WarioWare: Twisted!

The Short

Pros
- Same WarioWare concept, only now with more twisting!
- Specifically, twisting the GBA with the gyroscope included on the cart takes the place of the D-pad commands
- Another 200+ minigames that vary from "awesome" to "dumb"
- Same silliness in terms of story, progression, and gameplay
- Unlocks are easier and funner to acquire
- Adheres to the same strong formula set up in Mega Microgame$

Cons
- Some of the minigames seem virtually identical
- A few require some intense twisting that make it hard to see the screen
- Entire structure of the game is exactly the same; the only real innovation is twisting
- Some you feel would control better with a D-Pad rather than twisting

Warioware is back and weirder than ever. 

The Long

It doesn't take much to make a successful WarioWare game. Ok, it does take a lot of new microgames, but at its core WarioWare is fun when you have all the game unlocked and you blast through a random mix of them trying to see how far you can get. After a not-so-successful Gamecube offering, Nintendo returned the series to its GBA roots...with a TWIST! Rather than just serve the same game in new packaging, they added a big fat motion sensor (which also rumbles) to the bottom of the cart and made it so you twist your Game Boy Advance. Best idea ever, or stupid gimmick?

Well, it's a bit of both, but the point is that this is still an extremely fun WarioWare game, and could honestly be considered the best in the series. 

Twist the GBA to shave the dude!

There isn't much to be said about the basic gameplay that hasn't already been said in my Mega Microgame$ review. You blast through minigames that last around 5-15 seconds, quickly learning the mechanic only to be thrown into another one. The difficulty and speed ramp up the more you play, until eventually you screw up four times and that's it. It's a fun rush (especially since there are so many games and they are all weird) and perfect for someone who wants constant change and gratification.

So the main "hook" from Twisted is the twisting: the motion control on the bottom of the cart. Basically it only senses you tilting it left and right (it isn't a true gyroscope like one that's in the iPhones) and, while not particularly accurate for menu navigation, does well enough in minigames that require minimum precision. 

Not great for menu navigation, great for minigames. 

Essentially, Twisted just replaces all d-pad movements (left and right) with twisting, as the d-pad is completely unused in this game (including the menus). The minigames have been slightly adapted to better fit this (most are slightly easier, but that becomes moot when you play on the third level of difficulty) and the game really gets crazy when you have to twist and press A at the same time. It's a good way to mix up what they already did, even if it isn't that dramatic an improvement.

So how does it play? I've been a bit lukewarm in my review so far, but I can say that this game absolutely invokes the same frantic, addicting formula that Mega Microgame$ has. If anything, twisting only makes the game trickier, as you have to quickly physically move the game boy for the fastest, craziest games which makes it much harder. The minigames are well adapted for the mechanic and scale very well, the story mode teaching you all the mechanics before tossing you into some hard ones. 

Twist to block!

The only complain I might have is they are a bit too easy, at least compared to Mega Microgame$. Most are considerably simpler on the first run, probably to accommodate for the floaty twisting controls. Honestly, I'm fine with this, as the twisting adds enough of a difficult spin (pun intended) to make it still seem fresh and challenging, but I can't help but think as I'm playing these games how much easier they'd be if they just let me use the directional buttons.

All that aside, this game plays fantastic. The motion sensor rarely screws up (if ever, and only in the menus) and despite it being an obvious gimmick it fits the playstyle of WarioWare perfectly. So, in that regard, total success from Nintendo taking something they already had and putting a new spin (pun also intended) on it. 

Avoid the bird poo!

Graphically the game is pretty much the same as its predecessor. It doesn't quite seem to have the same weirdness of the first game (it's a bit more self-aware this time around) which loses a bit of the charm, but as a whole it works. I particularly like the 8-bit NES levels that are warped to work around the twisted mechanic. 

The sound is also fantastic, though it recycles most of the sound effects from the first game. Again, if it ain't broke don't fix it, but it does all seem a bit familiar.

WARIOMAN!

All in all, WarioWare: Twisted! is an excellent evolution of an already great formula. While it isn't quite the breath of fresh air that the first game was, it does well enough with it's fun twisting and silly microgames to merit a look if you enjoyed the first game. Fun, silly, and challenging with a TWIST?!, Twisted is absolutely worth any GBA owner's time. 

Four out of five stars. 

Still better than NES Golf. 

WarioWare Inc.: Mega Microgame$!

The Short

Pros
- Tons (200+) of short, fast paced micro games
- Game is addicting, quick, and perfect for short or long play sessions
- Only uses the control pad and one button. That's simplicity!
- Music and graphics are charming, with some games taking nods from old NES classics
- Insane number of unlockables, including a full version of Dr. Mario
- Story is absurd but fun, and the characters are charming
- Seriously, there's a nose picking minigame. How can this not be great?

Cons
- Some of the microgames are duds
- Being unable to skip story sequences for the first viewing was an oversight
- No way to compare high scores online/between systems
- Eventually you run out of games

In-game advertising at its finest

The Long

WarioWare Inc.: Mega Microgame$! is a game idea that I'm honestly surprised nobody has thought up before. Essentially a minigame (or "microgame") collection, WarioWare sounds like a simple, basic idea that would bore someone quickly. I mean, sure there's like a two-hundred games on here, but most of them usually only involve one button and all of the last no longer than ten seconds. How can this sort of ADHD game design work?

Well, it does. And WarioWare's absolutely brilliant blend of weirdness, speedy gameplay, and fantastic minigames makes it one of the best games ever released on the Game Boy Advance. And, truth be told, it could very well be my most favorite game on the system. 

Don't get stomped. Simple enough, right? 

The plot is hilariously self-aware. Wario, who is tired of being shoved to the side by Nintendo (despite having the honor of having the best Virtual Boy game as well as some great puzzle and platforming games along the way) decides to make his own game in order to rake in the cash. The problem is he isn't very good at making games that are very long, so he goes for a "quantity over quality" approach. Hence, the microgame.

The "story" follows between Wario and a cast of friends that (as far as I know) were invented solely for this franchies. Each has their own theme of minigames to grow accustomed to, and once you figure out their specific style you move on to the next one. My absolute favorite is the retro gaming kid, whose minigames are usually just segments cut straight from classes NES games, sometimes with Wario inserted for no reason. Absolutely hysterical. 

Nintendo: Drawing on their rich history for Wario's fun and profit. 

So what do you do in WarioWare? It's actually a very simple concept: you have four lives (or chances to fail, rather), and the game blasts you through a boatload of microgames. Some are simply timing a button press. Others require a bit of movement. And some require both movement and a button press. Yeah, advanced tactics here.

Each game is no longer than ten seconds, some shorter. A bomb at the bottom of the screen counts down, meaning you have to learn what to do in the games very quickly and then accomplish it at breakneck speed. Which, on the final stages, can mean even a fraction of a second's hesitation can ruin you. 

Shoot the duck!

As you continue the speed ramps up and up until you fight a "boss" stage. These are usually longer than the usual stage (sometimes reaching 30+ seconds) and are a bit more challenging. Beat them and you recover one life, the difficulty for all the minigames goes up a notch, and you are at it again. There are three levels of difficulty and who knows how many levels of speed (once you max out difficulty it just keeps getting faster and faster until you lose), turning it into a frantic, insane dash. 

The game works because of its brilliant blend of silly, nostalgic, and absurd all wrapped up with solid and addicting gameplay. Each microgame is so fast and instantly rewarding that failing out completely only makes you want to load it up again. High scores are saved and special unlocks are rewarded when you do particularly great. Unfortunately, there is no real way to share these scores unless you have a friend locally to show off with, but such is the days before the internet. Or WiFi, at least. 

Shake!

Eventually you'll get through all of Wario's friends, and this is where I think the best part of the game unlocks: the towers. Basically there are three infinite runs that cycle through all the minigames you've unlocked (you unlock them by playing and beating them across the various characters) but each has special parameters. None have bosses or the ability to recover lives. 

One starts you at the easiest speed and level, and slowly ramps up. Another stays on the easiest level but on max speed, making it absolutely frantic. And my favorite, the most difficult, puts it on the hardest difficulty, one life, and with the ability for the game to speed up. It's extremely taxing but quite rewarding when you beat your high scores. I probably sunk hours into these three levels alone, if only because they are such a fast-paced, intense rush.

You'll have most of the games memorized, but that won't mean you've mastered them. 

The game also has a plethora of unlocks, including full versions of Dr. Mario and a few other NES classes (though in this case it's "Dr. Wario."). There's also a ton of minigames that you can unlock that are specific to WarioWare, and while most are just throwaway jokes, several are quite addicting.

Graphically this game is delightful. Every game looks distinct and unique, whether it's using imported photographs, altering 8-bit NES games to put Wario in them, or simply having a style unto itself. You'd think it wouldn't mesh (with some anime themes going alongside a minigame where you have to catch a cat when it's blinking), but somehow the bizarreness fuses into a cohesive whole. I have no idea how it works, but it's brilliant.

The music and sounds are also frantic and appropriate, with some actual voice work for Wario and his friends. It all sounds GBA tinny (and I swear I don't know what they are saying half the time because of it), but whatever...it doesn't hurt the presentation.

I love how bizarre this game is. 

WarioWare Inc.: Mega Microgame$! is awesome. For someone as ADD as myself, this is like the perfect game for me. Constantly moving, constantly changing, constantly challenging. Others will also enjoy it's frantic, breakneck pace mixed with the silliness of Wario's game choices. It is one of the few games I ever took the time to 100% (and believe me, that took a while) and, even with my extensive GBA library, is probably the game I sunk the most time into (with Final Fantasy VI Advance and Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow pulling in close).

Considering the game is currently available on the eShop for some price I couldn't bother to look up ($10 probably, or $5), I'd say if you have a 3DS you should absolutely go buy it right now. If you sport the DS Lite or GBA SP (like I do), then carts are pretty cheap too. It's addicting, fast, and fun. It also started a whole franchise (that, unfortunately, most installments don't live up to the original) of silly games, so it's got that going for it too.

An absolute blast, just don't expect to have time to catch your breath. Five out of five stars.

That cucumber still freaks me out. 

P.O.W.: Prisoners of War

The Short

Pros
- Fun beat-em-up that reminds me a little too much like Double Dragon
- Awesome graphics, especially the backgrounds
- Has the ability to punch backwards, which helps when you get surrounded
- Pick up powerups, weapons, and more

Cons
- No two player option like the arcade version
- Second level is obscenely difficult
- Only four levels in total
- Lose all your power-ups on death
- Only two lives per run
- Music is catchy but gets grating

This game was my childhood. 

The Long

It's weird to compare games people played as kids with each other. While most were weened on the beat-em-up styles of Double Dragon or Battletoads, the game my friend owned was this one: P.O.W.: Prisoners of War. It's strage, as I've judged every other beat-em-up since (whether consciously of subconsciously against this original standard, without having touched the game in nearly two decades.

Well, in a recent slew of retro game acquisitions I managed to grab a copy of P.O.W., so twenty odd years later I was able to pop in this cart and see if the game really lived up to my nostalgia. Does it? Well, I know one thing for sure: I've had the stage two music stuck in my head for two decades and I just now realized where it was from!

This song isn't even that good. I don't get it. 

Anyway, P.O.W. is an arcade port of a game SNK made of the same name. I find it ironic they kept the subtitle "Prisoners of War," seeing as this game is not a two player game, despite what the box art would indicate. You play as Bert (yeah, that's seriously his name) as he busts out of a prison camp and punches and kicks dudes to victory. Pretty standard beat-em-up fare. 

Dragon kick!

The game itself is pretty standard as well. You have a button for punching (which is fast) and a button for kicking (which is slower), and pressing both does a pretty useless air kick. Probably the best feature this game has over others is a back punch; if a guy is behind you and you press back and the punch button, you'll stay facing but do the most badass looking backhand smack behind you for a hefty amount of damage. Considering one of the biggest threats in games like Double Dragon is getting surrounded, this back punch is a really good way to help ease a bit of that pain. 

As you kick and punch your way through guys you have the option of sneaking into the back of buildings or trucks (kind of like Metal Gear) in search of items. There's only really two: brass knuckles that increase your attack, and a vest that makes you immune to thrown knives. You can also pick up enemy weapons like knives (which he tosses rather than keeps for some stupid reason) and an M16 with limited ammo. The M16 can be both good and bad: it destroys bosses, but makes your melee hit awful.

Knife, meet fist. 

Most people will breeze through the first level assuming they aren't six years old, but most everybody will get stuck on the second level. All powerups disappear when you die, and you only have two lives (you get another every 20,000 points). The first level is a good mix of fairness and difficulty (enemies are never overwhelming), but in level two things get stupid. You have motorcycles that you have to time your jump kicks perfectly with or you lose half your health. You have scuba guys who pop out of the water and require split-second reactions. And you have guys with guns everywhere that don't drop the guns, which is frustrating in and of itself.

Like most NES SNK games, P.O.W. looks pretty good. 

Another minor issue I had was the screen scrolling. It just...doesn't do it when you need it to. You have to be way too close to the right side of the screen for it to finally scroll, meaning enemies will pop out and cause some cheap hits. If you have fast enough reflexes it won't be an issue, but it is annoying. 

These aside, I really enjoyed playing P.O.W., even now. I'm somewhat jaded against this genre as a whole (it is essentially mindless tedium with difficulty designed to swallow quarters), but P.O.W. did what the best in the genre do: made me feel empowered. Kill dudes feels good, kicking them off the screen and outmaneuvering squads of guys with knives. It's challenging, but the controls are tight and the action solid. It's just a huge pity this is a single-player game, because co-op would have made it a classic. 

These bikers are still the absolute worst. 

Graphically, P.O.W. looks quite good. The sprites are big and well detailed, and the backgrounds are especially gorgeous. There's often colorful mountains with clouds behind, or lush palm trees with blue skies above. Really, this is a very pretty NES game, and certainly pushes the limitations of the system in terms of art design.

The music is a mixed bag. As mentioned the stage two song was stuck in my head, but relistening they tend to loop much sooner than you'd hope. The songs are all decent, but hardly anything you'll be putting on your iPod. Still, it's better than awful noise, which means it's still head and shoulders above most NES games. 

Gonna get all Rambo on this dude. 

So does P.O.W. hold up? Well, I'm still frustrated I can't beat stage two very easily (something that's hindered me my whole life up to this point), and the game really is just another Double Dragon clone, but despite all that I really think P.O.W. is pretty awesome. It's fun, looks great, and is a good time waster if you are into beat-em-ups. It's just a real pity it isn't two player. 

Still, you can grab it for about $5 or less, so if you see it in your local store I'd say give it a shot. For me, this game is so rich with nostalgia it's hard to present it unbiased. The opening scene where he blows a hole in the wall of his cell is one of my first gaming memories. And the fact it's held up really makes me happy.

It's flawed and perhaps derivative, but it certainly still is fun. Three out of five stars. 

And yeah, this is the game that started this meme, so it's got that going for it.

Karate Champ

The Short

Pros
- One of the first two player fighting games
- I like the judge's stoic frown

Cons
- Controls are awful
- Sound effects are bland (though I do like the tinny voices)
- Almost impossible to know what you are doing
- Graphics look awful, even for an early NES game

Atop the cliff, the warriors prepared themselves. 

The Long

Karate Champ is a trap. That's really all it is. You go to the retro game store and think "I remember that one game...Kung Fu or something? That game was ok, right?" Then you see Karate Champ sitting there for something like $2 and say to yourself "Hey, it's only $2! For karate! I like karate! I like The Karate Kid! Mr. Miyagi is the bomb! I bet this game at least has some karate in it!" 

Wait, this didn't happen to any of you? Me either. Because luckily I remembered, dear reader. I remembered. And replaying this game has only confirmed my memory: Karate Champ is like a karate kick to the face. Except the kick is coming from your Nintendo, and your face is...well, it's your face.

What is this, Castlevania? Is the red guy Dracula? Do I get to punch Dracula? Where my meds be at?

Karate Champ is a one-on-one fighting game, like Street Fighter II. 

Hold on a second, I can't believe I just made that comparison. Let me try again.

Karate Champ is a one-on-one fighting game, like Shaq-Fu. You face off either against a computer opponent or a friend you wish to quickly make an enemy in a karate battle royale. As you progress you traverse to different worlds and areas, the fighters never changing and the dude watching never smiling. It's how I'd imagine hell would be like, or maybe a really crappy reimagining of Eat, Pray, Love, only instead of food it's karate. Actually, that might make the movie better.

Expect to see this a lot, because red is a bastard. 

All the fights are exactly the same, locations just change. All fighters are the same and control the same. The computer's AI never really changes based on my experience as you progress, so there really isn't a difficulty curve. Not that I'd know, because for the life of me I still can't figure out exactly how this game controls.

You have a button for kick and a button for punch. Ducking or pressing up and these buttons sometimes does stuff, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes my guy kicks behind him when there is a person in front of him. Sometimes he turns his back and won't turn around again. Does he have reason or purpose for any of this? I dunno, he's just a bunch of 1s and 0s. But I'm pretty sure he's the dumbest collection of 1s and 0s I've met in recent memory, and I just played a Dynowarz marathon. 

Dinosaurs would make this game better, though. 

Aside from the completely impossible controls (though I did manage to win by just mashing them over and over in a similar pattern), the game looks hideous. The kicks and punches (with the exception of the screenshot above) look cheap and bland. Animation is nonexistent; you get about one frame per attack. The characters are flat and look like paper cut-outs in front of the backgrounds that at least employ some depth. And the frowning guy...he is never happy. Ever. 

Sound effects are bland. There's no music, just the sounds of them huffing. I'll admit it's ok, but...no, it isn't. It sounds awful. The grunts sound like two dogs trying to get it on. I'm sorry for that mental image.

How is he standing on something that's obviously far away? Who designed this crap?

Data East: you've done better. Not much better, but you've done a little better, I know it. But this...this game is miserable. It's just a miserable ball of misery. Karate Champ will remind you nothing of whatever memories you might have of karate that are positive. I dunno, I was more a Tae-Kwon-Do guy myself, to be honest.

Anyway, if you see this game in a store, PLEASE remember this review. Even if it's a doller, that's a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger you could have gotten. And I don't even like Wendy's. 

Zero out of five stars. 

Though you could karate chop the cart in half. That would be badass. First person to do it and send me a video gets a prize!

Mega Man X

The Short

Pros
- Perfect evolution of the Mega Man formula from the NES
- New additions dashing and wall jumping add a whole new level to the series
- Stages are a perfect blend of difficulty and reward
- Replaying stages to find secrets is an absolute blast, especially since the stages are dynamic based on who you've defeated
- Controls just like the NES Mega Man games, which is to say...perfectly
- Absolutely incredible soundtrack
- Gorgeous graphics
- One of the finest platformers I'e ever played

Cons
- Stages can be a bit easy and short, while the final fortress is a massive jump in challenge
- Story is sort of non-existant
- Sigma's fortress can be a bit unfair at times
- What the heck is a "Kuwanger?"

Mega Man's back, baby! 

The Long

I have a very embarrassing confession. Despite my oft-proclaimed love for the Mega Man series, I never actually played a single Mega Man X game until only a few months ago. While I'd blitzed through all the Mega Man NES games and even the GBA Zero series, for some reason I'd avoided the Mega Man X bunch. Maybe it's because the later games looked so...weird that I avoided the whole batch all together.

I am an absolute idiot for that. 

You should listen to this during the review.

Mega Man X is a rare game. One that, all these years later, even a newcomer such as myself can only stand back in awe and sort of bask in its glory. As far as platformers go, it's one of the finest I've ever played in my entire life. As a gaming experience, it's almost transcendental. 

But enough of my flowery soliloquies and blanket statements, let's explain why Mega Man X is downright phenomenal and the very best Capcom could have done to bring it's beloved series to the 16-bit era.

Dr. Light's dead, long live Dr. Light. 

The story for Mega Man X might be it's only real weakness. Capcom made a big deal about it when developing the game and promoting it back in the day, saying they were "rebooting" the franchise with a heavier emphasis on story. In a sense, sure, there's a little more story here than the regular Mega Man games (which tend to just have an intro movie and...that's it), but in reality it still is hardly anything substantial.

Mega Man X takes place several hundred years after Mega Man 6. Dr. Light has long since passed away, and Dr. Wily isn't even mentioned. Light's final and greatest creation, X, has been revived because a new baddie, Sigma, hasa awoken and created several robot mavericks (aka Robot Masters) to cause trouble. X and his new ally Zero have to stop Sigma by sucking up the powers of the mavericks, yada yada yada.

There is maybe one or two cutscenes that deal with the idea that Light wanted X to be a friendly robot with the freedom to choose a peaceful path (though if he really did that I don't know why Dr. Light put a freaking GUN ON HIS ARM), but it doesn't get any deeper than that. Minus a few in-game scenes there is little to no plot, and the story seems just tacked on. It's nice it's there, but in truth it adds a minimal amount. 

Luckily, Mega Man X don't need no story to rock!

The core gameplay of Mega Man X is extremely similar to the NES Mega Man games, and anyone familiar with them will be able to jump right in and feel right at home. X moves at a very similar clip as Rock did, all the way down to jumping, fire rate, and charge time. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. But Mega Man X does mix things up in two very crucial ways: wall jumping and dashing.

Wall jumping is something you unlock from the start, and it completely changes the way the game is played. Rather than simply jumping and shooting, X can traverse walls and do tricky jumps by clinging and sliding off walls (as well as jump off them). This allows more levels to have trickier jumps, having more vertical-based stages that rely on climbing, and completely changes strategies for end level bosses. Being able to leap up boss walls like a monkey adds a whole slew of new strategies. 

The second ability, dashing, is also a rather dramatic change. Unlike wall-jumping you unlock it in a stage (though everybody does that particular stage first because it's the easiest boss anyway), and it in turn allows for a bunch of new changes. Dashing increases distance of jumps, can be executed any time you are on the ground (it's a short burst, not a prolonged run), and is necessary for many tricky leaps of faith. The only downside is that, since you have to get it, no stages actually require it until you get to the final Sigma stages, which feels like a slightly wasted effort. 

Plus you ride a giant punching robot suit. AMAZING. 

The stages are also different from the original Mega Man. In Mega Man, each level was broken up between sets of screens, each providing a unique but brief challenge before it would pan to the next one. This was obviously a design choice and not a hardware limitation (or so I'd think; games like Mario 2 had massive scrolling worlds), but it made the series unique. Mega Man X chucks this for a more traditional style of level: a long, streaming world to explore and backtrack. It does feel a bit weird at first, but it still has the boss doors (and you can still jump through them) so it's forgivable.

The expanded real estate also allows for yet another great improvement: replaying stages with new powerups to find secrets. As you progress, the powerups you get from bosses (and find in the world) allow access to new areas you might have missed before. Mega Man on the NES (specifically 2) did this (use Crash Bombs to get secrets) but it didn't allow you to replay it, and that wasn't part of the core experience regardless. In Mega Man X, replaying stages is almost completely necessary, as there are a plethora of secrets to find. This would be tedious in any other game, but Mega Man X plays so smoothly and the controls are so incredibly responsive it's an absolute joy to replay levels. Plus, you're all powered up, so you can stomp everything with your new weapons. 

Burn, baby, burn. 

I'm going to take a second to gush about something that's hard to express in words, and that's how incredibly good this game feels to control. Again, that's really something you can't describe but have to experience, but when a game gets it right the experience becomes so much more enjoyable. Mega Man X is probably the best controlling game I've ever played, hands down. It's so incredibly responsive, I never felt like I died or failed on a jump because of the game's fault. Jumping and falling all feel exactly how they should, momentum from your dash perfectly translating into far jumps, and wall slides are easy to master and darn satisfying when you do a tricky leap from one tiny spot to another. It's a Super Meat Boy kind of feeling, except perhaps even more so. After just a few minutes of playing I knew I was gonna love this game based on feel alone.

He's just mad 'cause he looks like a purple Boba Fett. 

The formula here is a standard one: burn through the game, kill mavericks, get their powers to kill other mavericks, replay levels to get secrets, face the final fortress. If there's anything I can complain about it's that the stages themselves (for the mavericks) aren't nearly as difficult as the ones found in the NES Mega Man games (Mega Man 2 excluded), and seem to have a weird variance in length. Some are super short, while the underwater stage feels like it drags on and on. Overall, however, they feel a lot shorter, which makes sense since they were designed to be replayed.

All this changes when you get to Sigma's fortress, which completely beats the everloving crap out of you. If you don't know the secret to charged Armored Armadillo's power, you are going to get very frustrated. Extremely hard wall jumps, plethoras of respawning enemies, and long checkpoints make it genuinely stressful to beat. However, it never reaches a point where I felt it was unfair, just challenging. Plus, if you've spent the time to prepare and find all the secrets, you'll feel vindicated as you plow through it without having to worry too much. It's several stages up in difficulty when compared to the rest of the game, sure, but the fortress is a good finisher for those wanting an old-school Mega Man challenge. 

In the year 200X, Dr. Wily created eight...hey, wait!

Graphically, Mega Man X is beautiful. It pushes the SNES to its limits with excellently designed enemies, stunning environments, and awesome effects. It does stutter a bit with framerate drops on some stages (specifically when riding the mine carts), but when it matters the game is smooth and looks absolutely incredible.

The sound design is also phenomenal, with punchy sound effects that really make you feel like you are making an impact with your mega buster. But the show-stealer is easily the fantastic soundtrack. It's just straight up insane how good this soundtrack is, rivaling anything released on the NES (even the show-stopping Mega Man 2 and Mega Man 3's soundtracks). If I had any complaint it's that it is heavy on the midi-synth electric guitar (a sound I always felt the Genesis did better than the SNES), but that's really a very minor complaint for what is easily one of the best soundtracks on the system.

We're talking "Squaresoft" levels of music, here. 

As I said at the beginning, I can't believe I waited this long before finally picking up a cart of Mega Man X and giving it a spin. While it almost hurts me to say this, I really think it completely outshines the NES Mega Man games in nearly every aspect. While those games are still mind-blowingly incredible, Mega Man X is an evolution of that framework that does everything right. From the perfect controls, the satisfying levels, the gorgeous graphics and phenomenal music, Mega Man X is downright masterful. 

This is easily one of the finest platformers ever made, perhaps even the best. I'll be honest: writing this review right now I'm having difficulty thinking of one I would consider better. So, considering you can get this game at a decent price of around $20 for an SNES cart, or at the absolutely absurd price of $10 on the Wii's Virtual Console, if you are any fan of the 2D platforming genre you need to get this game.

It'll mega bust(er) its way into your heart. Yeah...I don't know what that means either.

Five out of five stars. 

"HADOKEN!"

Mega Man 2: The Power Fighters

The Short

Pros
- Fight through another batch of robot masters in a boss rush mode
- Wider arrange of masters mixed up better across multiple games
- Improved HUD and UI
- Masters actually get unique stages this time around, which is appreciated
- Enemies also get more advanced movesets when you knock down their heath, increasing the challenge
- New playable character Duo.
- Lets you actually pick the order rather than some pseudo-random thing from the first game
- Still playable co-op

Cons
- While a bit harder than the first game, it's still too easy
- Duo is stupid. Just...in general.
- Again, music doesn't match the stages
- Also again, I find Capcom's taste in robot masters questionable, as is some of their 32-bit redesigns
- Can beat the whole game in under 45 minutes

Bubble Man, your redesign is awful. 

The Long

I liked Mega Man: The Power Battles, despite giving it a low score. I mean, sure, it was a really easy game and didn't properly execute on it's awesome premise, but it's still a fun co-op romp. When I heard they made a second one (which, if I remember correctly, never made it to American arcades), I was excited to see what they'd changed between games. Maybe it would have X in it? Maybe it would actually be hard? Maybe they'd pick less stupid robot masters?

Well...Mega Man 2: The Power Fighters (great title, BTW. That was sarcasm.) is certainly a sequel, and it's certainly at least a little better than the original, but to be honest it still makes all the same mistakes. 

Those are totally the SNES sprites. 

First off let's go over the differences between this and the first Power Battles. Most everything is actually the same with a few minor nuances. Duo, that space...police...guy whose name doesn't have anything to do with music is now playable. He's bigger and slower and does more damage but has less range. Basically he sucks because he's a stupid character and besides...whenever you pick Protoman it plays his little whistle theme at the start of every battle. Why would you pick anybody else?!

Another key difference is the three scenarios. Rather than segregating the games into their own clusters, they just mix 'em all together across three unique campaigns. You can search for Wily, rescue Roll (seriously? Does she do anything useful?), or...search for parts. Um...yeah. Parts, Dr. Light? When all this other stuff is going on? Ok...

I'm just saying, the first two should probably take priority. 

Anyway, it's still just Mega Man 1-7 (no 8 here) across these missions, but at least they are all mixed up. You have a lot of recycled robot masters from the first game, but they also mixed in a few new ones this time around...and most are stupid ones. Centaur Man? Gyro Man? Bubble Man? At least we finally get Air Man up in here (aka the best robot master), but still, I find their taste in robot masters lacking. At least we didn't have Hard Man, and Pharaoh Man is finally in here. 

Heat Man...where you always that short?

There are a few other minor changes. The game lets you pick the order manually this time, while in the first one it just sort of randomly shuffled them. This actually makes the game easier if you know the boss order (or can guess, based on previous Mega Man experiences) because whenever you hit somebody with their weakness in this game it does an overblown attack animation letting you know that, yep, you got the right powerup. Game's about to get easy. 

Luckily they (sort of) compensate for this by having the difficulty continue as it moves on at a more dramatic climb than the first game. Robot Masters also have "desperation" attacks, meaning when their health drops below half they get a more powerful, more obnoxious batch of attacks that you have to work with. While not accurate to the original games, it certainly is a much appreciated increase in challenge.

More like Cen-tard man. 

The game looks decent, though some of the arcade redesigns look a bit dumb. Again, they recycled a lot of content from the first game but it looked fine to begin with so I'm not complaining. The new HUD is a bit better with an actual health bar and a cleaner interface, which is appreciated, and the backgrounds tend to be more exciting, colorful, and fit the characters you are fighting better. 

The music is also recycled with a few new remixes. They still couldn't bother to actually match the robot master with his song, but whatever...I'm past that at this point. 

Heat Man still looks like a tiny Zippo. 

I'll give Mega Man 2: The Power Fighters this: it's a bit more challenging, a slight improvement over the original, and still boasts fun two-player co-op. Aside from that, it's a very minor upgrade from the first game, so much so that I have a hard time discerning screenshots. The game is still way too easy, feels a bit unbalanced (in your favor), and only has a limited roster. As a sequel that should have offered substantial improvements over the original, this one just feels like a few minor upgrades.

I guess this is where I should insert a "Capcom Fighting Games Charging $60 For Next To No Upgrades" joke, but I'm tired and since I just explained it I guess that covers it...

As it stands, Power Fighters is technically better than Power Battles, but only by a small margin. However, the improved backgrounds, a better mix of robot masters, and overall minor improvements make it the arcade Mega Man fighting game to play, if you were in the market for one to begin with.

Three out of five. The game is also available on the Mega Man Anniversary Collection along with its predecessor, which is currently the only way to play this game in the US.

Duo is still stupid, though. 

Mega Man: The Power Battles

The Short

Pros
- Fun, arcade "boss rush" across robot masters and minibosses
- Covers bosses from Mega Man to Mega Man 7
- Three different batches of masters give you three different paths
- Can be played co-op as Mega Man, Protoman, or Bass
- Uses sprites from Mega Man 7 and looks pretty good

Cons
- Extremely easy...though for an arcade game this might be a plus
- Robot masters between different scenarios don't really change much
- Remixed music is nice but doesn't match the master you are fighting
- Mega Buster can wipe nearly everybody out. No weakness required.
- What should have been a hard challenge is more of a cakewalk
- They seriously picked some of the stupidest robot masters for this.

Ice Man...robot, or dude in a parka? The world may never know...

The Long

It's no surprise that I love the Mega Man games. The NES games provide a fantastic mix of difficult platforming, challenging bosses that each require unique strategy, and great graphics and music. But easily one of the most memorable parts of the game are the robot masters. Since a staple of Mega Man is killing people and taking their powers, knowing what weapon to use against who can help make near-impossible boss fights manageable, and you get a good deal of satisfaction by taking a guy down with his weakness.

So imagine, if you will, if you made a whole game just just forgoes the actual stages and skips you straight to the boss battles, a sort of "Mega Man Boss Rush" if you will. Sounds awesome, right? Yeah, I'd think so too. That, in a nutshell, is the idea behind Mega Man: The Power Battles, an arcade game that you can unlock as a bonus on the Mega Man Anniversary Collection on Gamecube and PS2. If you see this game in an arcade, is it worth punching a few quarters into and taking it for a spin?

Well, yes, but not for the reasons you might think. Read on! 

Wood Man has never looked dorkier. 

Again, the idea of a "boss rush" Mega Man experience sounds fantastic on paper. Take all the extreme challenge of boss fights from across Mega Man 1-7 and mix and match them in a "best of" experience...sounds awesome!

The setup is also pretty cool too. From the beginning you have have three options to start with, each associated with a certain collection of games' bossses. You can pick from a Mega Man 1-2 set, a Mega Man 3-6 set, or one that's just from Mega Man 7 (no Spring Man, though, so it's ok). This adds a bit of replayability so you'll see a fresh set of faces everytime you play...at least three times. 

Add to that the ability to pick three somewhat unique characters (Mega Man, Protoman, and Bass) and you have a lot of variability here. Everything seems set up to be an awesome, challenging boss rush experience.

The problem with Mega Man: The Power Battles appears after you actually start playing.

"Wax on, wax off."

This game is really, really easy. As in shamefully so. I think there's a reason the machines didn't take off in the states: they probably didn't make any money off of them. Anyone who has played any of the NES Mega Man games will easily cakewalk through this whole game, even without knowing the robot masters' weaknesses. The Mega Buster is absurdly overpowered when fully charged, both doing massive amounts of damage and knocking enemies out of their attack cycles. And while the masters get more life and deal more damage the further along you get, anybody with a remote understanding of the "slide" ability can easily get through most without taking any hits.

It isn't all bad. Each robot master faithfully follows their moveset from their respective games, and it's kind of cool to see them all in their arcade graphics glory using their signature abilities. I do have issue with some of the robots they picked. I'm guessing either I have awful taste in robot masters or Japan (or Capcom) likes different ones. Masters like Guts Man and Wood Man are fine, but why is Plant Man or freaking DUST MAN in this game? You seriously picked Dust Man over Pharaoh Man? Come on!

Even the infamous Yellow Devil isn't very hard. 

Another issue is there really isn't that much difference between the three different sets of masters (or characters, for that matter). Wood Man gives essentially the same power as Plant Man, who gives the same power as Junk Man. Luckily they fight you in a unique fashion, but the weapons gathered are all generally the same, which makes replays done in quick succession a bit repetitive.

The entire game can be played co-op, which is absolutely the best way to play it. While it makes an already easy game laughably simple, when were you last able to play with a friend as Mega Man and Protoman, side by side? Never, that's when! It's a lot of fun, if only they'd bothered making the game an actual challenge.

Cuttin' stuff with your head. 

Graphically the game looks good. the HUD is a bit stupid...why is the health bar this unreadable circle rather than...the usual line of life? Well, at least it's easy to read the robot masters' life. Most of the sprites look really similar to Mega Man 7, though I'll say they are a bit more colorful. The backgrounds are vibrant and fantastic, though there is one small problem which I'll address as I move on to music.

The songs are remixes of the most famous songs from the series, which is fantastic. However, I have one big annoyance: the songs (and their backgrounds) don't match the robot masters. Maybe this makes me a wonder nerd to know they are playing Flash Man's song when I'm fighting Wood Man, but it really irked me, especially since they recycle backgrounds and songs between the different sets you can fight through. 

Wily's Castle only has two stops. Way to underachieve. 

As it stands, Mega Man: The Power Battles is still a fun game...in small doses. A single run will usually last you only around 30-45 minutes at most, and odds are it'll only cost you two or three quarters. Play co-op and you might not ever die. A one-time run is a fun trip down memory lane, but burn through all three scenarios back to back and you start to feel the tedium. 

But what irks me the most is the lack of challenge. I mean, if you went through all the trouble to accurately represent each robot masters' attacks, and you have a freaking arcade game (which are designed to scarf quarters), then why would you make this game a total cakewalk? Make it really hard or at least challenging rather than absurdly easy!

All that aside, I still recommend checking it out if you are a Mega Man fan. It's a cheap investment for a playthrough if you manage to find an arcade machine at your local pizza place or something, or if you own a copy of Mega Man Anniversary Collection you can play it on that (and for free). Still, I can't help but think they could have done better here.

If only they made a sequel...(stay tuned!)

Two out of five for single player, but I'd say playing with a friend greatly increase the experience, so tack a star on if you play co-op. 

You made like eighty robot masters and none of them could kill Mega Man, dude. Why do you suck so bad?