Nathan vs Perler Beads Part 4: The Megamans

It's been a while, viewers, but it's gonna be worth it. Here has been my biggest project to date. Rather then talk a lot, I'm going to let the pictures speak for themselves. MEGA MAN!

It started out simple enough, just robots from my favorite Mega Man game: #2. 

Then I remembered that Mega Man 1 and 3 are pretty awesome to, so we tossed 'em up as well. 

I couldn't live without Skull Man, so I did Mega Man 4. And gave Rock/Mega Man and ally. 

Then I was like, "Aw, screw it, let's just do the NES ones." But there was room left...

...so I changed "all NES" to "all 8-bit Mega Man robot masters."

All the robot masters from Mega Man 1,2,3,4,5,6,9,and 10, with Dr. Wily as a bonus. 

And, yes, the placement of Plug Man is intentional.

After I finished with every robot master ever I felt kind of like I was missing doing Mega Man related stuff. Luckily, Capcom discovered the SNES and re-vitalized the series...

X, geared up and ready to blast. 

But he needed a buddy...

Always do the outline and easy colors first. 

And the finished product.  MMX cart for scale. 

But there was no point in having them look all awesome without an enemy to kill, so I began work on my biggest project yet. Well, aside from the Metroid. 

This dude is as long as my forearm. 

Filling in colors...

That's a lotta red. 

Three and a half hours later...

I put MMX away, so Sigma's next to Dynowarz (another "great classic") for scale. 

And, finally, them up on the wall.

The love seat just got a lot...lovelier? PUNS. 

That's it from the Mega Man batch. Three months of work and I don't want to think of how many beads (easily in the tens of thousands, if not hundred thousand). What else do I got for ya? Well...tune in next time for some misc. stuff we've been making, followed shortly after by my next big project...POKEMON. See you then!

Adventure Island

Video Review

Written Review

The Short

Pros
- Fun, challenging 2D sidescroller from Hudsonsoft
- "Mister Higgens" is pretty much the best name for a hero ever
- Hefty number of levels, powerups, and enemies
- "Hunger" mechanic is new and nifty
- Graphics are colorful and the music is catchy

Cons
- Three lives, no continues (except through a really obscure method)
- Extremely difficult
- No backtracking at all
- Severely outclassed by its sequels

As long as there's no Gilligan, I'll be fine. 

The Long

Adventure Island is an island brimming with...well...adventure. I guess. Made by Hudsonsoft, who are probably most famous for the Bomberman series of games, Adventure Island is a traditional 2D platformer with an island theme and punishing difficulty. Considering 2D platformers are pretty much dime-a-dozen on the NES, does Adventure Island rise to the top in terms of quality?

Well, it merited two sequels, both of which are vastly superior to the original, but on it's own Adventure Island isn't all that bad. It's just super hard. 

That's not ominous at all. 

Adventure Island follows Master Higgens, who literally has the best name of anybody from a game ever, as he journeys to save his girlfriend, Tina. You don't hear any of this story until after you beat the game, however, so it's pretty much unimportant. What you do need to know is this: Master Higgens is HUNGRY. 

Yeah, that little bar on the top of the screenshots? That isn't health. Higgens dies in one hit to any enemy, so don't let the little blocks fool you. That's his hunger. As you burn through the game (burn as in burning calories!) you'll stumble across all sorts of food that sort of...materialize in thin air. Grabbing them keeps Higgens fat and energized, where if you run out of food, you die. Food only stays on the screen for a second, though, so you've gotta be quick.

That's a lotta bats. 

"Being quick" is actually a key element to this game: running is absolutely necessary. In most games running will increase your horizontal jump distance (as is expected), but Adventure Island mixes it up by also having it increase your vertical jump. Because of this, many jumps (and almost all the bosses) require you to have a running start before leaping or else you won't reach. However, paired with one-hit enemy deaths, you're essentially running a Super Meat Boy style gauntlet: running everywhere is necessary to get food and achieve jumps, but just one tiny screw-up and you are back to the beginning.

Oh yeah, that reminds me: you only have three lives and no continues. Ok, there is a continue system, but it's remarkably obscure. At the end of level one you can find a secret Hudsonsoft Bee in an item. Get that, and when you press a certain button combination upon death you can continue. Didn't get the bee? Well, don't bother holding the weird buttons, as you are permanently banned from continuing. Die just three times (remember, one hit kills!) and you are back to the title screen and the first level of the game. Punishing might be an understatement.

Are you the adventure?

This is where Adventure Island becomes a bit painful to me. I enjoy the controls, the levels, and overall the game itself. But knowing I only have three chances before it's total game over is extremely stressful. Not to mention many of the enemies are placed in a way that require trial and error, but failing is such a massive setback it can make the game more frustrating than fun. 

Still, the game looks pretty good, especially for a sort-of-early NES release. Higgens is a bit flat looking and the game has lots of solid colors rather than actually doing any pixel art, but it all comes together in a decent style that's tropical and bright to look at. It's no Castlevania or anything, but it's charming.

The music is also catchy, if not particularly memorable, though they do re-use tracks quite frequently.

There's only a handful of powersups, but the niftiest one is the skateboard. 

As it stands, Adventure Island is a decent if punishing game that is completely outclassed by its sequels. Adventure Island II and III added animals you can ride on, backtracking through levels, and a less brutal difficulty curve. While Adventure Island is still an enjoyable experience for those who love to bang their heads against walls over and over until finally achieving victory, those turned off by the whole "NES Hard" stigma should probably look elsewhere for their 2D platforming action games.

But hey, no worries, because there's a boatload of them. 

Three out of five stars. 

Master Higgens says: "All the cool kids wear helmets on their adventures!"

Chubby Cherub - Nathan vs Video Games

The first in the awesome (?) new video game movie series on the interwebs: Nathan vs Video Games...the...uh...videos? Ok, so the title needs work.

Star rating? One out of five. 

Yoostar 2: In The Movies

The Short

Pros
- Act in REAL MOVIES!
- A good 50 odd film clips to insert yourself or friends into
- Playing the game with friends can be pretty amusing
- Decent mix across genres, styles, and time
- Can upload your videos online and share them with friends

Cons
- Kinect's video recording camera looks like absolute garbage, especially next to the movie clips
- Doesn't do a good job cropping/trimming your images, and the mic is also pretty bad
- Most clips from famous movies aren't "that clip," you know, the one you actually want to perform
- Menus are clunky and hard to navigate with Kinect interface
- Doesn't have any replay value beyond a novelty you show friends

The GiantBomb bros reenact Norbit, a classic for the ages. 

The Long

The idea behind Yoostar 2 SHOULD work. Being able to insert ourselves into our favorite movies to reenact (or just act stupid) sounds both hilarious and fun, and doing it with a friend would only enhance the experience. The makers of Yoostar went so far as to say that "Yoostar will do for movies what Guitar Hero did for rock."

...yeah, it sure did. That's why I got this game off a clearance rack at K-Mart for $5. Infinite replay value. 

No sense of scale, here. 

As stated, the concept of Yoostar 2 sounds appealing. The game gives you a very wide range and selection of movies and TV to choose from, each with their own iconic moments. You can then insert yourself as one of the characters in the scene, the game will prompt you to speak the required lines at the right times, and then replay it for you. It sounds like it would be great to mess up your favorite movies, and it...sort of is, until you realize the game isn't doing half of what you think it is. 

The game only notices sound, and only if it's making noises at the right time. It can't check actual words (much like Rock Band and other singing games), it doesn't have any scenes that require actual movement (which, given the Kinect's capabilities, is the biggest loss for me), and can't sense facial expressions or anything like that. So you are pretty much just playing karaoke, except instead of singing you are reciting movie lines (or just making up your own, which I did for a certain Terminator scene). 

Acting masters. 

Once you do a scene once, you probably won't want to do it again. Luckily there's a lot here...but I swear their selection isn't very good when it comes to actual scenes from the movies. And why the heck is Norbit in this game? Norbit is like the worst movie ever! And while it's funny to be Derek Zoolander once, if you don't have friends in the room to laugh at your performance you feel pretty lame. And alone. And friendless.

But these conceptual issues have nothing on the technical problems, most of which stem from the Kinect camera itself.

First off, the microphone in the Kinect, which the game uses to record all the lines. I'll be frank: that mic is a piece of crap. I have no idea why it is so bad, but when it comes to recording things it just sounds terrible. The game makes no attempt to adjust your voice or input so that it matches the other actors in the movie (to provide a sense of volume balance) so often I'll be WAY LOUDER than the movie I'm in. The camera also picks up every little thing, so you can get bad scoring by just having a friend laugh at your antics in the background. Awesome. 

The movie selection is mostly good, but with a lot of bad. 

But the ultimate offense is how badly you look after rehearsing. The Kinect's actual camera (vs the infared one) is pretty bad, making the video quality look worse than something I would have recorded off my Razr phone back in 2004. And while I can understand it might be hard to sufficiently "crop" someone's body from the background, if you have long hair (like me) or move a lot it'll often lose you and cut body parts off. Bad trimming with bad recording makes you look like a fuzzy home video cardboard cutout, which is completely unappealing to watch. 

WHICH DEFEATS THE POINT OF THE ENTIRE GAME.

Gettin' ready to "act"

Perhaps the most damning problem with Yoostar 2 revolves back to my original complaints: there is no longevity here. Yeah, it makes for a fun time if it's the first time your friends have seen it, and you might get a few laughs out of ruining some movies (because, seriously, acting them out is boring), but after four or five scenes most people are done, and once you've seen it once you've seen it forever. It isn't like Rock Band where I'll replay games over and over for higher scores, mostly because the gameplay in Rock Band is fun, and acting out scenes in Yoostar 2 is frustrating and dull. Luckily I only paid $5 for this game on super-clearance, and even then I'm not sure I got my money's worth. 

Oh yeah, navigating the menus sucks too, but that' par for the course with Kinect games. 

Yoostar 2 looks appealing on the store shelf. It looks like you'll have a total blast, a really fun time with friends and you goof off and reenact the "THIS IS SPARTA!" scene from 300. But after a few clips you and your friends will be bored and have a weird sense of awkwardness. Did I enjoy this? Was it actually funny? Or was it just really awkward? Maybe it would be better after a few drinks, but I can't attest to that either way. 

It's hard for me to even recommend this as a gimmick game. Like I said, $5, still not sure if I got my money's worth. If someone gives it to you for free then I guess it might be worth your time. But, honestly, this game is just a slew of broken promises, bad tech, and awkwardness. There are better Kinect games if you want to show off your new toy, so go get some of those instead. 

One out of five stars. 

Meet the Fockers. Another classic. 

10-Yard Fight

Video Review

Text Review

The Short

Pros
- The first American football simulator on the NES
- Was...simple? That's a plus, right?
- Dive move when on defense turns your character into Superman
- Can be played two-player, on both offense and defense

Cons
- Incredibly boring
- Only really have two plays
- Characters move excruciatingly slow
- Receiver takes about two years to go across the line before a hike
- Graphics are ugly and there is no music
- Even two players, this game is boring and uninteresting

You'll wish that said "Tecmo Super Bowl" pretty quickly

The Long

Ah, launch NES titles. There's something sort of neat about them, how they helped lay the groundwork for an upcoming generation of games. Among this collection was a rather hefty collection of sports games (Golf, Tennis, Baseball, and 10-Yard Fight). There were also the "Black Box" collection of games, of which a fair number were sports games as well (Volleyball, Pro Wrestling, Soccer). With the NES quickly gaining steam, sports games broke off shortly after into the massive industry it is today. Just try and figure out how many baseball and golf games there are on the NES. I'll give you a hint: a lot.

There were also a lot of football games, though nothing compares to the yearly installments of Maddon and NCAA EA pumps out. Most people probably remember the Tecmo Bowl games when thinking back on them, but before that Nintendo put out this little "gem" in it's launch lineup: 10-Yard Fight.

And this review is going to be short, because this game is like Golf: absolutely dull.

Football. Wee. 

Rather than future games when would be played on a horizontal field, 10-Yard Fight opts for a vertical one. It plays like standard American football: you hike the ball, then try to make progress towards the ten-yard line (hence the game's title) to score a first down. Later, rinse, repeat until you reach the end of the field.

And I can't believe I just explained how football freaking works. I must assume my readers are idiots.

Anyway, one of the best features about nearly every football video game in existence (and the sport itself) are the plays. Complex maneuvers that all the players know and attempt to use to juke out the other team and score more yards. Well, if you like that than too bad: 10-Yard Fight will have nothing of it. In fact, there is very little you actually do control in this game. 

Yes, I'm padding the review by dodging the point. I'll get to it now. 

All you control in 10-Yard Fight is when the ball is hiked, and whether to pass it to your receiver, some other guy, or try to run with it (not a good idea). After that? Just hold up and maybe try to dodge. I guess.

Defense isn't much better. You are given the option before the play to control one of two guys, and you don't get to switch during play (so if you picked the wrong one, you are just boned). You do have an awesome flying dive that covers like six yards every time he does it, but if you miss you'll go flying off into space like a moron.

The controls for both are cumbersome and tedious, and the "feedback" is non-existant. I didn't really feel like I was making progress, and my characters are so small and move so slow it's tedious to watch.

Yawn.

I'd say more but that's pretty much it. The graphics, as you can see, somehow look worse than even Golf, and there is no music whatsoever. Kicking field goals is kind of fun, but since it never cuts to a more cinematic view even that is boring.

The game can also be played two-player, but why would you subject somebody else to this? My wife and I tried playing it and quit after the first touchdown (which, *cough*, she scored. Yeah...)

Regardless of your love or hatred of football games, one can agree: 10-Yard Fight is mediocre at the very best. I have to at least give it credit for following the basic gist of how football works (and offering the ability to play on defense, which the arcade version didn't), but even as a forerunner this game is not very fun. Pick up a superior Tecmo offering instead. 

One out of five stars. At least Golf will have somebody to hang out with, now.

Play this one instead. It's much better. 

Elite Beat Agents

The Short

Pros
- Excellent Western interpretation of Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan.
- Keeps the same addicting gameplay of the original with a ton of Western songs
- Genres range from rock to pop to punk to...Jackson 5.
- Sixteen missions with three secret missions add up to a lot of content
- Keeps the same goofy premise, hilarious cutscenes, and absolute weirdness of the original

Cons
- Songs are all covers, and some sound pretty bad
- Sound quality over the DS speakers is a bit lame. Use headphones.
- Once you master it, you are sad because there isn't an Elite Beat Agents 2

MY BODY IS READY. 

The Long

It's no secret that I loved Osu! Tatake! Ouendan. However, I was a bit sad the game never saw a US release. I mean, the game is so addicting, so well crafted, and just so much fun it would make sense to bring it over here, right?

Well, yeah, actually, because they did just that. Elite Beat Agents is Ouendan, but for the West. And guess what? It's fantastic too. 

I love that the director looks like Peter Jackson.

Similar to Ouendan, the plot of Elite Beat Agents revolves around an elite government society that is there to help you get your groove on. Under-motivated? Depressed? Upset? Simply call for help and the Elite Beat Agents will break into your house and start dancin' until you are motivated to get done what needs doin'!

While Ouendan was absurd because these were a bunch of male cheerleaders (which, in my opinion, is funner than a government agency), Elite Beat Agents is not going to be outdone for weirdness. While the scenarios in Ouendan were over the top, EBA takes it to a new level. What, a Pug trying to get home to the tune of Highway Star isn't funny enough for you? What about a baseball player who is washed up, working at an amusement park, when a FIRE BREATHING GOLEM attacks for no reason? What about a zombie outbreak where a trucker equips a gun that shoots bitter peanuts at said zombies, turning them back to normal people? What about aliens invading and banning music so nothing but literally the power of rock can create a giant music rock laser and blast them from the skies? 

Yeah, and that ain't even the half of it. Elite Beat Agents makes Ouendan look downright subtle. 

This game is surprisingly heavy on the cultural jokes. 

The gameplay remains the exact same. You have a bar at the top that is constantly draining, so to keep it from running out and the music from dying forever you gotta dance. And by "dance" I mean "tap or slide or spin the buttons to the beat." As before there are three tiers of scoring, each giving more life (and I guess "miss" and "bad" but getting those just sucks so I never counted them) as well as points. Combos are imperative for high scores, as well as staying alive. It's still extremely addicting, very fast, and really fun.

Also as before we have the same four levels of difficulty, with Insane being Hard with smaller buttons and the stages reversed. It's a downright dexterous challenge, so be sure and take a break or your stylus hand will start cramping up. The final song (Jumping Jack Flash in sort of a weird, rockinger cover) is absolutely absurd in its level of difficulty on Insane, and beating that will make you feel like a downright rock god. 

Peter Jackson's Cat Kong. 

The game looks identical to Ouendan, all the way down to the art style. You have the same 3D models on bottom with animated scenes on top, all over the top and absurd. I'll admit Ouendan is a bit more flamboyant in its overacting, but Elite Beat Agents manages to fill its own unique space with its stupid premises, so the games are distinct but still very similar.

The soundtrack really makes or breaks this game for some, and it's...a mixed bag. As much as I hate Skater Boy, playing You're The Inspiration by Chicago in a game like this is just awesome, as well as Bowie's Just Dance and the Stones' Jumpin' Jack Flash. There's a good deal of modern rock as well, such as Good Charlotte and Hoobastink, weirdly enough. It's worth noting, however, that these are all covers, and not the Guitar Hero 2 kind where they actually tried to pick singers that sound like the originals: these are very obviously covers. It didn't bug me much (though their version of Jumpin' Jack Flash, as I said earlier, is way heavier on the drums and guitar) but some purists might be annoyed. 

The only true defenders. 

Elite Beat Agents is one of my favorite DS games, if not my most favorite (it does have to compete with the Pokemon games). Fast, furious, and with tons of difficulty options and songs, Elite Beat Agents knocks it out of the park. Considering the game can be grabbed for under $10 easily from any used game store, you really should check it out. You will be pleasantly surprised, I assure you.

Tinny music and weird cover choices aside, Elite Beat Agents is a fantastic music game. 

AGENTS ARE...

GO!!!!!

(Five out of five stars)

(also, this.)

Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan

Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan

The Short

Pros
- Excellent rhythm/music game on the DS
- Soundtrack is a delightful mix from a variety of Japanese song genres
- Premise is silly and stupid, and you'll understand it even if you don't speak Japanese
- Multiple levels of difficulty allow for a long string of progression

Cons
- A bit  heavy on the J-Pop
- One of the slower songs is a good change of pace, but it comes out of nowhere
- Game eventually ends

This game is pretty Japan. 

The Long

Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan (translated roughly into: "I have no idea what this is in Japanese") is a Japan-only released rhythm game, and remains to date the only game I have ever imported. It's a well known fact that I'm a massive fan of music games in nearly all their varieties, but Ouendan was the very first music game I ever played and got hopelessly addicted to. This was back before Elite Beat Agents (essentially the US version of this game) existed, and since I'd heard great stuff about this game I found a copy off PlayAsia or eBay or something (I honestly don't remember) and imported the sucker.

I am very glad that I did.

Ouendan is an absolutely fantastic music game, even when I had no idea what any of the songs were or what anybody was saying (either in the lyrics or the on-screen text). A great blend of silly, stupid, and challenge, Ouendan is a must-get for fans of music games...though if you live in the US you should probably get Elite Beat Agents first.

Study, little man!

The "plot" to Ouendan is stupid and over the top and I love it so much. Essentially, whenever people are stressed, tired, or feel stuck, they can just shout "OUENDAN!" Moments later, a group of all-male cheerleaders clad in black trenchcoats will literally break into your house, motivating you to do whatever it is you need to do by the power of dance. I guess "Ouendan" is the name of a real-life Japanese cheerleading squad that is all male and wears black trenchcoats? You can see how much fact-checking I do for these reviews.

Anyway, the situations start simple (do homework, get a boss to notice you and ask you out to a dance) and quickly escalate into the absurd (fight a giant Godzilla monster, save the earth from an incoming asteroid). All of these issues are overcome by the power of dance, with mid-song cutscenes that play out either good or bad depending on how you are doing. They are well-animated, very funny, and fully aware that they are being far too self-serious. It's tongue pressed firmly in cheek, and even with the language barrier I knew enough to get a lot of laughs out of the goofy premises. 

Screw up, and you ruin someone's hopes and dreams. 

But this wouldn't be worth anything if not paired with great gameplay, and Ouendan provides this and in spades. The top screen is essentially just used to tell the story, and honestly you won't have time to look up there because you'll be looking at the bottom screen. Made by the same guy who made Guitaroo Man, Ouendan is surprisingly similar. Essentially, buttons appear (with numbers for the order) and you have to tap them in order of the beat. As songs get harder you'll be sliding your stylus, spinning, and tapping in rapid fury. It sounds simple, but believe me: this game gets challenging very quickly.

Tap to use copier!

At the top of the screen is your life bar which, unlike most games, is constantly draining. Each tap is ranked into three tiers, the closer on beat you are the more life you get. Screw up and you lose a bonus chunk of life, which can mess you up very quickly. This becomes especially bananas on the hardest difficulty (appropriately titled "Insane,") where the health bar drops so fast on the later songs you have to hit every note perfectly; just getting an "Ok 100" for being slightly off won't fill the life fast enough to prevent death. It's a good system that keeps you on your toes, though it might be frustrating for those who don't pick up on it fast.

As stated, this game has four difficulty modes, the top two of which have to be unlocked. Beginner and Normal are pretty standard and teach the basics, but Hard is extremely rough. But things get even crazier on Insane: not only does the life drain faster (as mentioned above), but buttons are half the size and appear later (giving you a shorter window to tap). It's the same stages as Hard (though they might be mirrored; I don't remember, but they are in Elite Beat Agents) but this new level of challenge is only for the hardcore.

The cutscenes on top are hilarious, but you'll never have time to watch them. 

Graphically, Ouendan is fantastic. The dancers are 3D sprites that move with the button presses, while the story is presented in somewhat animated cutscenes on top. The art is charming and fun, and as stated completely over the top. It's a laugh riot, and luckily you don't need to know a lick of Japanese to get the humor.

Of course, a music game lives or dies by its soundtrack, and I'm pleased to say Ouendan picks a great batch of tunes, even for Western importers. I don't know any J-Pop to speak of, but I found myself humming a good number of these songs after the fact, and while they're all covers I...wouldn't know that. Like the Persona series, Ouendan picks some standout Japanese tunes that are fun, funny, and catchy. I admit to looking a few of these up on youtube after the fact. 

The Bossman don't let the Ouendan mess around.

Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan was an awesome intro to the music genre of games for me. Peppered with weird and silliness and coupled with an obscenely addicting game (loaded with content, too; those 15 songs go a long way over various difficulty levels), Ouendan is a must-own for fans of the genre. You can import it for relatively cheap, though again: Elite Beat Agents is the western version and is essentially the same game. However, that one just doesn't quite reach the oddness levels of this original, and since you can never have too many songs, I'd still suggest picking it up.

Absolute screen-tapping joy. Five out of five stars.  

Spin, you fool! SPIN!