makes me wonder why they didn't just include them in the game, since there aren't a lot of tracks here anyway. Instead you have to own both games, and if you own a GBA pokemon game and have it in your DS you should probably just be playing it instead of this crap.

The pokemon sounds are all annoying. They aren't as bad in an actual Pokemon game because you don't hear them all that often, but you hear them all the time in this monstrosity. The graphics, as I said before, look completely awful. I'd rather play Hey You, Pikachu! from start to finish than boot this awful thing up again.

Wow, Pikachu, I never realized you were such a Warrior Poet. 

I don't want to talk about this game anymore. There is nothing redeemable about it. It's essentially just a DS tech demo, and they should have given it away for free. Or better yet, just not released it. Instead they put it out with the Pokemon logo, inspiring false hopes that it might actually have something good inside of its plastic box.

It doesn't.

Zero out of five stars. 

"Mewoth, that's right!"

Hey You, Pikachu!

The Short


Pros
- Can talk to Pikachu and make him do things
- Actually has a lot of stuff to do
- Looks ok for an N64 game
- Is probably good if you are a kid. And live in 2000.

Cons
- Pikachu is either an idiot or hates me because he never does anything I say
- Required microphone only works for this game and another game released in Japan. Useful!
- Lots of games, but most aren't particularly fun
- The definition of "crappy cash-grab spinoff"

This is going to be awesome.

The Long

So Nintendo has this thing for releasing crap to go along with their consoles. I think this probably stems from back in the NES days, where they marketed it more as a "toy" than a "video game console" due to the stigma following the great video game market crash. In an attempt to make the NES appear more like a "toy," they unloaded a massive amount of garbage for it (or allowed third party people to do it) such as the R.O.B. robot, the Power Glove, etc. Most of these crappy add-ons were expensive, annoying, and only worked with one or two games before they were swiftly abandoned.

Nintendo has continued this practice to this day, though it took a slight break during the SNES period (Super Scope, anyone?). The N64 was graced with a memory card, a rumble pak, an actual RAM expansion (that became required to play some games), a CD-Drive (that never made it out of Japan), and this microphone. In fact, now that I think about it, they had a microphone on the Gamecube too, for that one game...Odama. I think that's the only game that used it there, too.

Oh, and Wii Speak, for the Wii! That worked in...uh...Animal Crossing? Was that it? I guess you could voice chat in like The Conduit, but who would want to; it was a thing that sat on your TV (like my Kinect, only somehow dumber). The DS and 3DS also have microphones, but they only use them on early DS games to blow on things (usually for minigames or in Zelda: Phantom Hourglass) and...that's it. 

In a world where Siri is actually pretty brilliant, and Microsoft is making their Kinect toy more and more powerful, it's weird to look back and see that Nintendo had a piece of that pie, but instead of eating it or selling it they sort of left it in the fridge to get moldy. But this isn't a post about Nintendo's pie aversion, it's a post about Hey You, Pikachu! a game that aspires nothing more than to be mediocre, and succeeds heartily. 

Yeup, there he is. 

Hey You, Pikachu! is essentially a collection of minigames on the Nintendo 64 which are all Pokemon themed. There are about seven actual activities in all, ranging from keeping a bunch of Caterpie's awake so they can evolve, searching for treasures, and so on. The gimmick here is that you don't directly control Pikachu (your proxy into this mad world) but have to issue him voice commands instead. And this works exactly as well as you'd think based on year 2000 voice recognition technology.

Yeah, you suck. 

I would yell, whisper, articulate, and try everything in my power to get Pikachu to understand what I was telling him, but it only worked maybe 25% of the time. The rest of the time he either completely misinterpreted or just ignored me. Which, if this were real Pokemon, would be about the time I forced him back into his Pokeball and replaced him with another one who can understand me.

The biggest problem might be the microphone itself. That warning on the box that says "For Ages 12 and under" isn't a coincidence; the microphone is made to better detect higher-pitched voices rather than all of us who've passed puberty. So even if you have a high voice for an adult male (which my tenor-singing self will begrudgingly admit) odds are your words just aren't making it through the mic, much less into Pikachu's tiny brain. Why would you limit your technology like this? Was it too hard for actual voice recognition? 

The game looks decent for an N64 game. Too bad it isn't fun at all. 

This might be ok if the minigames themselves were fun, but most are just boring endeavors that focus heavily on yelling at Pikachu to do things for you. I won't elaborate further than that, though I will give it a bit of the benefit of the doubt by saying they'd probably be ok for kids, though kids these days are much more video-game adept than I was as a kid and can recognize a bad game on sight (usually. Angry Birds still sells for some reason.) so maybe it won't even be good for kids either.

Why is Pikachu on my bed? Giving me a "come hither" look?

Graphically it actually looks pretty good. It's polygonal and blurry but that's all N64 games, so we can't fault it for that. The music is just a bunch of poppy, boring songs made to be background noise, and you probably won't hear them over your repeated yelling at the screen trying to get Pikachu do to one simple task, which he will then ignore you and just play around by himself. Hey, it's like having a real pet!

I imagined the Zelda "Got Item" sound when I saw this picture. 

I'm more than willing to forgive a spin-off game if it still is a decent game (see Pokemon Pinball).  I'm even willing to forgive a movie game if it is still a decent game (see Saw). But this game, either by the limit of its tech or being just plain rushed, falls flat in nearly every aspect. When it does work it's actually pretty fun, as fun as ordering an electric rodent around in minigames is. But the fact that it only works half the time (if that) kills it, especially since the people playing it in this day and age will probably be in their twenties and have too low of voices for the microphone to even work.

So, you get one out of five stars, Hey You, Pikachu! You might have been more forgivable back in 2000, but since I remember seeing you as a kid in the height of my Pokemon obsession and still thinking you looked idiotic, I'm guessing no. 

Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver

Pokemon SoulSilver/HeartGold Version

Note: I will not be going over the basic mechanics of the Pokemon games in this review, as I have covered these mechanics extensively in my Pokemon Blue/Red review. Instead, all subsequent reviews will instead focus on the changes made to the formula in any particular iteration. 

The Short

Pros

- Remake of the best Pokemon generation

- First pokemon will follow you around like in Pokemon Yellow

- Has all the pokemon from the previous games

- Complete experience is retained, including the whole second region (Kanto) you can return to after beating Johto, as well as more bonus areas.

- Lets you import your GBA pokemon, just like in Pokemon Diamond/Pearl

- "Pokewalker" pedometer included for free, lets you walk your pokemon around and level them

- Modernized with better uses of the touch screen

- Most graphics (menues, effects, walkaround, etc.) have seen a minor upgrade since Diamond/Pearl

- Insane amounts of content, customizability, and with the improvements the game is more accessible and fun than ever

Cons

- Battle graphics still look like something off the GBA

- Doesn't add anything particularly substantial 

- Does add another minigame collection, which thankfully you can completely ignore

- Pokewalker only works with this generation; doesn't work for older ones or Black/White

Time to replay the best Pokemon game

The Long

I'm really trying to not bias this review with my nostalgia goggles. After getting annoyed at Pokemon Diamond/Pearl, when I heard the next DS release would be a remake of Gold/Silver (much like FireRed/LeafGreen on the GBA) I freaked out. They were remaking my favorite Pokemon generation? With better graphics, controls, and updated with all the new pokemon? Sign me up!

So there is obviously a bit of bias here. I make no qualms in saying that Gold/Silver is the best Pokemon generation, in terms of improvement, controls, gameplay, and the pokemon themselves. So I'll try my best to not just gush like crazy over this game, but it'll be hard.

Because this game is really good. 

The return of Totodile!

Ok, let's just get the first bit over with: this is a very faithful remake of Gold/Silver. Like FireRed/LeafGreen, Nintendo has taken great reverence in making sure this version is faithful to the original formula (and considering they haven't changed the Pokemon formula much since then, it isn't that hard). So if you go read my Gold/Silver review, you can get the general gist of why that game is so fantastic.

So what is different, or better? Well, quite a few things, actually.

First off, the touch screen controls are finally excellent. While you still have to hit a button to get to the menu, it's all on the bottom screen now, be it pokemon selection, items, or whatever. It all has touchscreen controls now (finally) which works really well. It streamlines the interface (an opportunity that Diamond/Pearl completely neglected) and makes the often tedious menu-interactions of the Pokemon games a lot better. 

The bottom screen is much more useful. Except when its in Japanese. 

This game also employs the same great art style of Diamond/Pearl with it's overworld map, though I think it's been tweaked a little. Colors are much more vibrant in this version, and new additions to the world (like windmills outside Route 14 and New Bark Town) make it really feel like you are off on a great adventure, seeing new things and having new experiences. Unlike many remakes of games, everything changed in this one aesthetically is for the better, with one small exception.

Battle graphics still look like the GBA

The pokemon animate a bit in battle again (like they did in Crystal and the updated Platinum) which is nice, and the art design seems better this time around than in Pearl/Diamond, but the game still looks dated. I get that it's easier to just make sprites than 3D models, and I actually prefer pixelated sprites over bad 3D (which is why I never got too into the N64). But you could at least make the backdrops interesting! Gradients are all you could use? Really? And you could probably also shrink down the "WHAT WILL MEGANIUM DO" up there and put it on the bottom screen, so that the battle screen doesn't look so freaking cluttered. I mean, all the menu options are on the bottom, why not have the top just be an aesthetic representation of the fight with all the words, hpts, etc. on the bottom? Would be nice.

Making the Pokedex touchscreen was a huge boost. 

Anyway all this is a moot point because not updating the battle graphics is really my only complaint about Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver (well, and the fact they didn't remake Crystal). Yeah, all they added (minus all the improvements since Gold/Silver originally came out) was a stupid minigame collection, but I'm actually fine with that. "But Nathan," you'll say, "you dissed Diamond/Pearl because they only added a minigame collection and had GBA sprites, but you clearly are infatuated with this stupid remake! What gives?" To which I say, "Shut up, you silly sod. Yeah, if you looked at HeartGold/SoulSilver with that same critical eye you'd notice similar flaws, but the point is you don't notice the flaws if the game underneath is good enough." That's always been Pokemon's thing: they refine the system a little, but if they can keep the whole "I'm going on an adventure!" aspect and make it work, a player will overlook the GBA graphics and lack of innovation. Gold/Silver is the best adventure the series has to offer, and I don't mean in terms of story, I mean in terms of immersion and just straight up content. These games have tons of stuff to do. You have two entire worlds to burn through (Johto and then Kanto from the first generation) and bonus stuff beyond that. And since this bonus content isn't just minigame garbage (like in Diamond/Pearl) I'm willing to forgive it.

I think I put 140 hours into this game, and I never did a single minigame. I beat the gym leaders of Johto, crushed the Elite Four and the Champion Drake, went to Kanto and smashed everybody there, too (including Blue, Red's original rival from the very first game), went back and fought the improved Elite Four, hunted down legendary dogs, caught the lv. 80 Ho-Oh (you can catch both legendaries in this game, just one is a lot easier than the other), and entered the hardest dungeon in an attempt to beat Red, the baddest mother-effer in the Pokemon universe. Except maybe Cynthia in Black. But we aren't going there yet. 

Oh man, that song is awesome.

This is after hours and hours, all of which I never got bored. I get bored in Pearl/Diamond after like three or four hours. Yeah, maybe it's my rose-tinted goggles, or maybe it's because HeartGold/SoulSilver is really good. 

There are a few other cool additions. One of my favorites, having your pokemon follow you around, has returned. Unlike Yellow, though, you aren't limited to just Pikachu; whomever you have first in your party lineup tags along. And you can talk to them and get some interesting...feedback. It's cool and again does what it did in Yellow: immerses you in the adventure.

Let's go kick some butt!

Another new thing is the Pokewalker, a pedometer with infrared capabilities. On the back of these DS carts (and these carts only; the Pokewalker doesn't work with any other set of games) there's an infrared transmitter, which you can then send any pokemon in the game (and every generation before this one, since all are available) to the walker to...walk around with you, I guess. On the Pokewalker it has some games that you can play in exchange for spending your "steps" you've earned for walking around with it. It sounds dumb, but you can actually get some really rare pokemon really early if you get off your couch (where you are presumably playing Pokemon) and walk around for a bit. 

I wore this thing around college for the month or so I was playing this game, with no shame. Maybe I'm just a lunatic, but I certainly spotted a few other people with them, so I'm not the only one. It has an item finding minigame on it, as well as a pokemon catching game. I just wish it had more of a Tamugachi thing as well; it would make it more interactive and fun. But whatever. 

The fact this actually works is kind of nuts. 

The music (as evidenced by the song above) is all remakes of the original tunes, but unlike FireRed/LeafGreen where I felt the remakes were "just ok," I found these remade songs in HeartGold/SoulSilver to actually be better than the originals. Yeah, I just punched nostalgia in the face and said remade music was better. Mark it down, because this'll probably be the only time I'll ever say that about any game ever. 

And yes, the day/night cycle is back. And the horde of Hoothoots to accompany it. 

As I've stated multiple times throughout this review, you could probably just shrug this off as me remembering Gold/Silver/Crystal fondly and applying it to this game, but it's worth noting that I'm a lot older now. Older and jaded and angry at the world (and JRPGs in general, but that's a whole other can of worms). I'm not going to give a Pokemon game a pass just because it reminds me of one I really liked, especially since it had been almost a decade since I'd last played Crystal, so I had no idea if it was good or just me being a child. 

Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver is my favorite DS iteration of Pokemon, and by a very long shot. Yeah, Black/White is great (and expect a review shortly), but something about HeartGold/SoulSilver stuck with me. I've never wanted to replay a Pokemon game shortly after considering it "finished" (I usually just play until I'm so sick of pocket monsters I don't want to even look at another one for a year, which is conveniently when the next game tends to come out), but with HeartGold/SoulSilver I really want to replay it (and can't, because it still only has one save file. Lame!) and have wanted too ever since I beat the upgraded Champion. 

This is Pokemon at its finest: loaded with content, tons of pokemon, a fun story, great graphics, amazing music, and just an overall grand adventure. If you have a DS I really recommend picking this up, even if you aren't a Pokemon fan. It might just make a believer out of you.

Five out of five stars. 

Pokemon Trading Card Game

The Short


Pros
- Successfully emulates both the trading card game and the regular Pokemon formula
- Lots of bosses/Gym leaders to fight, cards to unlock, and decks to make and manage
- The inclusion of RPG elements and unlocks help the game retain some replayability

Cons
- Looks kind of ugly
- If you don't like the Pokemon Card Game, you'll pretty much hate this
- No cards from Gold/Silver, despite coming out the same year
- Is basically just a bunch of boss fights you can repeat for more cards, until you get to the last boss

We are really getting in deep now

The Long

So...trading card games. Something I've always had a fascination with, but never got too deep into. Oh, I've had several decks of Magic: The Gathering cards. I also had two decks of Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and that Vs. Battle thing that had Marvel heroes or whatever in it (I've also played Killer Bunnies with all the expansions, which is nuts). For some reason these games fascinate me, but I don't get invested because it's too expensive, and eventually you'll hit that rich kid who bought all the best cards with his parents' money and then your life is over because you'll never, ever beat him (or her). 

Anyway, I'm exactly the kind of person who things like Pokemon Trading Card Game...the game appeals to. There are no boosters to buy, no rich punks to outwit, and if you hit an enemy who is too hard you can usually just keep fighting the weak guys until you unlock better cards, then get the sweet satisfaction of crushing him. All without having to spend $4-$5 on the chance you'll maybe get a rare card you need. 

This is also why I played Yu-Gi-Oh on the GBC, and am currently addicted to Magic 2012 on the Xbox 360/PS3, but I digress.

But he didn't have to buy it, and that's what matters. 

Pokemon Trading Card Game (yes, that's the title, no colon or dash or anything) is exactly what it says it is: its the Pokemon trading card game that was all the rage in the late 90s/early 2000s. If you are unfamiliar with it you might just think this game is Magic: The Gathering, but it's actually its own beast (or pocket monster, right guys? Guys?). You draw creature cards (aka Pokemon cards), energy cards (aka mana or lands for the Magic: The Gathering crowd) and abilities (like spells or traps in Yu-Gi-Oh). Unlike Magic, however, where you tap from a pool, Pokemon's emphasis is on (not surprisingly) the Pokemon themselves. Instead of assigning mana to an overal group, you attach it to your pokemon (you get a team of six, as usual). You can also evolve your pokemon or use items to swap them in and out. Pokemon battle one at a time (again, like the actual game) until you've fainted six of your enemies, and then you win. It's essentially like Magic: The Gathering light, since the items are all free (don't cost energy), and you put energy directly on the pokemon themselves. Still, like the real game there's strategy to be had here (as well as the usual weaknesses), and while it isn't the best TCG, it's certainly a competent one.

For some reason, the main character reminds me of somebody from a Dragon Quest game. 

The plot is simple: you are on Trading Card Game Island (really. That's the name of the place. I'm not making this up). Here they have multiple Clubs (not gyms!), each devoted to a specific type of pokemon. You basically go and boss-battle your way through these idiots, getting more cards and building a better and better deck. After a while you get to fight the Grand Masters (not the Elite Four! Even though there are four Grand Masters!) and then the Champion (not the Champ - wait.). And then you are free to go fight against them again with upgraded cards until you own every card in the world and are KING OF THE PLAYGROUND HA HA HA.

I WILL RULE TRADING CARD GAME ISLAND WITH AN IRON FIST

It's a pretty shallow premise, but if you think about the actual Pokemon games they don't have much depth either. What's somewhat disappointing is that all you do is battle cards. There's no exploration, no feeling like you are on a quest, nothing. And while I'm all for stripping down the crap (see my hate-filled reviews of Ruby and Diamond generations with their awful pokemon dance parties and whatnot) it seems like they went too far.

They also didn't include any cards from Gold/Silver, which is too bad. I know Gold/Silver wasn't out for another four months, but then maybe you should have waited since everybody who bought this game felt dumb because they were missing both 1. New pokemon and 2. The two new element types (dark and steel). Thanks, Nintendo.

"It's time to duel!" Wait...wrong franchise. 

So...is the game fun? Well, if you like the card game then...sort of? I think the card game is fine, except the part where I have to buy cards and find someone to play with me (especially now that I'm 26 and all old), so hey...sign me up for Pokemon Trading Card Game the game! The "sort of" comes from two key things: the graphics are fugly (look up at that! It's like a giant brown turd!) and the UI itself is weak. They couldn't have like...put cards in front of you? They just show whichever one is battling, hiding the rest of your team. I guess that works because it's more like the real Pokemon games, but if you are going to alter your UI so it shows these giant images of the Pokemon, why the crap would you use such ugly ones? And what was wrong with the pictures from the original games? Those at least looked good!

Oh look, secret plot. 

The graphics outside of battle are ok. They look decent on the Game Boy Color, but this is no Pokemon Gold/Silver. It's clear they only put the minimal amount of effort into these things. The music is also just ok, lacking any real Pokemon flare but still being ok background noise.

Fat Pikachu returns. And wtf...GNAW? Gnaw isn't a Pokemon move!

So...my final thoughts. Well...if you like the Pokemon card game, this is really your own choice for a game version. A sequel came out in Japan, but I guess we were already over it so it didn't make it over here. As it stands it's an ok game, successfully emulating the card game, and the progression system is nice. But on the flip side it's ugly, simple, and not particularly enthralling if you don't like card games.

So it really boils down to this question: Do you like trading card games? And specifically, do you like the Pokemon card game? If so, pack your bags for Trading Card Game Island, because we've got a vacation for you. If not, don't bother.

I think the Pokemon card game is alright (though I haven't played it in probably a decade), and I like Pokemon a lot anyway, so we'll give this a two out of five for me. As a representation of a card game it's ok, but it could (and should) have been way better. If you like Magic but are on the fence, feel free to knock a star off. If you hate Pokemon, card games, or both, just take all the stars away and toss them aside. This isn't for you. 

Trading Card Game Island...good grief. And I thought some of the pokemon's names were dumb.