Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 11 - Caveman Commando

I went to the game store today and picked up some crap. I have a cart at a certain chain that makes the majority of retro games $3, and it's hard to say no to $3 games! Also, this is why I have like 300 games on Steam.
Also, don't worry: I didn't get any NES games that come before "C." Because retroactively reviewing retro games seems redundant.
Whatever, on with the show!

Caveman Games

A little background

Apparently "Jim" owned this game before me. 

Caveman Games is another....*sigh*...Data East experience. It was originally made for Commodore 64 and DOS by Dynamix, who would later be acquired by Sierra and make the phenomenal Incredible Machine games as well as the famous Tribes. 

The NES port was released in October of 1990, without the subtitle "Ugh-lympics." Yeah, You'll be saying "ugh" after you play this game, ha ha ha!

That was a sick burn, by the way. It's why they pay me the big bucks to do this every day. 

First impressions last forever

So there's a lot of events, and man this game looks rotten on the NES. I seem to remember seeing the Commodore 64 version and it looking better, but it might just be because I was a wee lad back then. This game also bears a striking resemblance to Konami's Track and Field games, except with cavemen. Hey, I can get behind that. 

But as I played further...

You have six events, all caveman and dinosaur themed, and all of them aren't really that great. They're the usual dexterous controller style games of the era, like early Mario Party games designed to destroy controllers so Nintendo could sell more. 

Saber Race is a button-mashy racing game similar to the one in Track and Field, except you aren't just outrunning the other guy: you're outrunning a sabre tooth tiger. Shouldn't it be "Sabre Run" then?

Mate Toss is my favorite one. It's like hammer throw, except you throw your "mate" (basically spouse). Not sexist here, because as the girl olympian you throw a boy! So that makes it ok. The concept of this one amuses me for some reason, even if the animation is atrocious.

Firemaking is a pure button masher where you race to make fire. Next. 

Clubbing is not what you think it is, as no alcohol or good times are involved. Instead, it's an American Gladiator style fighting game at the top of a large rock, where you try to bonk the other person off. Again, other games have done fighting better.

Dino Race is weirdly similar to Saber Race, except you are on the dinosaurs trying to dodge obstacles. 

And Dino Vault is a pole vaulting competition, except you are vaulting over a T-Rex's mouth. 

Out of all of them, I like Mate Toss and Dino Vault, because they're funny. But all in all, even with two players it isn't really much better than Track and Field. And the graphics are way worse. 

So what's the conclusion? 

My wife's family has some nostalgia for this game, which is fair, but I can't say I'm a huge fan. It's basically, again, Track and Field with a Caveman theme. Which would be more interesting than Track and Field, if the game was comparable. It's ugly, doesn't sound great, and only plays decently. I really can't recommend it, despite thinking the idea is funny.

Codename: Viper

A little background

Hey, another Capcom game!

Code Name: Viper (the space is there in cover art!) was released in March of 1990, and is pretty much a big fat ripoff of Namco's 1986 arcade game (turned Tengen NES port), Rolling Thunder. Like, a total ripoff. Same looking sprites, same two-levels, one-shot deaths, hide in doorways...all of it. Total ripoff.

But if a ripoff does it better, then that's ok, right? Is Codename: Viper a good action platformer?

First impressions last forever

This is a really good looking game, with awesome music too. The premise is simple: you are sent to South America to bust up some drug cartels. With guns. The dialogue boxes look a bit like Bionic Commando, and when you shoot guys they literally disintegrate into dust. 

You also die really easily. Two hits (or touches of an enemy) or a single bullet, and you're done. 

But as I played further...

I really like Rolling Thunder, but I have to admit I like Codename: Viper better. The game feels a lot less picky than Rolling Thunder: you can actually shoot and jump in Viper, as well as change your jump trajectory mid-leap rather than having to completely commit. The game also looks way better, with the backgrounds being varied jungles and villages rather than the inside of some bunker. 

I will say they could have tried to be less shameless about it. Everything here is the same. You have the two-levels of play (not unlike Bad Dudes) where pressing up and jump switches floors (or down and jump pops you back down). You die very easily and have to both conserve ammo and be very smart lest you'll kick the bucket. You can hide in doorways (in this game it's spinning, weird holes in the sides of rocks) and rescue people, or find more bullets for your weapons. Even the sprites are extra tall and skinny, just like Rolling Thunder. Namco should sue. 

So what's the conclusion? 

This is a fun, arcade-style NES game! I will admit it can be very frustrating if you keep dying, or think you are ducking under a bullet and it turns out you get shot right in the head. But the game has this good mix of twitch reaction combined with careful planning and plodding (as well as hiding from enemies) that keeps it challenging but also very engaging. You'll keep coming back for more, even as the game keeps kicking you back to checkpoints. Every enemies is a potential death, and you treat it as such.
Plus it's fast, the controls are extremely responsive, and the game looks phenomenal. I just wish you had more than three continues. Even on "Easy," this game can crush you.
Copies are usually around $3-5, and I'd suggest picking it up if you find it!

Commando

A little background

Oh, Commando, Capcom's arcade classic. And back before they modernized their label style and had that awesome, vector-laser grid in the backdrop that doesn't at all look dated. Fantastic. 

Commando (or Wolf of the Battlefield in Japan, which sounds way more badass) is a well-remembered arcade game that hit the NES in May 1985. The game was a pretty faithful representation of the arcade experience (as good as the NES can be in that regard, anyway), complete with two-player and a large number of action-packed stages. This was the great grand-daddy of dual-stick shooters, back when you only had one stick and you had to move in a direction in order to shoot that way. Ah, old controls. 

First impressions last forever

This game is still a lot of fun, even from the start, though it does suffer from a whole mess of slowdown and sprite flicker. While the game plays OK on the D-Pad, it's arcade games like these that make me bust out the ol' NES Advantage and play it like god intended: on an arcade stick. Plays a lot better, trust me. 

But as I played further...

Commando is still a solid NES experience, even if it isn't as good as the arcade game. It's challenging, with bullets everywhere, and trying to stop and kill every enemy is actually not the best strategy. The game only has four levels before it cycles and you go through again, but it's fine because the second round is considerably harder. 

As stated, the shooting feels solid, grenades are powerful and plentiful, and if you like modern dual-stick shooters, you'd probably enjoy this predecessor. 

So what's the conclusion? 

I like Commando, though I honestly usually play Jackel instead for my Capcom single-stick top-down shooter needs. And remember when I told you this was a prequel to Bionic Commando? Yep, it still is. Craaaaaaaaazy. 

The slowdown and sprite flicker does get pretty bad, especially on the second round when there's a truckload of enemies and bullets, but I didn't think it was enough to ruin the experience. Commando is a lot of fun, especially with two people, and is probably an essential piece of history for any NES collector.

Copies are usually cheap as well, around $3-5. 

WTactics Summer of Cards

WTactics is a beautiful, freely licensed card game which pleasantly surprises for example by having it's amazing assets under free licenses, not shying away from employing same-sex love themes and now, by inviting game designers to share an apartment in lovely Sweden on WTactics development during July 2013.

People all over the world are hereby welcomed to participate in Summer of Cards 2013 – the first ever real life gathering of the dev. team and all those of you that want to get aboard and contribute to the worlds first truly pro libre customizable card game, our dear WTactics. 1:st to 28:th of July 2013 is when this is going down in Malmö, Sweden, so do some reading in here and scribble us a mail already so we can start planning for wicked goodness. You come and stay as you may.

"A couchsurfing style gamejam" was approved as a possible description of the event.

Invitation to summer of cards 2013

Your host says hi!

Once this returns positive results, I will be hoping for the first free, open source monastery being found by 2015... :)

Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 10 - Dracula's Feng Shui

Today is all about one of my favorite game series: Castlevania.
CASTLEVANIA.
Aka "Suck it, Dracula, why won't you stay dead?"
I like Castlevania so much I even made a video of my Top 10 Castlevania songs. I guess that's the free youtube link of the day, even if Smooth McGroove's Bloody Tears acapella is pretty much the best ever.
Enough of my self-plugging of my defunct youtube channel (which I'll get back to after I learn Adobe Premiere...), let's hit up them reviews.

Castlevania

A little background

Castlevania, the first of Konami's blockbuster series (which has since taken some interesting turns), was released in the US in May 1987. It was meant to be a homage to all those old monster movies; you know, with bosses like the Mummy, Medusa, Frankenstein, and others. The movie motif was also evidenced by the film-reels that were on the sides of the title screen, an inclusion in every NES Castlevania title (this was later eliminated by the next gen games on the Genesis and SNES). 

Something that has always impressed me about this first game (and later Bloodlines on the Genesis) was how much incredible work was put into every single step of the game. This was an era where game developers made grids and calculated exact jump distances, where every enemy's placement wasn't just there because they had an empty spot, but was placed in that specific location for a reason. Every single level, every single step in every single level was planned. These days, the only games that even come close to that level of meticulous design are perhaps the Dark/Demon Souls games, and even then I still imagine Castlevania was gone over more times than even those. It's Mario 3 levels of gameplay perfection, an art lost over the ages. This is gaming at it's perfect blend of art and geometry, every encounter calculated and played out exactly the way a developer wanted it. It's as much as argument for linear design as Call of Duty is an argument against.

Point? Castlevania is a crowning jewel of the NES. Few games of its time can reach its level, and even fewer games since. It's a bona fide masterpiece.

And I just did the conclusion before the review even started. Whoops. 

First impressions last forever

This game's production values are extraordinary, especially the graphics and music. From the first scene as you approach the castle, I always just was marveling at how darned beautiful the freaking bricks on the outside of the castle were. Seriously, the bricks! They look so good! And the music, holy crap the music. Immortally remembered tunes. Man, this game's soundtrack. 

But as I played further...

Ok, gotta actually do impressions here. As stated by people more charismatic than I, there is a delay while you attack, which is annoying at first but quickly becomes a skill you develop. It requires you to think carefully when attacking, as there is both a delay before and after (and you can't attack while moving) which makes even the dumbest enemies a challenge. Remember when Bioshock came out and they made as if every splicer was some big battle, but eventually you just became Captain Lightning Hands and slaughtered 'em by the dozens? Ain't like that in Castlevania; game actually gets harder, and you don't get better (as a character. As a player, you actually learn skills to master the game).

Jumping is a major pain, but again; the game is designed around your awful, unalterable jumping arch. While technically it's "realistic" (since I can't change my direction mid-jump), it means every jump is a weird, floaty moon-jump. Which, again, takes some getting used to.

Also, this game is hard. While it is designed to give you the right powerups for areas, mastering those powerups (as well as whipping and jumping) is up to you. Again, with no actual character upgrades, this game relies completely on skill. And you'd better get skilled, or you'll never beat that hallway before Death (aka "The hardest part of the whole game.")

So what's the conclusion? 

I recently read an article on GamesRadar where the writer was stating that retro games are starting to feel their age, and they aren't really comparable to modern games. To which I say "False, good sir! For one gander at Castlevania (or Mario 3. Or Shatterhand.) and you will find game design that matches even the best of modern attempts!"
Except I wouldn't actually say that because that would be weird and he can't hear me through the internet, but you get my point.
While many old games have sort of lost their edge as modern improvements make games more enjoyable, streamlined, and incentivized, games like Castlevania are still just as relevant as when they were released. Strong level design, controls, and windows dressing (graphics and music) hold up even to this day, and dare I say even outclass many modern games.
I'm just trying to say I really, really like Castlevania. Is that ok? Is that so wrong? Even if I ramble just a little bit, and use a few superlatives? I dunno, maybe you just saw the blocks of text and skipped to the end. That's ok too.
If you own an NES, you should own Castlevania. Copies are going up in price (they're around $15-20 now), so grab 'em while the grabbing is good.

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest

A little background

Oh, poor Simon's Quest. This game just gets hated on by everybody. Released in December of 1988, it attempted to take the original Castlevania formula and ramp it up with a bigger world, more items and enemies, and a longer adventure that incorporated exploration and puzzle elements. Even a bit of RPGness was tossed in there, for good measure. 

This game is often considered amongst games like Adventures of Link and Mario 2 as one of the "weird experimental sequels" of the NES era. Long before game developers were too scared to go completely crazy when making sequels to successful games, these three popular games all tried something unique with sequels to their blockbusters. And, while most people can at least agree that Adventures of Link and Mario 2 are ok (Mario 2 is awesome and I'll kill anyone who says otherwise), everybody universally hates Simon's Quest.

But is this hate really justified? Is the game that bad? 

First impressions last forever

The game has a much darker color pallet than Castlevania, which makes everything look a bit muddy but also bleaker, which I kind of like. While going around town talking to people feels useless (and I fell in the river. Oops), it's still kind of a cool concept. And the music is still quite good, if not as good as the original.

I'd also like to go on a tangent here. The first time you step out of the town into the forest, and see the 8-bit trees leading off into dense thickets, the wolves and skeletons coming for you, and that killer Bloody Tears kicks in, I'm always overcome with a sense of...something. Like I'm going off into this amazing new world, full of adventure and mystery. 

See, that's something I feel is lost in modern games. Advances in technology let us render every single leaf on every single tree, making the game more real than ever before. But something about seeing everything ruins a bit of the magic, and takes away the mystery. Stepping out into Castlevania 2's world for the first time evokes a sense of starting on a grand adventure, like Bilbo when he left the Shire for the first time in The Hobbit. We don't know what's out there, where Castlevania 2 is going to take us, but man are we excited for it!

But as I played further...

Too bad that excitement is ill-founded.

Castlevania 2's biggest problem is lack of direction, not just on the player end, but on the design side as well. Playing through, whippin' dudes is fun for the first bit, until you realize you have no idea what you are doing. You don't know what your goal is, where you should be going, and what you should spend your  hearts on. Eventually you go too far for your current gear and get killed by some overpowered enemies, losing all your hearts and starting over. This is standard for a first-time playthrough without a guide, and unlike in Castlevania where deaths were your own fault, this is unfair and the fault of the game's design.

So you start off again, staying within the carefully restricted playground Castlevania 2 allows you to wander with your current toolsets. You become scared to explore this world, because death's penalty (losing all your hearts) is extremely harsh. You stop being excited to see the world, and instead feel like you're being kept in a playpen while the rest of the world is out having fun. It's maddening. 

And then, once you farm enough hearts to get the gear needed for the next area, you don't feel accomplished. You moved from one prison to another, farming more hearts for the next area. Great. 

I don't think the ideas here are bad. Hell, they recycle them (in different form) for Symphony of the Night and all the GBA/DS games, and people love those (myself included). The problem is you can see through the game's flashy exterior and straight to the design flaws, which the Metroidvania sequels masked through better pacing and a faster sense of character progression (through experience points and lenient death penalties). Castlevania 2 isn't smart enough to do this, and because of that you get a game where you not only feel trapped, you feel like you have no idea how to escape your prison. Villagers are useless, hints are non-existant, and you'd better have either your Nintendo Power or Gamefaqs near if you ever plan on beating this game. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Simon's Quest is misguided, but not offensive. I still think it's worth experiencing, and if you have a guide (and a lot of patience), you could still technically have a decent time with it. But what was lost - the meticulously designed stages, bosses, and skill-based progression - is a devastating blow to the series. Konami would later perfect this sort of design after experimenting a bit with branching paths in Castlevania 3 when inventing their own fusion-genre with Symphony of the Night, but before Symphony of the Night could exist, there had to be a Simon's Quest. It's unfortunate, but it had to happen.
Is this game worth owning? Well, it's cheaper than all the other Castlevania games (usually $10 or less), which is a good selling point. The music and graphics are still good, and there's a few cool castles, though not one of them can compare to even a single level of Castlevania 1. All-in-all, it's still a necessary part of a collection, but certainly one of the worst of all the Castlevania games.
That being said, I'd still play it before Castlevania: Judgement, so it has that going for it.

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse

A little background

After Simon's Quest revealed that the fans did not want more of those types of Castlevania games (yet), Konami went back to basics with Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse in September of 1990. Castlevania 3 was a prequel to the first two games, playing as Simon's ancestor, Trevor, and starting the whole "there will always be a Dracula, a Belmont, and a Castle" triforce of rules that Bioshock Infinite clearly ripped off. Ok, maybe not, but the Belmont genealogical tree at least makes sense, unlike Zelda's chronology. 

Anyway, Castlevania 3 brought back your regular, linear-style of whipping, though in this game you had a few branching paths as well as alternat characters. Grant could stab with knives and climb on walls and ceilings, Sylva was a magician nuker lady (though it says "he" joined your party after you get her. Lazy!), and Alucard's first appearance in the series was paired with the super-cheaty "bat transform," which could get you through most levels. This was the first time in the series you could switch between multiple characters in a single game, a feature abandoned all the way up until the DS's Portrait of Ruin. 

First impressions last forever

This is another great looking, great sounding Castlevania game. From the badass opening scene where Trevor is praying before the cross before tossing his cloak behind him, ready to kick undead butt; this game feels awesome. The color pallet also feels like a fusion between Castlevania and Simon's Quest, with enough bright colors to make necessary things pop, but still having a dark underbelly. And the stained glass in the second screen is phenomenally gorgeous. 

But as I played further...

This game is super hard, one of the hardest on the NES. And yeah, Castlevania wasn't exactly easy or anything, but it felt fair. Castlevania 3 is like Castlevania's sadistic brother, constantly torturing you with levels you know are possible, but why are they so hard? The staircase with the shooting skull heads that you can't even kill is probably the absolute worst, though there's still plenty more (jumping on moving pendulums with his awful jumping mechanic? Gee, thanks Konami). 

This game also, while still feeling much tighter designed than Simon's Quest, still isn't quite as refined as Castlevania. There's a few weird screens and stages where stuff doesn't really feel like it's been put there intentionally, and whoever designed the exploding-jellyfish enemies should be punched in the face. Maybe it's the difficulty that exacerbates this feeling of somewhat tossed-together levels, but in either case it doesn't feel quite as fun or polished as Castlevania, though to be fair it does feel more polished than 99% of all other NES games. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Castlevania 3 is a sequel that played it safe, but also incorporated enough new stuff to be unique (the multiple characters and splitting paths). I would have considered this to be the best Castlevania game on the NES, if only they'd done a better job balancing the game and pacing its difficulty better. Instead, you get an uneven game that can be fun one minute, challenging the next, and hair-pullingly difficult the next. Now take those three and mix them up into a completely random order, and you have Castlevania III.
It's still a very fun game (though a Game Genie with unlimited lives helps), and you can get better at the game and memorize it's levels to eventually beat it. But the difficulty is so high it isn't nearly as satisfying as mastering the first game, which is a shame. Castlevania 3 is still essential to an NES collector's collection, but you'll probably play Castlevania 1 more.
Copies are getting pricy as well, usually around $15-30, depending on the quality of the label.

Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 9 - Bugs Bunny's Burgertime

Day 9, and still going. I picked up Super Return of the Jedi today at the game store, finally rounding off my Super Star Wars SNES collection in memory of LucasArts. Pity that company kind of fell of the deep end...then fell off completely.

Today's batch is a mixed bunch of interesting NES games, though I may change your mind about one of them. Also, I've started playing Sleeping Dogs on the PC after Vinny on GiantBomb wouldn't shut up about it...and it's pretty good! Based on the few hours I've sunk, I'd recommend it fo' sho.'

Here's a big band arrangement of the best Zelda song for ya, and on with the reviews.

Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout

A little background

The Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout (yeah, I put it wrong in the header graphic, sue me) was released in September of 1990 to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Bugs Bunny. It was created by Kemco, who actually released a fair number of quality games like Shadowgate, Desert Commander, and others, though to be honest 90% of what they put out was licensed junk. Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout (I'm going to call it that even though it's wrong) is a spin-off sequel to The Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle, which is total crap and somehow the series survived all the way to the GBA days.

This game is probably most famous for being panned by a certain gaming nerd who tends to have a temper issue, but is the game really all that bad? 

First impressions last forever

I bought this game solely because, as I watched AVGN play it, I thought it looked fun. Really! And guess what? The game is pretty fun! The graphics remind me a lot of the Tiny Tunes game (that's a compliment), and even though they're not the best ever, the game still looks good. Bugs jumps like he's on the moon (which I guess makes sense since he's a rabbit) and can bash enemies with a short range hammer. 

What I really noticed was whenever you picked up the carrots (essentially Mario's coins), they turn into little WB logos. Shameless. 

But as I played further...

Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout really sucked me in. It has a few cool mechanics, too. Those WBs left behind after picking up carrots? They double as platforms, meaning some areas you have to collect carrots first, then go back and use them as platforms to continue. Skilled players can also get a carrot and still land on the platform, saving time and getting to secret areas. It's a neat gimmick. 

The enemies are weird and don't variate much, the most common being these hammer guys that leap into the air and lunge down at you. The weird thing is none of the enemies (except the ghosts later) do any damage if you are standing on top of them, Mario 2 style. Only if you hit them from the side (or get caught in an attack animation) do you take damage.

The biggest annoyance is that when you do take damage, you can't use your weapon for a while when you're invincible. That's less annoying during the game, where you can use the opportunity and the long "stun" time to just run past all the enemies, but on the bosses it can screw you over.

The bosses are also all total jokes. The only one remotely difficult is Yosemite Sam, because he has a projectile. The rest are very simple patterns or deflecting projectiles with the hammer's generous hit box. Daffy's "boss fights" aren't even boss fights; you can't kill him, you just have to jump to the big carrot. One of them I just jumped straight up and bam, boss beaten. Didn't even have to move. 

So what's the conclusion? 

I'm going to very heartily disagree with AVGN here: The Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout is an excellent game. Ok, "excellent" might be a bit generous, but it's still a solid platformer with some cool new ideas. It's only real weakness is that it's really easy and really short. Because of a minigame at the end of the level (where you gamble your carrots to get lives), you can horde absurd amounts of 1ups. By the end of the game, I had 87, and that was with me dying quite a bit on the more obnoxious levels. The other big annoyance in that regard is no mid-level checkpoints, but that only really gets on your nerves for the last three or four levels. This isn't Ghouls and Goblins by any means.

All in all, BBBB is fun, has good graphics and control, feels unique (actually feels a bit like Super Mario Land on the Game Boy for some reason. That's a compliment.) and is a good way to burn an hour or so it takes to beat it. If you see it at the game store, give it a shot! It's certainly one of the more "playable" NES platformers out there.

Copies are cheap, usually around $3. 

Watch me play it here!

Burgertime

A little background

Burgertime is a port of an arcade game of the same name, published by Data East (not them again...) in May of 1987, five years after the arcade game debuted. The game has a Donkey Kong-esque arcade feel to it (or more of a hybrid between DK1 and Jr.) with punishing difficulty mixed with lots of vertical and horizontal enemy dodging. It also stars a dude called "Peter Pepper," who should totally hang out with Master Higgens in the "great old-school character names" club. 

First impressions last forever

This game is hella hard. I think I like it (I really enjoy old arcade pointy games like Pac-Man, Galaga, and the Donkey Kong games, but for some reason I'm just awful at Burgertime. 

That being said, this is a pretty faithful arcade port (from what little of the arcade version I've played). It looks like an old NES game, but doesn't fall into that usual Data East trap of porting games over and making them way worse. Maybe because Data East also made the arcade version of this one. Who knows. 

But as I played further...

I still suck at it, but it's still a fun, challenging arcade game. The goal is simple: stomp on all the ingredients (in order, if possible) of the burgers to drop them below, and once you finish four burgers you go to the next stage. The issues is that you have to climb up and down all these ladders, and these jerk foods all want you dead. Eggs, milk, hot-dogs: all murderers. Calamity! 

You have a limited stun attack for emergencies, but the real way to kill them is to smash-em-up into the sandwich by dropping the ingredients on them (somebody's getting a little "extra" with their burger. Hope they like egg!). It's kind of Donkey Kong Jr. in that way, except I'm actually good at Donkey Kong Jr. I suck at Burgertime, if you missed that memo. 

So what's the conclusion? 

I'd say play the arcade game (or an emulated copy) a bit and decide if it's your cup of arcade tea, and if so snatch it up. If not, then don't. I'm not saying if this game is good or bad, and as a port it's solidly made and accurate to the arcade experience. 

I just suck at it. 

That's the thing about these old arcade games: they're really hit-or-miss. I think that's why Pac-Man took off so well: it's probably the most accessible and playable of the arcade games of that era. The others had such a high bar of entry, people didn't want to put more coins in. Like Burgertime. Which I suck at.

Woah, tangent.

Anyway, if you like arcade games, Burgertime is 'aight. If you don't, then don't bother.

It's usually around $5-10 for a cart. 

Captain Skyhawk

A little background

In June of 1991, Rare punched out yet another game for the NES, this time bringing us Captain Skyhawk. This game is another one that seems to plague my local gaming stores (it and Silent Scope): there's like twenty trillion copies and I don't know why. Usually when that happens, I assume the game is bad. Is this game bad? Well, that's what I'm here for. 

Also, fun fact: this game's music was composed by David Wise, who also did all the Donkey Kong Country music. Except now that I think about it, I don't remember much music in this game, just a lot of shooting and jet engine sounds. Maybe he wrote that, too, who knows. 

First impressions last forever

Holy balls this game looks like Zaxxon, and that's a good thing (Zaxxon is boss hog!). You fly a plane over an 3D esque landscape, being able to determine your height from the ground. The difference between this and Zaxxon is Zaxxon was on an isometric style, while this one you just fly straight up. Which isn't as cool, because Zaxxon had areas that required precise height/depth levels to continue, while Captain Starhawk you can just fly at maximum height 99% of the time and be ok. I'm fine with this.

After beating the first level oh hey a 3D, tail-end fighting stage ala Afterburner? Did they just rip off a bunch of Sega games to make this?

But as I played further...

They did rip off a bunch of Sega games to make this, but you know what? I'm OK with it, because Captain Starhawk is ok in my book.

The "another damn NES shmup" stages are my favorite, because they control best and have the best looking graphics, as well as are a fun challenge. The first stage is just survival, while the second requires you to bomb two locations (and will cycle until you do). Not to bad, honestly. 

The 3D stages kind of suck, Top Gun style. I mean, they're ok, and mostly just seem there as bonus stages, but the graphics look bad and the controls are dodgy at best. 

I do like that this game has an upgrade system, though you should just use a turbo controller and only upgrade your regular cannon, because then you'll destroy everything. I don't like that you have to "dock with the space station"(?! Why is a jet in space?) in order to proceed at that point, which is annoying until you figure out the exact timing. 

Also: don't be fooled by the "Continue?" button without a number; you only get five and then it's a game over. 

So what's the conclusion? 

I think this game's ok. I was a huge fan of Zaxxon back when my parents first bought a Commodore 64 (I was like three or something), and this game has that Zaxxon feel to it. I also like Afterburner, which this game doesn't ape quite as well. I still have to give it to Rare, though: those guys sure dabbled in just about every genre before becoming Microsoft's Kinect bitch. And while I still think they're firmly set as gaming's "Jack of all trades, master of none," Captain Starhawk is still a fun and solid NES game. 

If you like shooters, NES jet sound effects, and all those bad crazy NES "special graphics," Captain Skyhawk's got it all here and in spades for ya. Also in space. Why is the jet in space?

Copies are like $3. 

Casino Kid

A little background

Ah, Casino Kid. An attempt to fuse the JRPG sprites and elements from Dragon Quest into a game about playing blackjack and poker. SOFEL (whose only other game of note was Wall Street Kid) pumped this game out in October of 1989. There's a truckload of gambling games on the NES, but people seem to remember this one because it looks like a JRPG, with a big-headed sprite wandering around and participating in activities. Hey, that sounds like another game that ended up sucking, Adventures in the Magic Kingdom! Uh oh. 

Also, I didn't pay $3 for it, despite what that suggests. Our local game store has 3 for $1 sports and casino games (and I have a 10% off card), so I got it for 30 cents. Score?

First impressions last forever

The game does look like a JRPG! But in a casino! How could this go bad? 

But as I played further...

Man, this game sucks.

So the first thing you'll notice is you walk super slow. That's great. 

Then you notice that you can't actually play with anybody; you have to play with specific people, in order. The first person is (obviously) the farthest possible distance from you in this maze-like casino, so good luck finding them and getting to actual gameplay.

The "casino" part is also very underwhelming. While it does have poker and blackjack, the game isn't really all that...fun? I don't mind casino games for the most part, but something about Casino Kid is boring.

The worst part is in order to progress, you have to completely clean out the person. Then you'll have to find the other random person who will now play with you, beat them, and continue. Do that enough times and you win the game. Joy. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Casino Kid is a pitiful casino game. While it maybe had some good ideas hidden under there (Sword & Poker on iOS combined poker and JRPGs in the most awesome way possible), they must have all been swept under the rug before this game actually came out. Not to spoil future reviews, but the only gambling game you need on the NES (if that's your thing) is Vegas Dreams, which puts this game to complete shame. Bad gambling, boring slow gameplay, and having to walk to arbitrary spots are just huge speed bumps on a road that only leads to playing freaking blackjack anyway.

Avoid. Unless you are collector, and then you can justify the 30 cents. Sort of. 

Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 8 - A Boy and his Blaster

Nothing some outer-glow or bevel won't do for readability! This isn't the final version of the title image, not by a long shot, but considering my collection I'll say I have a good few months to revise it. For now, hopefully this makes it a little more readable.

Today's batch is actually mostly great game, so let's get on with it! Oh, and here's some youtube retro music goodness for today.

Blades of Steel

A little background

Konami really knew how to not pull any punches when it came to its NES games. Yeah, it had a few stinkers, but the company was really on the ball back in the day (wish I could say that about modern Konami...). In addition to bringing us all-time classics like Castlevania, Lifeforce, and Metal Gear, they also pumped out a truckload of phenomenal sports games. Blades of Steel is one of those.

Released in December of 1988, Blades of Steel was meant to be a more realistic hockey game compared to Nintendo's own Ice Hockey. NES fans and purists still fight over which game is superior, but that's a conversation for another time. Blades of Steel was also an arcade game, but most people probably remember it from this NES rendition. 

First impressions last forever

The voice sampling in this game is actually really good! The intro "BLADES OF STEEL!" is iconic, and the "Faceoff!" and "Fight!" voices are also great.

But what really hits you is both the fluidity of the graphics and controls. Blades of Steel is very intuitive, even from the get go. The fantastic character sprites mixed with an obvious flash of who you are controlling keeps the game simple, and passing and shooting controls are both easy to handle. Plus, the game is (as mentioned already) very smooth and has very little slowdown (though you do get some sprite flicker). 

But as I played further...

This game gets its hooks into you, but it really is fun multiplayer. My wife and I did an NES marathon, and we were stuck on Blades of Steel for a long period of time because we kept wanting "one more match." 

What's also fun is the fights, where if two players crash then the gloves come off and there's an actual fighting situation. It reminded me a bit of Base Wars (also a Konami/Ultra joint) and while it isn't anything deep, its a fun distraction. 

Games also don't last too long, unlike some sports games (*cough10-yard-fightcough*) and it is very easy for even a beginner to pick up the game and learn the ropes fast. 

So what's the conclusion? 

This is tied with Kings of the Beach as my favorite sports game on the NES, and is probably my favorite sports game, period. Even to this day, Blades of Steel is fast, furious, has great graphics and sounds, and is simple yet strategic. Even if you don't like hockey (I couldn't care less about the sport), if you have a friend who is willing to play old games with you, Blades of Steel is nothing but a good time.
Copies are fairly cheap, usually $3 or less, which is an absolute steal.

Blaster Master

A little background

Sunsoft, as mentioned in the Batman review, is pretty well known amongst NES collectors, but most people remember them for Blaster Master. With that incredibly iconic first level song, most people get all over that nostalgia trippin'! Whatever that means.

Released in November of 1988, Blaster Master actually had a children's book written about it and published by Scholastic. Yeah, seriously. It also spawned a few sequels that never really went anywhere, as well as a not-so-great Wii remake. 

First impressions last forever

This game looks and sounds phenomenal. The plot about a boy following his frog into a hole and finding a magic tank is a bit weird, but the game controls fine and the animation is superb. I always though it was cool that you could pop out of your ship and run around and try to fight the big enemies without your car (usually unsuccessfully), as well as find secret doors and ladders you can only go into while small.

The overhead-shooter view for when you're in building is also excellently controlled and looks great. It's fun!

But as I played further...

...I realized this is a really long game, really hard, and with no saves or passwords.

Don't get me wrong, I still really enjoy Blaster Master. For about an hour.

Once I hit the second boss, the game's challenge just seems to go through the roof. Yeah, you get cool new abilities (the "rocket boost wheels" on Sophia [the tank] are super rad) and it's fun to explore new areas, but the game is just so punishing it gets very frustrating. With only three lives and no password or continue option (though you can continue on death, just not if you turn the game off), you're in for the long haul if you intend to beat it.

The world feels decently designed, but there are a few weird jumps and parts when you're on foot where you have to take a hit to proceed, which is cheap. If you screw up even one of the early jumps you can fall into a pit of spikes and not get back out, ending your journey really quick. 

So what's the conclusion? 

I still think this is one of those "essential" NES games, but it's one few people will play for very long periods of time. It's just too difficult, and when the nostalgia of the awesome music and graphics checks out, you've got a game that you wish were better designed (level-wise) to accommodate for everything it does right.
Still, Blaster Master is a cool game with cool ideas. Splitting the game between a shooter-platformer and an overhead shooter-exploration game was neat, and as a whole the package feels complete. If it just wasn't so damned hard.
Copies are plentiful, and usually are under $5.

(David Crane's) A Boy and his Blob (Trouble on Blobonia)

A little background

A Boy and his Blob was published by Absolute (who I know absolute-ly nothing about. Ha ha! Actually I know they did the SNES Home Improvement game) and made by Imagineering. Imagineering, you might remember, is famous for such titles as Bart vs The Space Mutants. Yeah. those guys. 

Anyway, this game came out in December of 1989, one of those rare instances back in the day when we got a game before Japan did (in November 1990). It was later remade by WayForward on the Wii (which seems to be a trend these days...remaking NES games) into a much-improved and much cuter game. "Much cuter," great work. I'm a writer. 

First impressions last forever

Despite the boy looking a bit...bland, this game has some phenomenal animation, especially with the Blob. The ideas here are also cool: you have a Blob that's essentially a toolset, and you use jelly beads to morph him into these various tools to solve puzzles and do some platforming. Pretty original, though if you think the concept sounds like it would lead to frustration, you'd be right. 

But as I played further...

A Boy and his Blob isn't a very fun game to play. It's a great game in concept, and I admire the developers for trying something so unique on such an old machine. With games just now realizing that sidekicks could be, you know, useful (see Bioshock Infinite's Elizabeth), this game's whole crux was based around the fact that this Blob does 90% of the work through instruction.

The issue is that the game is slow, choppy, and honestly a bit boring. This is the kind of game where experimenting with solutions could allow for some fun gameplay elements, or having situations where multiple paths could be attempted with different Blob abilities. Instead, it's a slow-moving, trial-and-error situation with some not-so-hot platforming mixed in. Again, not awful, just not engaging, at least for me. 

So what's the conclusion? 

It's a classic, to be sure, but mostly because of what it was trying to do, not really what it actually accomplished. I honestly think that the developer's ambition was bigger than the NES could handle, which is why the Wii version feels a lot better (though it still has its own set of problems). A Boy and his Blob is still worth checking out if you want to see a unique concept on the NES (as well as some excellent transformation animations for the Blob), but as a game you actually would sit down and play it sort of falls flat. Like the Blob will if you feed him the right jelly bean.

Copies tend to be a bit more pricy, ranging from $10-15. 

Bubble Bobble

A little background

"These are two hungry dino-mights and they've got bubble fighti'n fun down right!"

That might be the best box quote ever to grace a video game. Plastered on every copy of Bubble Bobble NES is this inspired "poem," which makes Edgar Allen Poe look like a poetic troglodyte.

Oh yeah, a review. Right.

Bubble Bobble was an arcade smash hit back in the 80s, so it makes sense an NES port would show up two years later, in November of 1988. Bub and Bob quickly became iconic characters for Taito, eventually migrating over to the Bust-a-Move franchise, and getting some awful backstory about how they're actually transformed humans searching for their transformed girlfriend. Ok, way to take something cute and make it creepy. 

Anyway, the game has been remade and re-released countless times, remixing the iconic theme and upping the graphics and who knows what else. As a tangential FYI: the Bubble Bobble Neo remake on the Xbox 360 is an absolutely horrible port where they screw up the controls so bad it makes some levels almost impossible, so don't get it. Just tossing that out there. 

First impressions last forever

I love Bubble Bobble, but only when I'm playing it two player. Call me picky, but the game is actually kind of dull when I'm playing it by myself. As far as ports go, this NES version seems very comparable, with fluid graphics and animations that match the arcade game. It isn't one-to-one perfect, but it's close enough. Playing two-player is a blast as already mentioned, and I'm already humming the tune to myself just thinking about it. 

But as I played further...

This game is also one that gets ridiculously difficult the further you play, because it was originally designed as an arcade game to eat quarters. However, once you die you realize my biggest peeve about this port: no continues. Once you die, you have to put in a password to keep going or start over. Not cool. And since you have limited lives, you'll be dying a lot. I don't get why this whole "unlimited continues" thing didn't really catch on until way later (even the Metal Slug 3 port on the original Xbox had stupid continue limitations). I already bought the game, guys! Just let me play forever!

It's nothing Game Genie can't fix, but it's still an annoyance. Protip: Put BACCF as a password before starting, and you'll get 99 lives! Aren't you glad you read this review? 

So what's the conclusion? 

Bubble Bobble is charming, has a ton of personality as well as ionic enemies and characters, and is a riot to play with a friend. Minus the annoying continue "feature," it's a solid arcade experience on a home console, and best emulates the original out of the versions I've played thus far. Bubble Bobble is a must-have for people who like playing with friends, or who had any enjoyment out of the first game. I even like it better than it's absurdly expensive sequel, Bubble Bobble II, which costs like $100+ on the NES. Forget that game, get this one instead.

Copies are still a bit pricy, ranging from $15-20 normally, though I've seen them drop to $10. 

Nathan vs His Game Collection: Day 7 - Bionic Baby Moses

We round off the first week of this experiment by finishing my first shelf of NES games! See that one in the upper right in the header picture? Yeah, the one up there? That's it! We're done! Hooray!
Only seven more shelves to go of NES games! Hope you're all in it for the long haul.

Continuing the tradition of dropping youtube music references, this rendition of Frog's theme from Chrono Trigger is pretty great.

On with the reviews!

The Battle of Olympus

A little background

Is it weird that whenever I see a Borderbund logo on something I immediately think of Myst? Must be my PC days catching up to me. 

Long before God of War mined Greek Mythology for its setting, we have The Battle of Olympus in 

December of 1989. Playing as Orpheus (a musician/poet in real Greek mythology, and your starting Persona in Persona 3 because that's totally relevant to this review), you find out that your girlfriend was killed by Hades to be his bride. So off you go to kick some butt across many Greek worlds. Sounds like God of War NES to me!

First impressions last forever

This game is very much a knock off of Zelda II. The side-scrolling looks the same, when you get hit it looks the same, and you have a life bar that is also similar. The game looks quite good and the controls are solid, but it also has the Zelda II problem of not knowing where the crap to go. 

But as I played further...

Despite the lack of direction, I love The Battle of Olympus. Despite wholesale ripping off Zelda II, there's still a good number of differences. The game is less of an action RPG and more of just an action game. You gain lots of cool gear like new weapons and abilities, and battle lots of creatures from Greek mythology. Again, God of War-esque, only without the rage and bad character development.

The music is phenomenal, as are the sound effects. Again, the only real knock is the issue where you can get lost or confused easily, even though the NPCs are much better translated than in Zelda II. I feel this game works best with Gamefaqs on speed-dial. 

So what's the conclusion? 

I'd go so far as to say The Battle of Olympus is a hidden gem. While it isn't quite as polished or refined as Zelda II, for a knock-off it does more than its fair share of carving its own path. While the initial while may be frustrating and turn off some players; don't let it. Use a guide if you have to, but still experience the game. It's good looking, good sounding, and offers a fun, meaty adventure for those willing to dive in.
Copies are usually under $10.

Bible Adventures

A little background

Oh boy, here we go.

Most people have heard of this game, but for those unenlightened, here's a little background.

Back in the NES days, Nintendo kept all its games on lockdown. That "Seal of Quality" on their carts actually meant something, because Nintendo had to hand-approve all games that were released on its console. That is, until Tengen showed up and started making their own carts without Nintendo's approval. Several other companies followed suite, the most infamous of them being Wisdom Tree and Color Dreams. We won't talk about Color Dreams, but Wisdom Tree was responsible for making many unlicensed christian religious games across multiple systems, though most remember them for Bible Adventures and Super Noah's Ark 3D. 

On a personal note, I actually played this game a lot growing up. The cart came in two versions: the black which I own now, and the baby blue my friend had and we played on. I still don't know why we played it so much as kids (both my friend and I were raised christian, so I guess that might have contributed), but I think we really just liked throwing baby Moses around. 

The game came out in 1990 and actually has three games on it. To be fair, the idea of making a game based off of the Old Testament is pretty badass. Lots of crazy stuff and wars happened then that could be easily exploited (how about a game where Elijah slaughters the 450 priests of Baal, Dynasty Warriors style?). So...did they make it good?

First impressions last forever

Three games in one! You get Noah's Ark, David and Goliath, and Baby Moses. You know, your classic Bible stories that could totally work as video games. Without digging into each one individually (yet), I'll say they all share the same awful "soundtrack," which is more like random beeps and blips popping out of my NES. 

Also, this cart is more of a pain to put in and out than the Tengen ones, and it's also the pickiest game I own in terms of trying to get it to run. That isn't really related to an actual review, but I needed to vent somewhere. 

But as I played further...

These games all follow a similar pattern: pick stuff up and toss it where it needs to go. 

Noah's Ark it's obviously animals you're picking up, as Noah. First you have to find them on the map, and then haul them all to the ark. The crazy thing is he can pick up more than one at a time, leading to some awesome stacks like in the screenshot. It's kind of hilarious, in a weird way. 

Different animals have some tricks to them. Monkeys you have to stun before they pick up, and oxen are heavy and are dropped when you jump. To be fair, this isn't a bad game I guess, but it's certainly tedious. 

David and Goliath is the same thing but with freaking sheep. Because David took care of the sheep before smashing Goliath's face in, I guess. After getting them all you get to sling some Philistines, which I'm pretty sure wasn't in the Bible. Didn't he just kill Goliath first before being made king? Because the Philistines were like "We don't want to have bloodshed, so we'll just have two people fight?" Maybe I'm reading too deep into this; it's been a while. 

But to be honest, the highlight of this package is Baby Moses. You play as Moses' mom who, rather than just putting Moses in the river like she actually did in the Bible, decided to use him as a projectile weapon to attack Egyptians! And throwing Moses in the water makes you lose. Wait, what?

All that aside, this is probably the funnest game, if only because it starts out with actual enemies. You can ditch baby Moses from the beginning and the Egyptians just ignore him for some reason (even though he is the one they want, not the mom) but you can't beat the level without the little tyke. You pick up stuff and beam it at Egyptians, while trying to figure out where the crap you left Baby Moses. This is the one we played most as a kid, because the idea of lobbing the future liberator of the Israelites at Egyptians like some sort of bomb (or Mario 2 turnip) is still hilarious. I don't know if they intended this to be sacrilegious, but it's certainly how they designed it.

All the games look mediocre but not too awful. The controls are tolerable but nothing to write home about. The main problem is the tedium in all but Baby Moses, and it's really just a one-note joke anyway. 

So what's the conclusion? 

 I think everybody should have this game in their collection, but you probably won't ever play it. It's not a good game (though I honestly don't think it's as bad as people have made it out to be) but it certainly can provide a bit of entertainment. Considering how christian mythology seems only reserved for Castlevania games (and even games like Asura's Wrath manage to sneak a lot of Buddhism into it), it's kind of charming to see this game attempt to mix religion with an NES game. Charming, but not great.
If anything, being able to toss baby Moses around is worth the price of admission, which is usually $10.

Bionic Commando

A little background

Many people might not know this, but Bionic Commando is actually a spin-off of the Arcade/NES game Commando. Yeah, you didn't see that until right now, huh? I just blew your mind. 

Anyway, Super Joe is the main dude in Commando, and he's been captured in Bionic Commando, so they send Nathan "Rad" Spencer off with his bionic arm (that's also his wife...oh wait, that's the other Bionic Commando game) to kick some not-Nazi trash and rescue the guy. Sounds awesome already!

Showing up in December of 1988, this game is probably most remembered for it's "Rearmed" version released on XBLA and PSN, as well as the somewhat mediocre-but-it-still-had-some-good-ideas reboot on modern consoles. It also has a super catchy theme song. 

First impressions last forever

This is a great looking and sounding game, with really cool twists to its mechanics. Unlike 99% of other action platformers, Nathan (hey, that's my name!) actually can't jump, probably because his bionic arm weighs eighty trillion tons. Instead, you control the reach and grapple of the arm, which can fire in multiple directions (including diagonal). This makes even the first box a tutorial on how to use the arm, because you can't just jump over it.

Also, I like how it lets you pick your stages with the chopper, and man the music is sweet. 

But as I played further...

Bionic Commando is still solid, even to this day. Is it tough? Yeah, especially since you have to learn a whole new control scheme with jumping removed and the bionic arm the only option. Is it punishing? Well, you start with a limited number of lives and one bullet takes you down...so I'd say yes. Even the enemies can take multiple hits. But is it fun? You bet it is!

With tons of stages to explore and master your bionic abilities, Bionic Commando's unique spin on the platformer is still fresh, even after all the remakes. The levels are designed to be taken slow and carefully, like how a real commando under enemy lines would act. While the game has a lack of bosses, it makes up for it with challenging regular enemies, and tons of crazy secrets. 

I suck at this game, but I still love playing it. I've only ever beaten it once, and that was after a lot of deaths. 

So what's the conclusion? 

Bionic Commando is another one of those "necessary" games for any NES collector. It's got great music, sound, and completely unique gameplay. It's hard-as-nails but still feels fair, and with every level you beat you feel more and more like a badass. While the "Reloaded" game does improve on this original in nearly every way, there's still something to be said for the classic, 8-bit stylins of Nathan "Rad" Spencer.
Copies are usually under $10.